Modern Families

The one thing that defines a parent is their love for a child, whether it be their biological child, a grandchild, or an adopted or fostered child.

This is a judgement-free zone for parents to come together, ask questions, and share resources about the unique challenges and joys of nontraditional parenting and family life.

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Thursday

Would you live in an area you don’t like to stay close to co-parent (Ex)

I am missing my hometown and am looking to move back. Currently my ex lives only 20 mins away and is able to see our son every week. If I move, it would be an hour at least and he would have to take him every other weekend. I’m not sure whether I should base where I live on where my ex lives, especially when my whole family lives in my hoMe town and my son could see family more. But the idea of... More

  • Amanda

    Specifically: my mom lived in North Carolina, where my siblings and I attended school, and my dad moved to Maryland. After my dad moved, he would make the six-hour drive every Friday, rent a hotel room for two nights, and then drive six hours back to Maryland on Sunday. My siblings and I had the option of staying with our dad in the hotel or staying at home with our mom during the weekends, but... More

  • Anonymous

    That sounds like a good dad for doing all of that!

Newly separated - how to do bedtime with 2 kids?

My husband and I just separated and so the kids (2 yo girl and 4 yo boy) will now be put down by one of us each night. What we used to do was, after the bath they would take together, each of us would take a kid (we would switch kids each night), read that kid 2 books, them sit with him/her until they fell asleep. We had aspirations of reading, kissing goodnight, and leaving the room to have th... More

  • Sara
    Jan 08

    I highly recommend separate bedtimes for different age kids which it sounds like you're doing. Our kids are 4.5 and 1.5 and we always put the 1.5 year old down first. My older one knows that she is special and gets to stay up later than her sister but that part of that privilege means making sure she does not disturb the parent who is putting her sister down. Often my husband has to do bedt... More

  • Ali
    Jan 14

    My husband does shift work so I am on my own at bedtime often. Mine are 3 and 5.5 and I put them to bed at the same time because I prefer a 30 min. Bedtime routine to a 60 min. Routine We read one or two books, then I tuck them each in and sit between their rooms where they can both see me. If this wasn’t an option maybe switch rooms each night or switch rooms every 5 min.? Maybe they could... More

Anonymous posted in Blended Families Jan 03

Overweight child

At what age do you stop pretending to your child that their weight isn’t an issue and that “they will grow into it”? I have a 10 year old step son who weighs 150lbs and is starting to become even more inactive then he previously was. His height is normal height for his age. I feel like his parents just keep pushing it off in hopes he will thin out but this has been going on since he was 6. ... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 03

    My husband has said multiple times we would be going on walks after dinner and haven’t done them yet. I can’t force my step son to do it if my husband doesn’t support me when I say it. He has tons of nerf guns and sports balls but my husband doesn’t force him to go out to use them. We went to a bouncy house indoor park last week and he didn’t/couldn’t do much. When we have gone out for a walk i... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 04

    Sounds like your husband is the problem. Get him fully on board first. Just like anything new, it’s hard at the beginning but if you make it routine it will get easier (increasing activity, evening walks, etc). Just make a point to create a schedule/routine that includes exercise Diet on the other hand - you just have to get rid of the foods that are bad. Just make it completely unavailable.... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Dec 28

How much time does dad spend with his kids?

How much time does the father of your child(ren) spend with them? My partner and I are raising three kids together. The older two are his from a previous marriage, but we have them most of the time. The youngest is ours together. I’m a SAHM and my partner works from home a lot of the time. His work is often slow, so he is home doing nothing all day. He rarely helps me with anything and doesn’t ... More

Unsolicited parenting advice

Christmas is a time we see family members that we don't see on a daily basis. Do you get unsolicited parenting advice from these family members, because they have spent a few days with you and have witnessed some "problem" on how you raise your children? It happens a lot back in where I am from, Hong Kong. And someone told me unsolicited advice is a very Chinese thing. I wonder i... More

  • C
    Dec 26

    I notice that if it is just me with our son walking about town, I get unsolicited advice from random strangers. If we were with my husband, I don’t get unsolicited advice. I suspect it’s a sexist thing. Thankfully my parents and in laws give advice very sparingly because they know even less about kids today. What little advice they give is terrible - the dangerously outdated kind that frighten... More

  • Vonda
    Dec 27

    I take it with a grain of salt. Say thank you. And move on. Because every parent is different with their kid. And every kid is different. I say the same thing when my cousin asks for my advice on my kid since she is pregnant. I tell her to take what I say with a grain of salt. You won’t use some of it. More than some cause we are doing the same parenting strategy. But still, there will be thin... More

Anonymous posted in Blended Families Dec 04

I don't know how to feel about my girlfriend and her ex

My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years now. She goes out of her way for her ex, the father of her child. Just last weekend she took him and baby boy to town to go shop. He doesn’t have a car or any means of transportation. But they do more than just shop. They go out to eat and go to the park and take photos together. And she tells me not to be mad about that... but I just don’t kno... More

  • Jess
    Dec 06

    No one can tell you how to feel. I would also feel a little strange about it which I think is natural, but if you both have a good healthy relationship and trust each other, I think it’s great that they can coparent that way. Not everyone would feel comfortable with that situation though, but after time I think you will feel better about it and your gf will appreciate you more for being so unde... More

  • anonymous mom
    Dec 20

    No one should make you feel bad about how you feel. And no one should tell you how to feel. If I were you I’d consider inviting yourself along on the shopping trips. See how they interact and let it be a nice way to bond with your stepchild and learn more about her ex. That should help put your mind at ease.

Anonymous posted in Blended Families Nov 24

Ex’s girlfriend always comes to my door at dropoff

My ex and his gf of 6 months moved in together recently and my son met her a couple months ago. She is nice and we get along, but for a while she was using her bank account to send my ex’s child support, which I asked if that could stop for tax filing reasons. Now every single Sun when my ex drops my son off, she comes to the door with both of them and my ex says “aren’t you going to give her a... More

Only child problem

So I took my 4 yo daughter to one of those jumping places. She wanted to find someone to play with and she asked a few random kids if they wanted to play, and with the exception of one younger girl, everybody said no. Poor thing, she was so heartbroken. She played with that little girl for a minute but eventually lost her. She later on was playing by herself at the playground with some balls. W... More

  • David Carmona
    Nov 24

    Give her an awesome toy all the kids want, and she'll be the most popular ;) I was kinda one of these kids going up and remember sports and arts open up great friendships.

  • Penelope
    Dec 02

    Kids aren’t open to new kids all the time. Or they get weirded out by strangers. You’re told not to talk to strangers as kid too, and if they’re older that’s not really that unusual. She’ll most likely do jt to someone else’s kid one day. It’s life. Adults do it too. We go to the trampoline place with my 2yr old and she was 1.5 or younger at first. But we go in with her. We’re the friends. And... More

La posted in Education Nov 16

Homeschooling as a single parent?

Great Raising! I want to homeschool my two little girls in the near future. I am a single parent and I work overnight for now. It seems really hard to do. Are there any moms out there that are single and homeschool? If so please share any ideas, tips and inspiration. Thank you in advance

Anonymous posted in Family Life Nov 13

My mom criticizes me as a SAHM

It breaks my heart to admit & share that my mom does not make me feel proud of my current situation as a full time SAHM. Back story, she had me (unplanned & not yet married) at 19, then I think somewhere in between that, my parents decided to get married before I was born. But I know the full story because it’s like a bedtime story to me. At a young age, she kept reminding me of what th... More

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Nov 09

Mom guilt

I’m 30 weeks pregnant with twins, needless to say I’m exhausted and in pain. I also have a 2 year old, and lately we’ve been watching WAY more movies than I ever wanted for a two year old. I feel like we’re just surviving, I feel guilty 😞

  • courtney
    Nov 12

    i’m 34 weeks pregnant with one baby. i can’t imagine being pregnant with twins AND taking care of a 2 year old. in my opinion, what matters at the end of the day, is that your kids are loved, healthy and alive. you’re tired and in pain.. there’s no need for you to stress yourself out more than you need to. you’re doing great ❤️

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Nov 12

    Do not feel guilty. I have 4 kids, 5 and under so I’ve been pregnant with toddlers a lot (no twins). I spent a lot of time feeling guilty about that. But I look back and it was fine. The alternative was often me yelling or them crying because I was exhausted and they were toddlers. Can’t be better than tv. Positive memories is best. Good luck!!

Anonymous posted in Behavior Nov 01

Toddler and infant stress

My wife and I have a 23 month old and a almost 2 month old. I still lose my cool when one of them are crying and causing a scene in public. My wife says that she needs a partner and to get over letting the stress get to me but I can’t do that. It feels instinctual to react. I don’t want to, but it just happens. I need to figure out a way to cope with the stress because it just causes instant an... More

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Nov 06

    My first two were 17 months apart. My husband and I learned a lot then. The best way that worked for us was thinking about it scientifically. They are not trying to embarrass you or make you miserable. Their brains just aren’t there yet. They physically do not know how to process their emotions in a “civil” manner. Part of the reason you react is likely cause your exhausted, and that cuts into... More

  • Anonymous
    Nov 06

    Babies are hard to deal with, sometimes, especially when you’ve got two under two. My husband used to be the same way when our two kids were babies/toddlers. Their crying or tantrums drove up his anxiety levels and he’d end up frustrated or get upset when they’d have meltdowns. What worked for him at first was stepping away for a few minutes to cool down and remove himself from the situation ... More

Anonymous posted in Mental Health Oct 31

Any parents out there with ADHD or other mental health challenges?

I feel like parenting as a person with ADHD comes with new and different experiences, and I've been wondering if any other parents have been through anything similar :)

  • HR
    Nov 07

    As a person with life-long depression & anxiety, I sometimes have a rough time (I want to be the best for my kid, I don’t think I’m being the best, then I spiral), but I feel like parenthood has helped me try harder to do more to manage myself & push myself out of my comfort zones to help him have a more ‘normal,’ loving childhood (not one where his memories are tainted with Mommy being... More

  • HR
    Nov 07

    ALSO: Anonymous’ post on the 31st reminds me to let others know that it IS possible to have a healthy baby while still taking medication during pregnancy. Definitely work with doctor on this—they can help you find something that will work while carrying if possible, then to help you readjust after birth. For example: I was on Zoloft & Lexapro. My baby was born healthy, & I was alive &am... More

My 3 yr old takes FOREVER to fall asleep!!!!!

I don’t know if she just has insomnia or if I’m doing something wrong but bed time is a huge battle that lasts for two hours and strips me from having any alone time. I’m a single parent so I don’t have anyone helping me get her to bed. She throws a fit if I leave the room so I’m sitting here until she falls asleep. She’ll roll around in the bed, talk to herself, sing, play with her stuff anima... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 08, 2019

    Have you tried an ok to wake clock? My son used to drag out bedtime too... kept getting out of bed and screamed at the door. We got the clock with the dog and ball that turns red and green (amazon). Red means stay in bed and green means go. We got door knob covers too so he couldn’t come out of his room. With our baby monitor we would just remind him that red means stay in bed and that we would... More

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Oct 11, 2019

    My first two kids dropped their nap around age 3. My oldest would do exactly what your child is doing. Take forever at bed time, rarely falling asleep before 930. I used to bring my computer in the room and just sit in the corner angled away. I told my son I would tell him a story, sing a song 5x, then go do my work. He rolled with it, and I felt like i atleast could do something. Pay bills, sh... More

Anonymous posted in Single Parents Oct 01, 2019

How to time manage with little sleep?

I am a mom of two beautiful toddlers. I have a two and three year old. I work overnight so that I am with them in the morning. I am also a single mom. I don’t want to do daycare yet. I do nap in the morning for about two hours before they up. I nap another two to three hours during their nap time. I am always tired and I would like to do more with them. I don’t have much support. Any idea or ti... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 03, 2019

    Thank you so much. I appreciate the feed back. I was thinking that I do need help. Lol it’s so hard to realize sometimes because we try to do it all. It hitting me now .

  • Anonymous
    Oct 03, 2019

    yes! When you are at your best, your kids get the best of you too. it's a win win for everyone if you get a few hours of help in the day so you can get proper rest. night shift is already a strain on the body and your sleep is so important. don't feel bad about getting childcare for a couple hours. good luck!

Anonymous posted in Single Parents Sep 28, 2019

My life is all about my child

I’m a single mom of one two year old . I’m starting to let myself go and it’s all about my baby. Before I had a child I had my hair done etc... Now, I’m not myself . I feel bad if I spend money on myself and I don’t go out to enjoy myself . I mostly go out for my son only . This isn’t healthy because I’m starting to wish I didn’t have a child . It’s bad to say but true. What is the best way to ... More

  • Raji
    Sep 29, 2019

    I think it’s important for you to take care of yourself especially since you are single parent. You should not be feeling guilty. Start small, put some money aside for yourself from every paycheck and use it for yourself. Your child will appreciate a happier mom.

  • Gudi
    Jan 14

    Am a single mom too. I try my best to take care of both me and my son. I look at him as my best friend and plan fun things just for the two of us. If it’s going out, we go out to eat just the two of us, if it’s shopping, what I buy for myself is what I buy him so that way none of us is left out. Trust me , only you can love yourself. Your child has love from you and his father and if lucky from... More

3 YO Birthday Party

Hi All, looking for ideas in planning an indoor fall birthday party that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg?! Anyone else out there feel like some posts on Instagram for kids birthday parties gives them anxiety?

  • Vonda
    Sep 29, 2019

    We ordered pizza and I made a cake from scratch. Super cheap. Only had close family and friends. Used the same decorations we used last year. Easy.

  • winter
    Oct 02, 2019

    Family & Friends ! If it were up to me it would just be the 3 of us! Ha!

Anonymous posted in Child Care Sep 26, 2019

No one to watch 2yo

Im basically a single mom with no family around, I’ve never let anyone watch my toddler. If I go into labor will the hospital allow my toddler to stay in the delivery room or do hospitals have childcare centers? Will the hospital allow her to stay overnight with me?

  • Monica
    Oct 12, 2019

    What area do you live in?

  • Marie
    Oct 17, 2019

    Yes what area do you live? I would love to help out if I can. And we have a beautiful group of SAHMs where I'm at that always pitch in to help. Please reach out to me

How to organize myself ??

Good day all, I am a single mom of two boys 7/11 and I find myself all over the place with my hands into a lot of things but not really getting anything done. I wake up early to take the kids to school, go back home and get ready for work. Then I get out of work to pick them up and go straight home. Sometimes I have to wait a while for a parking. If I have the kids start homework first in the ... More

  • C D
    Oct 03, 2019

    You are not alone. I, and other moms I know who work outside of home, struggle, as well, so don’t feel bad. In addition to trying to trying to delegate age appropriate chores, I also try to do what I can ahead of time for meals. I try to double recipes so we can eat half now and then freeze the other half for a tough night later on. I also use a crock pot (to cook while we’re at work/school) an... More

  • Jennifer
    Oct 03, 2019

    Definitely meal prep ahead of time on the weekends so you have your whole week of meal planned out. Or use an instant pot. I typically throw all the food in the instant pot when I get home and put it to cook. Or make easy 15 minute meals like spagetthi or vegtable and beef stir fry. While I'm waiting for instant pot to be done, I have time to help my kids get homework done. I work ful... More

I did it. I separated from my abusive husband.

2 days later I found out I was pregnant. Now I have a high risk pregnancy (16 weeks along) and a 2 year old and I'm a single mom. I feel completely lost. Like a puzzle piece without a puzzle. I have no idea what to do, where to turn, where do I belong. Before this I was a sahm. Now what?? Any advice for me?

  • Lulu
    Sep 20, 2019

    Thank you Ivy

  • Katrina
    Sep 23, 2019

    glad to hear you left the abusive situation. no one deserves that. going forward it's your body and your choice what you want to do. you have full power to decided what is best for you & your 2 yo. there is no wrong choice. find support services, where he cannot easily find you. search online for single mothers support groups or support for domestic violence survivors, this may help yo... More

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