Modern Families

The one thing that defines a parent is their love for a child, whether it be their biological child, a grandchild, or an adopted or fostered child.

This is a judgement-free zone for parents to come together, ask questions, and share resources about the unique challenges and joys of nontraditional parenting and family life.

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Wednesday

Baby advice! (long post)

Hi all! I just wanted to share some of my experiences with having a baby. My daughter was born in December and is now 4 months old. She’s a very easygoing baby (which I am forever grateful for!). However, in the short time I’ve been a mom, I have gotten a LOT of advice. Both good and bad. I’ve been told to sleep when the baby sleeps, which is a great idea up to a point. You can’t be expected to... More

  • Anonymous
    Yesterday

    @Annie I’ve started doing that too, my daughter is still in her cooing phase and it always makes her smile and kick her legs like crazy when I have a conversation with her

  • cocomac
    Yesterday

    Don’t feel guilty to say no to people. It’s true when they say “they grow so fast”. My husband and I spent first 2 months saying yes and putting our family members happiness (she is first grand baby on both sides) before ours and we both now realize that we need to put our own happiness (and our own troubles) before our family members’. I actually am in therapy because I felt robbed of my mate... More

Yuyuita posted in Behavior Apr 10

Playground etiquette

Today I took my daughter to the playground she is 20 mo, she was gonna use the slide when a boy probably around 2 yo climbed back on the slide it was a dual slide so I thought it was enough space for both to play, when the boy got closer to her then stepped on my daughter’s hand and didn’t move so I proceed to move his foot from my daughters hand and said don’t do that, then finally I heard the... More

  • Kate
    Apr 12

    Just another idea here: You can use a situation like this to teach your kiddo how to assert herself. Use a calm, confident voice and say something like, “[Name], tell him to stop. If you don’t like that, tell him. Say ‘stop’.” And if you say it a little loudly (but still calmly), the other kid’s parent may overhear and try to help. We’re not always going to be around them, so we might as we... More

  • Yuyuita
    Apr 13

    My daughter didn’t cry but I wasn’t gonna wait until I had deal with a crying baby, right now she is going through a phase where she freezes when someone comes to close to her, there have been times where other toddlers come close to her to touch her or even push her but I can see clearly that is out of curiosity in those cases she just stands and do nothing so I just tell her come let’s go try... More

At what point am I no longer considered a first-time or new mom?

Is it once my baby is more than six months old? Is it after I have a second child? When did you stop referring to yourself as a first-time or new parent?

  • Amy
    Apr 11

    Funny, I don’t know! I think I stopped around my son’s first year. Not for any reason, it just stopped coming up.

  • Anonymous
    Apr 12

    Hmmm..no idea too..I agree..when you have more kids guess..I still feel like a first time mom and my kid is 3! Haha they're constantly changing and always keep your on your toes..everything that happens is the first time

Middle name suggestions?

Me and my husband are leaning toward the name Enzo for our baby boy due in a couple weeks. Any middle names that would sound good? Last name is Bahena and we are Hispanic. Thanks for all and any suggestions 💙

  • Mama
    Apr 10

    Enzo James Bahena Enzo Alexander Bahena Enzo Orlando Bahena

  • Mama
    Apr 10

    💗

Anonymous posted in Single Parents Mar 31

Single Mom -> new relationship

My son is a year and a half I recently started seeing someone and I grew into a relationship when do you think would be an appropriate time to introduce him to my son?

  • Kristi
    Apr 01

    At this age it’s a little easier because your son isn’t at the age to make long term attachments or ask questions if someone isn’t there but I would say you need to make sure he will be around for a while. I’ve been single my son’s whole life and he’s only met a few of the guys I’ve dated and he’s 7. You just want to be sure that he isn’t going to get attached to someone you aren’t that serious... More

Anonymous posted in Blended Families Mar 29

Do I step back or keep going

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year now, He has a beautiful little 6yo girl and I love her to pieces and I’ve grown to be very involved in her life. But recent events have reminded me that I am very much not her parent, one day I hope to be but currently I’m not. Sometimes I feel like a glorified babysitter and nothing more. Do I continue to try to be a maternal figure in her... More

  • Erin
    Apr 01

    If her mother is in her life, you will NEVER and nor should you want to be able to compete with that. Depending on the situation you could be more of a maternal figure eventually but you may have to accept that being a step parent is difficult and make the best of it. If you don’t try too hard it can be nice but don’t ignore your own needs or you will only end up resentful and that’s how you be... More

Returning to Work

I have a job interview this coming week that could turn into a strong prospect if not an all out offer. My little one is 17 months old and I have stayed at home with her the entire time. I love my career and worked very hard for it to give it up for motherhood. I’m having a lot of conflicting feelings ... am I a bad mother? Is going back to work going to stress the bond I’ve already had difficu... More

  • Jen
    Mar 28

    Oh heavens no! Not at all a bad mother...is that even what people say anymore?? Moms work all the time!! You’re not gonna be the first.... There is no research out there that shows working parents somehow hurt kids. But there IS proven research that says kids with working mothers actually have benefits when they become adults. (Harvard Business Review, perhaps? Can’t recall...) Girls with work... More

  • annag
    Mar 28

    you need to be a good role model, by taking care of yourself first so that you can help others from a stronger stance. Yes, going back to work will be stressful, but then, so would staying at home full-time.

Anonymous posted in Family Life Mar 20

Unwanted baby name input...

My husband and I didn’t tell anyone what we were going to name our baby until after he arrived (partially due to the fact that we hadn’t decided yet). Now that I’m pregnant with baby #2, I’ve been more open when his family asks what our name options are... they’re pretty verbal about what they like and don’t like... and I keep finding myself getting offended. How should I respond to their sco... More

  • Stacey
    Mar 22

    My mom and sister hated our son's name when we chose it (Ronan) but they came around. We told them we liked it and he is our baby. To be honest I don't think they heard it correctly the first time.

  • Mark
    Mar 28

    We made up fake names that were so obnoxious, that it disarmed them. I also told many people they did not have review privileges.

Elissa posted in Big Kids Mar 20

How to help autistic gender exploring tween?

So 8 months ago my 10 year old high functioning Aspergers kid, female by birth, confessed to me that they hate being a girl, dread puberty and want medical intervention to prevent it, and identify as neither male nor female. I am having a hard time understanding them, respecting their non binary wish to be called they and child. They cut their hair boy short, dress like a boy and have expressed... More

  • Maxine
    Sunday

    I’d be asking where this came from. It’s a trajectory that’s hard to come back from. I have a friend that said he thought he could be gay when he was a kid because of the way another man treated him. He said that he thought maybe the guy saw something “gay” in him that made him doubt his sexuality. I believe the first step is to try and find out if this is the result of something specific. Al... More

Xena posted in Behavior Mar 20

6 Year Old, that doesn’t wanna listen.

I’m needing help on this problem too. I’ve been with this little girl for 8 months now, moved in with her & her dad ( bf of mine ). She hasn’t been respectful or good at listening to me at all. She acts totally different when her dad gets home from work. Or when she’s around other people. She likes to ignore me Or throw tantrums. So I send her to timeout. But it seems like she isn’t learnin... More

  • Xena
    Mar 21

    Thank You all so much for the help! I will try things out, make some charts for chores & etc and see where it goes from there . Thank you so much y’all

  • John Maxwell
    Mar 22

    All you have to do is engage in all activities she loves doing, Make her see you and talk to you as a friend not someone trying to replace her mom.

Xena posted in Behavior Mar 20

How to make 6 year old clean up?

I need advice on how to make her understand that she needs to pick up her toys, clothes, shoes, & etc. when she’s done with them. I kept telling her if I see any toys on the ground they're going with me & I’ll take them or I’ll throw it away. Am I doing the right thing?

  • Jessie
    Mar 20

    I think positive reinforcement is almost always key, but IF the time calls for it, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with grabbing a trash bag for a little scare and saying, “well, I told you... If you can’t take care of your things by putting them back where they belong, then I’ll give them to someone who will.” ;) Good luck!

  • Elissa
    Apr 01

    I would tell her she has til such and such time to pick up her things. If she doesn’t, the item goes in time out, for like a day, or she gets an extra chore before it can come out again. We have a lego chore chart and my SS loves to complete everything so all the LEGOs are on it. You could try something like that as well

Evening or night shift?

I will be a single parent in the beginning of April and i dont know what shift i should go for to be able to be with my two year old son? I will be full time and a CNA?.

Elle posted in Behavior Mar 19

Inuit Parenting Style

"With little kids, you often think they're pushing your buttons, but that's not what's going on. They're upset about something, and you have to figure out what it is." https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2019/03/13/XXX-XXXX53/a-playful-way-to-teach-kids-to-control-their-anger

  • Lulu
    Mar 19

    Amazing read! Thanks!

  • Elle
    Mar 19

    I guess our parenting style is French-Inuit then...

Parent guilt over growing twins

My Littles are 6 months on Thursday and they’re rolling over, crawling, teething, pulling up on the rails of their cribs and my Twin A is sitting up unassisted. How? They were just 4 & 5 pound little balls of human just the other day?! I feel so sad that I’m not feeling as present as I would like to be in this whole Twin Life thing. I’m never NOT busy though, and I’ve blinked and suddenly... More

  • Anonymous
    Mar 20

    Welcome to parenthood! A lifetime of parental guilt 🙂. It’s completely normal - just remember to focus on quality time over quantity.

  • Brigitte
    Mar 20

    You know, this is why I feel frustrated when people always look at me sagely and say, “enjoy it! Take it all in! It goes so fast!” I know they have the best intentions when they say that; but I’ve really come to feel that instead of encouraging me it just makes me feel guilty. Parenthood, ESPECIALLY in the first year, is so hard and emotionally challenging. One minute you’re wildly in love and ... More

Anonymous posted in Blended Families Mar 17

New boyfriend

How long should I wait to bring my son around my new boyfriend? I've been good friends with my bf for almost 10 years now, but we didn't start being a couple until recently. When and how should I tell my child's father? My child's father and I have been broken up for almost 2 years, but still living together until about a month ago. My child's father and I had no issues no... More

  • Kerry
    Mar 18

    Did your child know your bf before you started dating? How old is your child? Imo if youve known him for that long and trust him have him around your son but as a friend to him not a “father/dad” figure. The father cant dictate who you have around your son unless it puts your son in danger or a bad situation. If you have good friends and family, then have them around your son. Specially if you ... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Mar 17

Need parents opinions

I'm a pretty damn good mom of twins but it gets hard a lot of the time. My S/O works a lot to provide for the family. It feels like he isn't doing what he should with the babies though. They're a little over a year old and I was hoping he would interact with them more. He basically gets home and says hello, gives hugs, kisses and every now and then will play with them for 5 or 10 mi... More

  • Anonymous
    Mar 18

    Of course other men spend time parenting their children while supporting the family. Parenting isn’t just providing financial support or putting roof on their heads or just buying food. I guess you fell in the roles of past times where u take care of kids n he works. If you want change you are gonna have to work at it. Your are not being harsh and unappreciative; the father needs to do his half... More

Baby boy name suggestions!

My husband and I are fully Mexican but speak more English. Our families mostly speak Spanish so we need something that sounds good both in Spanish and English. I’m due first week of May 😊

Terribles twos

Tantrums, daughter getting sick & starting a new job 😩😩😩Im a single parent and I feel like I just want to cry. It’s so over whelming... 😔

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Mar 16

    Ps, you are working hard and doing a great job. It’s okay to cry and be overwhelmed. I’ve done that. I hope somehow you get some time to yourself and feel proud of all you are doing for you and her!!

  • Ashlie
    Apr 08

    My daughter is almost 2 and throws fits but I just let her throw them and she quits pretty fast bc she knows she. Isn’t going to get attention from momma doing that lol...you’re doing great

Anonymous posted in Behavior Mar 12

Power Struggles with 5yo

I get that they’re common, but I’m so very tired of them and I feel overwhelmed by what might be in store for us. As a single-parent family, would it be wise to invest in some family counseling? Or is this something I should ride out for a while?

  • Anonymous
    Mar 14

    Thanks for the suggestions. I’ll look into the podcast and books. And counseling as well probably.

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