Modern Families

The one thing that defines a parent is their love for a child, whether it be their biological child, a grandchild, or an adopted or fostered child.

This is a judgement-free zone for parents to come together, ask questions, and share resources about the unique challenges and joys of nontraditional parenting and family life.

My 3 yr old takes FOREVER to fall asleep!!!!!

I don’t know if she just has insomnia or if I’m doing something wrong but bed time is a huge battle that lasts for two hours and strips me from having any alone time. I’m a single parent so I don’t have anyone helping me get her to bed. She throws a fit if I leave the room so I’m sitting here until she falls asleep. She’ll roll around in the bed, talk to herself, sing, play with her stuff anima... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 08

    Have you tried an ok to wake clock? My son used to drag out bedtime too... kept getting out of bed and screamed at the door. We got the clock with the dog and ball that turns red and green (amazon). Red means stay in bed and green means go. We got door knob covers too so he couldn’t come out of his room. With our baby monitor we would just remind him that red means stay in bed and that we would... More

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Oct 11

    My first two kids dropped their nap around age 3. My oldest would do exactly what your child is doing. Take forever at bed time, rarely falling asleep before 930. I used to bring my computer in the room and just sit in the corner angled away. I told my son I would tell him a story, sing a song 5x, then go do my work. He rolled with it, and I felt like i atleast could do something. Pay bills, sh... More

Anonymous posted in Single Parents Oct 01

How to time manage with little sleep?

I am a mom of two beautiful toddlers. I have a two and three year old. I work overnight so that I am with them in the morning. I am also a single mom. I don’t want to do daycare yet. I do nap in the morning for about two hours before they up. I nap another two to three hours during their nap time. I am always tired and I would like to do more with them. I don’t have much support. Any idea or ti... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 03

    Thank you so much. I appreciate the feed back. I was thinking that I do need help. Lol it’s so hard to realize sometimes because we try to do it all. It hitting me now .

  • Anonymous
    Oct 03

    yes! When you are at your best, your kids get the best of you too. it's a win win for everyone if you get a few hours of help in the day so you can get proper rest. night shift is already a strain on the body and your sleep is so important. don't feel bad about getting childcare for a couple hours. good luck!

Anonymous posted in Single Parents Sep 28

My life is all about my child

I’m a single mom of one two year old . I’m starting to let myself go and it’s all about my baby. Before I had a child I had my hair done etc... Now, I’m not myself . I feel bad if I spend money on myself and I don’t go out to enjoy myself . I mostly go out for my son only . This isn’t healthy because I’m starting to wish I didn’t have a child . It’s bad to say but true. What is the best way to ... More

  • Raji
    Sep 29

    I think it’s important for you to take care of yourself especially since you are single parent. You should not be feeling guilty. Start small, put some money aside for yourself from every paycheck and use it for yourself. Your child will appreciate a happier mom.

3 YO Birthday Party

Hi All, looking for ideas in planning an indoor fall birthday party that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg?! Anyone else out there feel like some posts on Instagram for kids birthday parties gives them anxiety?

  • Vonda
    Sep 29

    We ordered pizza and I made a cake from scratch. Super cheap. Only had close family and friends. Used the same decorations we used last year. Easy.

  • winter
    Oct 02

    Family & Friends ! If it were up to me it would just be the 3 of us! Ha!

Anonymous posted in Child Care Sep 26

No one to watch 2yo

Im basically a single mom with no family around, I’ve never let anyone watch my toddler. If I go into labor will the hospital allow my toddler to stay in the delivery room or do hospitals have childcare centers? Will the hospital allow her to stay overnight with me?

  • Monica
    Oct 12

    What area do you live in?

  • Marie
    Oct 17

    Yes what area do you live? I would love to help out if I can. And we have a beautiful group of SAHMs where I'm at that always pitch in to help. Please reach out to me

How to organize myself ??

Good day all, I am a single mom of two boys 7/11 and I find myself all over the place with my hands into a lot of things but not really getting anything done. I wake up early to take the kids to school, go back home and get ready for work. Then I get out of work to pick them up and go straight home. Sometimes I have to wait a while for a parking. If I have the kids start homework first in the ... More

  • C D
    Oct 03

    You are not alone. I, and other moms I know who work outside of home, struggle, as well, so don’t feel bad. In addition to trying to trying to delegate age appropriate chores, I also try to do what I can ahead of time for meals. I try to double recipes so we can eat half now and then freeze the other half for a tough night later on. I also use a crock pot (to cook while we’re at work/school) an... More

  • Jennifer
    Oct 03

    Definitely meal prep ahead of time on the weekends so you have your whole week of meal planned out. Or use an instant pot. I typically throw all the food in the instant pot when I get home and put it to cook. Or make easy 15 minute meals like spagetthi or vegtable and beef stir fry. While I'm waiting for instant pot to be done, I have time to help my kids get homework done. I work ful... More

I did it. I separated from my abusive husband.

2 days later I found out I was pregnant. Now I have a high risk pregnancy (16 weeks along) and a 2 year old and I'm a single mom. I feel completely lost. Like a puzzle piece without a puzzle. I have no idea what to do, where to turn, where do I belong. Before this I was a sahm. Now what?? Any advice for me?

  • Lulu
    Sep 20

    Thank you Ivy

  • Katrina
    Sep 23

    glad to hear you left the abusive situation. no one deserves that. going forward it's your body and your choice what you want to do. you have full power to decided what is best for you & your 2 yo. there is no wrong choice. find support services, where he cannot easily find you. search online for single mothers support groups or support for domestic violence survivors, this may help yo... More

Guilty mom

How should I break the news to our kids that my husband and I are taking a 3-day getaway without them! They are 7 and 9.

  • Beth
    Sep 19

    Definitely what Caroline said! Focus on what they get to do! You'll miss them and if they miss you, you can always have a phone call or a FaceTime these days! Don't tease them about how nice it'll be for you guys to not see them, because that'll start to frame it like they're a burden.

  • Anays
    Sep 25

    Thank you ladies. It went super well.

Anonymous posted in Bottle Feeding Sep 15

Breastfeeding

My MIL keeps saying low key remarks about me not wanting to breastfeed my twins this winter.... I’m perfectly content in my choice and it mostly just irritates me that she isn’t, I’m not going to change my mind. Anyways- just wanted to say.... if you don’t want to breastfeed, then don’t and you’re still a bada$$ mom.

  • G
    Sep 16

    Well said!

Working part time while having a big family

My fiancé and I want 6 kids when we get married. Right now he works part time and I am currently looking for a part time job. I graduated from school over a year ago, but I’m having trouble finding work. I’m wondering if it’s even possible to be a working parent while having a big family?

  • Donna
    Sep 19

    I’m a full time working mom of 3 under 6 and I’m making it work. But I’ll admit that oftentimes, it is hard to strike a balance. Either work or family or finances takes a backseat, and they take turns. It was also really tough financially having 3 in daycare at once. For that reason, I’d say to try to space them out to have no more than 2 in full time daycare at a time.

Should I move in with my son’s father?

I’m currently living with his mom. I had to move unexpectedly and this was really my only option. My son’s father and I have been on and off for a while now. He wasn’t very consistent in our son’s life until a few months ago. He does pay child support but I’ve kept it at a low amount to not make it hard on him. (He also pays for 2 other children) anyway, we recently agreed to work on a relation... More

  • Beverly Vantine
    Sep 12

    If finances were a huge concern, and I thought it better than living with my mom, then yes I'd do it. BUTTTTT.... I would suggest that you both get a piece of paper and write out expectations so you can come to an agreement. Because if you're not building life together, you should both still be able to date or have some social life on the weekend. So before moving in, figure out how you... More

  • Brooke
    Sep 12

    Honestly I think it depends on the people and the situation around why you broke up in the first place. Is there any hard feelings? Is someone still in love? Are you guys civil around each other? Unless you're like friends now, I don't see it being a great idea just because your son will be there and in the middle of anything that would happen but if there's no hard feelings I don&#... More

2nd birthday party??

So my boyfriend and I are in the midst of house hunting and our little ones 2nd birthday party is coming up in two months. I'm not sure if it's the stress of life or maybe because I'm a crappy mom :/ but I have ZERO motivation to throw him a birthday party :/ Last year for his 1st birthday party, around this time I had the theme and decorations picked out! I was super excited proba... More

  • Kate
    Sep 12

    We did the party for the 1st bday and this year for 2nd we just invited family to join us at a theme park with rides. It was a no pressure thing, just something we wanted to do over the summer anyway so we made it the birthday thing. I felt like next year at 3 our daughter might be more aware of birthday parties so we thought we’d have fun but save money this year.

  • Natasha
    Sep 29

    I went all out for my daughters first birthday party. We rented a bounce house and everything! The next year for her 2nd birthday we were going to do Chuck E. Cheese but eventually went with monkey joes! They had great birthday party packs, better food, games, and fun for my little one, who (let’s face it) unfortunately will only remember from the pictures and video’s. However, my daughter, and... More

MIL doesn’t date, her son told her “not to”

My MIL is single/divorced (despite whatever weird relationship is going on with her ex-husband... I won’t go into details lol). During a tumultuous time in their life, my husband had to step up and become the adult early on in his life. He always said, “you don’t date or marry anyone, no one will treat you well” as a means of protecting/loving his single mom. They were very close for a while u... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 31

    How long has she been single? Has she already been obsessing over your child? Is your husband the biological father? Asking all this because it based on what you said, it sounds like your MIL has been single for a while and I’m making the assumption that your husband is the biological father of your 1 year old (info provided next to your name). So wouldn’t you know if she would obsess over th... More

  • cocomac
    Sep 02

    Yes biological father and she has been single for a long time. She is hugely obsessive and lives for any and all attention. She works part time and has friends she sees so that’s good. I’m still wondering if she’s actually holding back dating due to what my husband said. Eventually her other son will move out.. and she could get lonely.. I guess it’s. A Lesson learned. If I was her. I would be... More

I have no patience

I have no patience! My son is seven years old and in the second grade and I find myself constantly yelling at him, sometimes even screaming and I absolutely hate it. I grew up with parents that yelled and screamed at my siblings and myself. I never wanted to be that parent. It is so incredibly frustrating to communicate with an extremely intelligent child and have them act clueless or “stupid “... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 30

    So I remember my oldest brother in a similar situation... my mom ended up hiring a tutor for him and doing a reward/punish system for his grades. Below average - something gets taken away for the summer. Average - nothing happens. Above average - he gets a treat. I remember talking to him about it once, because he had a tutor all the way until he got to high school. And he told me that he just ... More

Vanessa posted in Behavior Aug 25

Every time my toddler throws a tantrum at the store I feel like I’ve failed him as a parent.

I try to calm him down but nothing seems to work. I don’t know how to help him or understand what is wrong. He is three years old so trips to the store can be very rough. Any advice will help

  • Alexis
    Aug 26

    Check out discipline without damage book

  • Vanessa
    Aug 28

    Thank you so much for the advice, my son doesn’t speak much yet and is going to speech/behavior therapy because he will hit his head on things. Communication has been hard and when he throws tantrums I’m just trying to protect his head for the most part. These are all great ideas I’ll try anything. He does like to help so I will try to get him involved with the groceries.

Bree posted in Behavior Aug 22

Crying fits at day care

So my step son just started a day care/preschool setting this week. Every morning at drop off and every afternoon at pick up, he has these crying fits that range from controllable to uncontrollable. He will either just cry and say no or he will drop himself on the floor and flail his arms and legs (side note: he only does that fit when his mom drops him off). I’m asking for suggestions on ho... More

  • Nana
    Aug 29

    Be confident yourself (if you believe in the environment and staff) and the hardest thing is don’t linger. Talk ahead of expectations and the fun things he might do. At the end of the day ask him questions like “what was the best/ hardest thing about today. How did you show kindness. How did you show kindness.” Reward when drop off and pick up are positive. Tell him at pick up that (favorite t... More

  • May-Ling
    Aug 29

    our preschool suggested we pick up this book to read with our kids to get them used to some kind of dropoff ritual for consistency: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18419.The_Kissing_Hand

Teddy posted in Education Aug 15

5 yo wants to learn Spanish

Hola! I have a whitey-white-creamy-pasty-alabaster-European California kid (5.5 years old) that badly wants to learn Spanish. Her dad’s family is from Argentina (so I guess she isn’t THAT white, but she definitely got more of my genes 😉) and the lot of them speak Spanish (some of them ONLY speak Spanish.) We also live in San Jose, Ca, and most of the time at playgrounds and such there are pred... More

  • Aida
    Aug 21

    That’s awesome! My son goes to Spanish immersion preschool three times a week. There are lots of pasty kids in his class, and they speak better than he does!! 😊 We are trying to improve our use at home too, to help him get more fluent as Abuela only speaks Spanish and I get in trouble weekly that I should speak more Spanish to him....so we’ve added flash cards to our bed time routine. Keeping ... More

Daughter has never had a father figure

Hey guys, I could really use some advice or a different view point on my situation. My daughter is almost three and I was a single mom most of her life. During her whole life she’s hardly been around men. (Lots of girls in our family) Only my stepdad, my grandpa and her father on the rare occasion. I think because she was hardly around men, she developed a fear of them. So she never really lik... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 13

    I've typed a response to this post several times but have deleted it constantly because I just can't figure out how to word what I want to say. Basically, your boyfriend needs to stop. If she is scared when he gets stern he needs to stop. End of story. I went through this with my boyfriend, the two of them started butting heads a lot. I had it out with him and explained that he needs to... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 13

    Is she really scared of him though if she behaves fine when she’s alone with him? And if she’s behaving with just him... then technically he’s also seen her good side too right? Maybe it’s not fear that’s the issue but really her just being a toddler and testing you both as a team. When you disagree on discipline, do you show it or express that in front of her? Maybe she’s trying to figure o... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Aug 11

Dating after divorce

I have been divorced twice, with one child from each marriage. My kids are 4 and 7. I have been through extensive therapy to determine why I keep choosing the wrong type of personality traits in a partner, as well as my own issues, and after 2 years I believe I’m finally ready to find the right person. I’m very concerned that I won’t be able to find someone who will be willing to handle dealing... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 13

    Thanks, that’s so nice to hear you found someone without even looking! And gives me hope! I just can’t imagine someone willing to deal with 2x the pickups/dropoffs, texts/calls, stress, jealousy, etc. ☹️

  • Anonymous
    Sep 13

    Yes! Don’t lose hope! You will find someone, there’s over a billion guys in this world. There is someone for you & your kids💕 Maybe don’t let him in on all the 411 regarding the dads. I am very open with my fiancé about my ex on everything. But I’ve noticed he does get jealous & insecure sometimes, so I keep some stuff to myself.

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