Modern Families

The one thing that defines a parent is their love for a child, whether it be their biological child, a grandchild, or an adopted or fostered child.

This is a judgement-free zone for parents to come together, ask questions, and share resources about the unique challenges and joys of nontraditional parenting and family life.

Advice on a large family and dealing with so much negativity!

My hubby and I have 6 children and just found out we were pregnant with #7. I am so sick of being asked inappropriate questions and comments like "Are they all by the same man? Are you married? How do afford it? I bet you're on government assistance! Don't you know what causes that? Haven't you heard of birth control?! I'm glad I pay taxes for you to afford your kids."... More

  • Cathy
    47m ago

    I agree. Have as many kids as you want. Right now I only have one - I’m an older mom - and constantly get asked - “When is number 2 coming.” Whether you have 1 child or 7 someone is always asking one way or another and people just need to shut their mouths.

  • Sinai
    40m ago

    I feel like nobody is ever happy with what anyone does.. when My husband and I got pregnant with our son everyone had something negative to say. Saying I’d end up a single mom, my husband has a son from a previous relationship. She was very verbally abusive controlling and kept cheating even after she got pregnant. But everyone used it saying he would leave me or I’d never finish school or I’d... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Sunday

Newly single mom

Me and his dad are still together til our lease is up in February. We are cordial but it's hard to set boundaries when grieving under the same roof. Do any other single parents have advice for going through a breakup while still living together? I'm especially having a tough time with accepting the breakup as valid and permanent. I really never wanted to be a single mom but here I am. ... More

  • Anonymous
    Monday

    I wish I knew exactly what to say as I admittedly have had thoughts of divorce with my husband, but being open to him, we're are working on our relationship. I don't know what you may need specifically but these are some of the things that came across my mind. 1) Make an effort to go out be it for yourself or time with your son. Giving yourself room to breathe away from home is always ... More

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Jun 12

Noticed bullying

My sister took her twin boys (2year olds) to a park yesterday. They were the only ones there .After some time, 4 boys around ages 10 to 12 came and 3 of them started bullying the one other boy. They were calling him dumb and hitting him with a ball and he was just sitting there red faced and silent. My sister didn’t know what to do. She wanted to intervene but was scared for her boys safety as ... More

  • Julie
    Saturday

    To the original poster, I disagree with the two most recent commenters. First of all, 10-12 year old boys are at the prime of pack mentality. One of them was the leader and the other two would have gone along with whatever he said. You have no idea how he would have reacted to you approaching them and trying to help the boy. Second of all, she was there with your two toddler aged children. It’... More

  • Anonymous
    Sunday

    Thanks Julie ❤️. My sister she was mostly thinking about her 2 kids . If she was alone she defiantly would have intervened .

Jade posted in Adoption May 31

Karli, a Sesame Street character in foster care

Did anyone hear about this? So great to see some representation of non-traditional home life on TV. Hopefully, this will open up some dialogue and help to remove some of the stigmas associated with kids in the foster care system. Yay Sesame Street! 🙌🏼 https://www-m.cnn.com/2019/05/20/entertainment/sesame-street-karli-foster-care/index.html?r=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.ca%2F

  • Junoii
    Jun 01

    Yes , I thought it was great ! Difinitely choked me up a bit. I wish people had more conversations about foster care and adoption so the stigma would go away

  • Angie
    Jun 03

    AND they named a street in NY Sesame Street the other day! Love SS and Mr Rogers!

Anonymous posted in Money May 26

Single mom struggling.

Hi guys. I’m a single mom. I have SO much going on right now mentally that I feel like Such a mess. My daughters father was abusive so I worry about letting her see him. So far he’s been really distant with her but he says every once in a while that he wants to see her and of course my daughter wants everything to do with that. I don’t know how to handle it. I don’t trust him. I’m also living a... More

  • Janette
    Jun 09

    Speaking only my opinion and personal experience.. if he was abusive to you, he will be abusive to her. The energy level could be because perhaps u are struggling with narcissistic abuse syndrome. Be kind to yourself, it sounds like there is definitely a lot that has u feeling overwhelmed, my advice is to just do the next right thing.. even if it's just washing your face or planning what u ... More

  • Jessica
    Jun 12

    I’m in a very similar situation. Still living with my parents, but listen hon.... your #1 job is to keep your baby safe and if that means not involving the father then so be it. Also, just take it one day at a time and be sure to make time (even if only 5 mins.) to take care of you!!!

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation May 26

Fiance wants to break up, we have a 2 year old

I feel like a failure of a mother as now I’ll have two different children with two different dads. My first marriage ended amicably and I get along great with my ex and we co parent very well. I’ve been with my current fiancé almost 4 years and he never wants to spend time with us, all he does is work and lay around the house. We’ve gone to therapy, I’ve begged him to spend more time with his c... More

  • Anonymous
    May 26

    Get a lawyer. Both dads should be paying child support

Park bullies

What do you do when you are at the part with your 1.5 year old and she approaches bigger kids very excitedly and eager to see what they are doing and the older kids tell her that she can’t play with them or they don’t want her around or to find other babies to play with? 💔 We has a very sad experience at the park today and my heart broke for my daughter. I tried talking to the little girl sayi... More

  • PK
    May 26

    @jess - do you know what the episode is called or what season it’s on?

  • Kerry
    May 29

    I think the Daniel tiger episode is season 3 episode 22.

Kristen posted in Behavior May 24

Reward charts: Love 'em or hate 'em:?

How do you feel about reward charts? What do you use them for? Are they working? So my son is two and we just started using them. He seems to love them. He gets so happy when he gets a sticker. He hasn't even gotten to the reward part. So we have a help mama/daddy chart. Which is when he helps with chores. I mean actually help, if I do laundry he puts the clothes in the basket, takes the... More

  • Kristen
    May 29

    I hand made them

  • Dorothy
    May 30

    I use an app (ClassDojo) for my 6-year-old. There are different skills that have different point values (bigger skill, more points). And we have a list of rewards that she can “trade” points for. Right now, she’s at about 100 points and is trying to save for a bike which is 500 points. It’s super easy for us because I can always just pull out my phone to give her points and she enjoys working t... More

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture May 23

Birthday party RSVPs

We are having a birthday party for my son in 3 days.. I let my son invite the kids from his babysitters. He is 5 and has always gone there. There are about 10 kids and some are siblings... I knew a lot of people may decline because of the holiday weekend but only one parent has RSVP’d... I have no idea whether to plan on the others attending or not. It is okay either way but I would like ... More

  • Vonda
    May 30

    I always rsvp or at least let people know if I can’t make it asap. I know how important it is to plan for an event. I’d remind everyone to rsvp again. Some people need an extra nudge. Sometimes you have to say it face to face or over a phone call. It’s not a dying art. I always do rsvp for birthdays, our wedding, parties, etc. It makes sure I plan accordingly so there is less waste and knowin... More

  • Mysticnocturne
    Jun 05

    I agree with the people in support of RSVPing. I always do party favors, and I would hate for a kid to be left out because there are not enough, but I also don't want to buy 20 if only 5 kids are attending. I also like it when parents *ASK* is siblings can also attend and not assume that they can. I don't mind- as long as I know in advance- but again- I need to know numbers to make sure... More

Anonymous posted in Child Care May 23

Security blanket/stuffed animal

So my son is almost 15 months old. We have never spent any time apart. I’m a single mom, he sleeps in my bed, and we go everywhere together. There’s literally never a moment we’re not together. A security blanket/stuffed animal hasn’t been necessary and he hasn’t really taken to anything because I have always been there 24/7. He is going to start a Mother’s Day Out program in the fall 2 days a ... More

  • Kendall
    May 25

    Agree ^^ my son carries his puppy around day care ALL DAY LONG and they don’t mind a bit. So I also disagree the program wouldn’t allow it, I think it would be ok, especially if he’s new.

  • Jamie
    May 25

    I highly recommend role playing. It makes a huge difference when they know what to expect. Get a stuffed animal and pretend that you and your child are the parents. Drop the stuffed animal off and reassure him and kiss him goodbye. You might even have some activities to pretend that the stuffed animal will do while at MDO and some other stuffed animals to represent the kids. Then, switch roles.... More

Myrtle posted in Behavior May 22

Interesting article

My three-year-old is constantly asking me to tell her stories. I was getting tired of telling stories but my perspective on storytelling changed after reading this article. https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2019/03/13/XXX-XXXX53/a-playful-way-to-teach-kids-to-control-their-anger

Elena posted in Child Care May 19

Daycare preschool

First time mom here. I'm a stay at home single mom how is that possible it is lol I live with a family member because I'm newly separated my question is since I was a stay at home mom while married I never considered day care well my son turned two and I think it would be good for him and me to go for a couple days a week is he too old ? Is day care mandatory what is the difference betw... More

  • Elena
    May 20

    Thank you so much

  • Maeghan
    May 22

    Try a Mother’s Day Out! I’m also a single SAHM (the looks I get when I say that 😂). I’m starting my son in the fall (he’ll be 18 months) and I’m going to work there for a little extra money. Mother’s Day Outs are typically 2 (sometimes 3) days a week and they don’t stay as long- usually 9-2. Not great for everyone but hoping it works for us! I’m not comfortable (and it’s unnecessary for us) put... More

Anonymous posted in Blended Families May 18

Out of state custody

I am looking into moving to another state in order to get away from my daughter’s father- he is really not a safe person. I know I need to be in a new state for 182 days in order to gain jurisdiction there. Does anyone have experience in this type of situation that could offer me advice or pleasant stories (I’m terrified to do this). Much love! Thank you!

  • Anya levonavna
    May 20

    I was in a very similar situation I’m 2012 when I found myself in a toxic marriage with an abusive man. We lived in PA but I was from New York City and still had a lot of strong ties there. I took my two year old son and left in the middle of the night. My husband came several times to try to take our son back but as soon as he would show up I d call the police. I went to the precinct and I spo... More

  • Anonymous
    May 24

    Anya, thank you! How did you get jurisdiction? My biggest question now is what do I need to do right away so that I can prove that I have been there 6 months when the time comes?

Does anyone feel alone now that they haves kids ... I do

  • Kieli
    May 19

    I just had my second baby 2 weeks ago, and I forgot how isolated the newborn life is. It’s even worse with an almost 2 year old now. I want to so badly get her out to run around and interact with other children, but if she does then I risk getting my newborn sick. Thankfully I have family in town visiting until a little after June, but after then I will be home alone.

  • Kaitlyn
    May 19

    My son is 9mo old and I experienced something similar. I didn’t recognize how lonely I had become and how isolated I was until recently. I believe I had a bit of delayed postpartum depression because I was fine initially and then got progressively worse. I felt as though nobody cared and loved my baby as much as my family and I did and felt as though nobody wanted to be around us once he was bo... More

Really struggling with 7 year old step daughter

Hubs and I each brought in a child from a previous relationship and then we have one together. My daughter (4years old) loves him tremendously and most of the time loves spending time with him unless she is tired or doesn’t feel good then it’s mommy time. My daughters father isn’t in the picture and hasn’t been there since she was about a year old. His daughter (7 year old) has never really wan... More

  • Anonymous
    May 15

    Honestly, the first thing I’d do is tell your husband he needs to but back his hours and help at home more. It sounds like all your kids could use some more attention and you are stretched way too thin.

  • Anonymous
    May 18

    From the perspective of a step daughter - my step dad came into my life when I was 2, my sister 4. I didn't remember times with my dad so I took him in and accepted him as dad immediately. My sister did not. She fought with him constantly, it continued until she moved out at 18. I know it's frustrating, but you have to try and understand how hard it is for that girl to watch her mom pop... More

Anonymous posted in Adoption May 13

HELP! 8-yr-old stealing habits

Hi! My 8-year-old adopted son (adopted a year ago) have recently been stealing: money from home, random small things from grocery stores, small items from his classmates. I have no idea how long this has been going on and only started randomly finding out and catching. We tried talking, explaining that it's illegal, punishing.. nothing is working. It is certainly not kleptomania either beca... More

  • Anonymous
    May 17

    ^^Ashleys idea is great!!!! In high school, when I turned 15 I announced to my parents that in one year I’d get my license and couldn’t wait to drive my car around!!! My parents reply? “Oh you have a car!? Cool! Where is it??” Lolol. They maybe were t the sweetest about it but they made it clear to me that just because my older friends parents gave them whatever they wanted and just becau... More

  • Kara
    May 18

    Maybe someone has mentioned it but, have you considered the possibility that he is testing you? Pushing your limits to see if you will give up on him? He's eight so he knows stealing is wrong but he probably doesn't grasp the full scope of what will happen if he keeps doing it. Persistent bad behavior from an adopted kid though, it might be time to seek a therapist and try to head off s... More

Step dad struggling to be as loved as mommy.

My fiance has been struggling lately with my daughter. He feels like a terrible dad because my daughter says she doesn't want to spend tine with just him. This is his first time around a kid and he's been strict as of late. I try to tell him when he's going overboard but he doesn't always listen. They fight a lot and I'm at a loss as to what to do. She cries when I leave, or... More

Love this!

"I love the framing of a “good birth,” because it removes the false dichotomy of "natural" versus "unnatural." The outcome everyone wants for their delivery is a healthy baby and a healthy mother. Health includes emotional health, too." https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/07/parenting/natural-birth.html

  • Sara
    May 08

    Yes! I will add though that of course a healthy baby and healthy mother is the outcome everyone wants but it's not always the case that all babies are healthy and all mothers are healthy after birth and it's not your fault. Ultimately this isn't a process that you have a lot of control over and a lot of times you just have to accept the cards that are dealt.

Anonymous posted in Blended Families May 07

My son is resentful of his siblings and his stepdad

My 12 year old son is resentful of his stepdad and his younger siblings. We have been together for 7 years and have 2 children together (3 & 1). Before that, it was just my older son and daughter (who are now 12 & 15). He feels that his stepdad and younger siblings have taken me away because they require much more attention. Any advise on how to get him through this?

  • Brian
    May 07

    As a dad and step dad, I’m just honest with the kids. I don’t know how this is suppose to work, but I have enough love for all of them and I try to make time for one on one with them individually. Sometimes it’s helping with homework and other times it’s ice cream or just cuddling and watching their favorite shows. Good luck.

  • Sam
    May 10

    I could have wrote this. Good luck mama! ❤️❤️

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation May 06

What’s in a name?

I was hoping to gather some ideas.... I’m not sure how to teach my 19 month old daughter who her deadbeat birth father is. I cannot bring myself to call him her “dad” or “dada” or “daddy” because those terms seem more enduring and imply a close relationship, which he does not have with her. (He sees her/asks to see her about 1 time a month and ends up just taking pictures to post on social medi... More

  • Lily
    May 09

    I would say just use his first name. Seems appropriate for someone who is only seen once a month

  • Briana
    Saturday

    I would go with father.

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