Multiple Children

Whether twins or siblings, there's no doubt that parenting more than one child can be as challenging as it is rewarding.

This is the place to ask questions and get advice on raising 2 or more children, including sharing space, sibling conflicts, and welcoming a new baby.

Potty training regression tips?

Our second baby arrived 3 weeks early, and our first—who was doing really well potty training having maybe one accident every other day—has suddenly been refusing to go potty and having multiple accidents a day at daycare and home despite the prompting (home and daycare) not changing. Any tips/advice would be appreciated.

  • anonymous mom
    Jan 17

    It’s very normal to experience regressions in potty training, especially when a new sibling comes on the scene or when the child is training early, which from your info it sounds like your firstborn is if they’re between 1-2!! I think one accident every other day is already awesome for a child that age so now it’s all about getting them back there. I would remain consistent with the training ... More

  • Pamela
    Jan 21

    That happened to me!! Right in the middle of potty training the new baby came. I stopped for a couple weeks and put him back in pull-ups and just reminded him to go to the bathroom often then when I was feeling up to it I kept him home from preschool for 3 days straight and made him use the potty every 40min even if he didn’t have to go. He also wasn’t allowed to wear underwear or pull-ups dur... More

Anonymous posted in Sleep Jan 16

Waking too early

My 22 month old is waking up entirely too early. We finally got him sleeping through the night a few weeks ago using the cry it out method. He shares a room with his brother who has been camping out in our room on an air mattress while we tried to get him to sleep through the night. The issue has now changed to waking up too early. This morning it was 4:45 AM. I woke up to hear him talking and ... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 18

    Thanks PK! I thought about one of those but wasn’t sure if he would understand at 2 years old. I’ll definitely be trying that!

  • Amanda
    Jan 18

    I’ve known several 2-yr-olds who have been successful with the “okay to wake” clocks. It’s definitely worth a try!

What are you parents doing with the kids throughout winter? I have 3,4,5 year olds and...

I’m going insane !! Pinterest isn’t working for us, it’s always a fail, my kids always seem bored, and idk what else to do with them. They can read and do math, I’m constantly teaching them, but now they seem to want a break... my husband thinks TV and video games ins the solution... but I can’t have my kids do that all day.

  • B
    Jan 15

    MN momma here 🙋‍♀️ this was me ALL THE TIME and I’d basically lose my mind by the time spring came around. I’m learning to embrace the idea “there’s no bad weather, only bad clothing.” I invested in great winter clothes and I make it a point now to try and get outside. When winter can last 5-6 months it’s just not realistic to stay indoors the whole time. Unless it’s less than about 10° it’s fa... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 16

    @thedadlab and @busytoddler are great for indoor activities!

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Jan 09

Need insights on sibling age gap???

My toddler just turned 2 but I’ve been yearning more to have a baby as each day passed & as my toddler is becoming less of a baby. My husband & I do want a 2nd baby but there were so many things that had happened recently & so many still to look forward to. We just moved to a new city with his new job & we’re saving up hopeful to afford our 1st home. But we’re both in our 30s, I... More

  • EmmaD
    Jan 16

    If you are yearning then go for it, you need to be motivated. I think that’s the bottom line. The rest will be solved. I myself have a 3 year old daughter and still waiting for the yearning feeling to provide her with a sibling but right now my mind says: ”no way, not all over again from scratch” im finally now starting to feel like an independant person again. But everytime she plays with her ... More

  • CJN
    Jan 17

    I'm in the same situation. My son is 2 and we want to move to a bigger home ( preferably build) with that takes a long time. BUT I don't want to go around that it's just one of those big changes where moving while pregnant or with NB will be chaotic but with anything you manage to get through it. I say follow your heart and do what will make you happy.

Newly separated - how to do bedtime with 2 kids?

My husband and I just separated and so the kids (2 yo girl and 4 yo boy) will now be put down by one of us each night. What we used to do was, after the bath they would take together, each of us would take a kid (we would switch kids each night), read that kid 2 books, them sit with him/her until they fell asleep. We had aspirations of reading, kissing goodnight, and leaving the room to have th... More

  • Sara
    Jan 08

    I highly recommend separate bedtimes for different age kids which it sounds like you're doing. Our kids are 4.5 and 1.5 and we always put the 1.5 year old down first. My older one knows that she is special and gets to stay up later than her sister but that part of that privilege means making sure she does not disturb the parent who is putting her sister down. Often my husband has to do bedt... More

  • Ali
    Jan 14

    My husband does shift work so I am on my own at bedtime often. Mine are 3 and 5.5 and I put them to bed at the same time because I prefer a 30 min. Bedtime routine to a 60 min. Routine We read one or two books, then I tuck them each in and sit between their rooms where they can both see me. If this wasn’t an option maybe switch rooms each night or switch rooms every 5 min.? Maybe they could... More

Momof2 posted in Sleep Dec 26

Pacifier

A few weeks ago my two-year-old caught a cold and so sleeping with a pacifier made it difficult for her to breathe. We thought what a great opportunity to have her start weaning off the pacifier! It’s been about 2 weeks Of her being completely weaned but the problem is we are all sleeping a lot less as a result.Her naps are only 45 minutes to an hour now when they used to be two hours. And she... More

  • Momof2
    Dec 27

    She has lots of stuffed animals that we have tried to give her though she’s not attached to anyone in particular. We also gave her a new stuffed animal as a present from the pacifier fairy for giving up her pacifiers. She also has a special blanket she sleeps with

  • Rechelle Jackson
    Jan 02

    Don’t give it back! Just go with it i took my daughter pacifier way before she hit one and now not giving my newborn one at all just keep her distracted

Genesis posted in Behavior Dec 25

My 3 year old won't listen

So, big news, I am expecting! My 4th baby...We are all very excited except, I know it's said that some children act out because they unconsciously think they are being replaced or mommy and daddy won't have time for them..but my 3 year old is taking it to a whole new level of acting out. She won't listen for anything. She has always listened to me when we out and now I can ask her 2... More

  • Anonymous
    Dec 26

    I have a 3 yo, he's almost 4, and at about 3.5 he totally did a 180 and started doing really aggressive things like hitting, kicking and biting us. And there was zero listening or behaving for us going on. I was ready to call a doctor, but none of his care takers were complaining, in fact I was getting compliments from them about how well behaved he was. There were no changes in his routine... More

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Dec 27

    For the independence thing, I mean creating opportunities for her to make choices. Like what shirt to wear, when she wants to leave (2 minutes or 5 minutes from now?), anytime you turn a demand or request into a choice, the better. It will give her a better feeling of power throughout the day and should help her cooperate in the situations where there can’t be a choice. My 3 yr old hates being... More

Ali posted in Behavior Dec 21

Boy mom

I have a 5 y/o and almost 3 y/o boy. Going anywhere with them feels impossible right now. They are so wild and I am usually on my own with them. It is embarrassing, frustrating, and exhausting! We live in a small town so the behavior is on display anytime we go out. Do boys start to grow out of it at some point? It feels like my boys are super extra and most people have one boy or two... More

  • Ali
    Dec 25

    Thank you for the input... I agree that talking about expectations before we go would help. However, my kids would never stay sitting because I told them to. They would pitch a huge fit or get up and run away so I would then have to chase them and leave my other child unattended 🙂☹️😫

  • Trisha
    Jan 02

    I was a single mom to twin boys. Truthfully, when they were under 3, I never took them anywhere myself unless I had one of my parents with me. They were three when I took them to Pizza Hut to eat. I chose an off time, and brought them a Lego to build while they waited. They so enjoyed themselves! I found that it was never a good idea to take them out when they needed to be fed or were tired...... More

Anonymous posted in Technology Dec 17

Tablet?

I’ve been thinking about getting our 2 year old a tablet for Christmas. We are due with twins in January and I was thinking it’d be something special for him to focus on and do/play when we have our hands full, especially at first. My husband isn’t as convinced, says he’s too little and it’s unnecessary.... of course I’d control what’s on it and when he can use it, and even try and do some educ... More

  • Anonymous
    Dec 20

    I think that there's a lot of messaging out there that can induce "parent guilt" - things like shaming the use of tablets and technology for kids of certain (or all) ages. But I think that you need to be gentle with yourself sometimes (as all parents do). Sometimes you just need a momentary break and allowing 20 minutes on a tablet can give you just that. I know a lot of parents w... More

  • Genesis
    Dec 25

    When I met my husband, we each had young kids from a previous marriage. I was not completely convinced but at the end it is a nice way for kids to learn. My personal favorite tablet is a Samsung because it has kids mode already installed on it and you can see everything they do! You can control their playtime, apps installed, games played, (which by the way I love the app "fingerpaint"... More

Anonymous posted in Babywearing Dec 12

How do I leave the house?!

I have a 2yo still naps religiously and a 4mo who we are just starting to get on a regular nap schedule. I am just wondering how other parents in this situation found success in leaving the house for errands, appointments, etc. I feel a bit trapped in the house (it's also winter in New England) and don't know how to go about doing this. Maybe I just need to give it some time? I'm no... More

  • Kieli
    Dec 13

    I just go ... mornings are usually busy, my baby wakes up early and my toddler sleeps in. So after my baby goes down for her morning nap, I get my toddler ready and fed. Then after the baby wakes I get her dressed and then leave immediately. I try not to be out of the house for more than an hour or two tops, my baby gets cranky when she’s in the car seat for too long. My toddler has not been wa... More

  • Jennie
    Dec 16

    I have 5 kids under 9 so trust me when I say I've been working around nap schedules for years. Lol At 4 months, the nap schedule isn't totally consistent yet so don't kill yourself over it but in the next couple months this is what I usually do... errands/park/library etc. are done in the morning. Baby naps in stroller or in carrier. We get home by lunch time, or plan to eat out/pa... More

Anonymous posted in Multiple Children Dec 03

Transition Tips From 1 To 2 Kids

I'm 21 weeks pregnant with our second baby boy and our first-born is 2. I keep hearing the transition from 1 to 2 kids is a lot harder than going from 0 to 1 kid. Please share tips or experiences on how to make the transition easier and/or encouraging words. I'm a little nervous since I experienced PPD with my first.

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Dec 07

    So I have 4 kids, my first two kids were 17 months apart and then I have 20 and 21 Months age gaps between the others. My personal experience was that 0 to 1 kid was the hardest. There are challenges with having them close together but I always felt like I more calmly could find solutions for the crying baby that the first time around and knew how to navigate the lack of sleep better. I recom... More

  • Bonni
    Jan 21

    Love all these ideas already posted. I would add that having a postpartum plan - just as you would a birth plan - is helpful. Ex. having in place who/what/how re: meal prep, baby laundry, toddler care, your emotional and physical care, errand-runs, etc... Lining up family, friends or a postpartum doula ahead of time can help you relax now. Good luck!

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Dec 02

Another baby

Me and my boyfriend is thinking about having another baby. My son is two and will be three in July. How is it with two children. Is it hard or stressful. Can it be easy? Feel free to give me some advice. Thanks

  • Anonymous
    Dec 02

    My son now is a good kid so we will see

  • Anonymous
    Dec 04

    Going from 1 kid to 2 is very different. It is definitely more difficult in my opinion however, I love having 2 kids around the same age! They play together and help each other out.

Jackie posted in Holidays Nov 30

Christmas gift fairness

I have a 10 year old step son and an 18 month old daughter and I’m not sure how to make gifting fair between the two. Our 10 year old put a list together and all of his items are anywhere from $70-$300!!! He doesn’t play with any toys and only likes video games!! Ugh I blame my husband for that one. At this age do you not worry about making sure they each get the same amount in dollar wise or ... More

  • Sara
    Dec 01

    I definitely wouldn’t worry about making things fair. Your 18 month old will have no clue and won’t care. Spend on the 10 year old whatever you’re comfortable spending. If you want to get everything on the list great but the list is not an obligation to get all those items! As far as the 18 month old, putting money away in savings is a wonderful idea if you can afford it. They’re happy unwrappi... More

  • Anonymous
    Dec 01

    How it went for me growing up is that we made a list, and then we got some of the items. You dont get the whole list. But you do spend the same amount in money.

Jenny posted in Newborns Nov 27

Bedtime Routine Ideas

Hello all! Currently all my children ages 5,3, and newborn are sharing a room with each other. My 5 yr old and 3 year old have rare sleeping issues that could be disturbing to the newborn (5 year old sleep walks/talks and 3 year old fights sleep due to fear of dark that flares up) Our nighttime routine is pretty solid. Dinner, clean up time, bath/ book time and then bed. I try to get them in... More

Anonymous posted in Multiple Children Nov 21

Pregnant with second...more anxious than excited.

I’m 10 weeks pregnant with my second child. I’m so, so grateful to be pregnant - although I feel much more nervous than excited right now. Maybe because I know what to expect and it’s gonna be crazy? 😂 Looking for any reassuring experiences that you may have had when you were pregnant with your second?

  • Anna
    Nov 27

    Honestly, two has been great. My first had a hard transition when the second was born, but it’s really been fine on the whole. They get used to each other. The biggest challenge has been my older one pushing my younger one around. I’m now expecting #3, and terrified about that! But I think everything just ends up eventually falling into a rhythm. You got this!!

  • Melissa
    Dec 06

    Every baby is different so stay positive and embrace motherhood! Your little one is going to love having a sibling. It can be very sad when your child gets to an age and wants a sibling and you can no longer have children ! Congratulations on your blessing!!!!

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Nov 15

Third child

I have two young kids and thought I was done, but now the kids are a little older I want a third. I can’t shake the feeling. Maybe because I feel that my kids are more independent now.. I don’t know if there is something in the water but my baby fever is going wild. has anyone experience this? my husband says maybe we can lol

  • Aye
    Nov 16

    Yes! My youngest is only 10 months lol and my other is 20 months. After I buy a house and have a good career though so that way I can plan an actual nursery room and baby shower etc and enjoy my kids and do more with them. Also I have two girls so I’d like to try for a boy, I’m glad your husband is on board though

  • Christina
    Nov 19

    Careful! This is how I got twins! We thought let’s try for one more! God had other plans!

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Nov 10

Mamas. I need your complete honesty.

Multiple kids. And by multiple I mean two.... What are your thoughts. I love the idea of my little have a sibling. But other than that, I feel like my anxiety will multiply, again! What are you pros and cons. And yes. I know. This is theeeee weeiirrddest post. And I wouldn’t have to post here if I for sure wanted another. But I’m going back and forth honestly.

  • Anonymous
    Nov 15

    I have twins and it was SO hard in the beginning but now they just play all the time! Sometimes, I think omg ... if they didn’t have each other I’d have to be sitting on the floor playing dollhouse all day. 😂🤦‍♀️ That to me sound terrible. On the negative side ... there is twice as many things to lug around twice as many car seats to buckle, twice as much to pay for. But I love it anyway ... if... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 07

    I have decided I am going to stick with the one. Now this is completely 100% your decision, and I am giving you my opinion. You mentioned anxiety and this is one of the reasons I am choosing to stick with the one Ic had post partum depression really bad, and sometimes the anxiety had me crying in a corner. I love the idea of giving my lo all the live and attention, and have joined a play group ... More

Liza M. posted in Sleep Nov 09

Trouble with PM naps...

I am a SAHM with a 2yo (who has always been champion napper/sleeper) and an almost 3 month old. I am struggling with (amongst other things) getting the 3mo on some sort of schedule. I COMPLETELY realize she is still very young and is adjusting to being alive but I feel like I cannot give her sleep schedule the focus it needs with a toddler running around. Currently, she is exclusively BF but I... More

  • Rebecca
    Nov 11

    Check out the book babywise. It really helped me set up a schedule. Is your toddler nap at all ? Have quiet time ? Those are times baby can also nap. Setting up eating and nap schedule is important and can happen.

  • Lindsey
    Nov 12

    Oh, Mama, YOU sound tired! Way to keep up with both babies. You're trying hard. I had a similar issue with my second. Overtired but struggling with a nap schedule. I did have to sleep train - which also meant training myself to be specific about when I put him down and got him up. There was some crying (by both be AND I) but I made sure he was fed and comfy so that even if he did cry I kne... More

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Nov 09

Mom guilt

I’m 30 weeks pregnant with twins, needless to say I’m exhausted and in pain. I also have a 2 year old, and lately we’ve been watching WAY more movies than I ever wanted for a two year old. I feel like we’re just surviving, I feel guilty 😞

  • courtney
    Nov 12

    i’m 34 weeks pregnant with one baby. i can’t imagine being pregnant with twins AND taking care of a 2 year old. in my opinion, what matters at the end of the day, is that your kids are loved, healthy and alive. you’re tired and in pain.. there’s no need for you to stress yourself out more than you need to. you’re doing great ❤️

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Nov 12

    Do not feel guilty. I have 4 kids, 5 and under so I’ve been pregnant with toddlers a lot (no twins). I spent a lot of time feeling guilty about that. But I look back and it was fine. The alternative was often me yelling or them crying because I was exhausted and they were toddlers. Can’t be better than tv. Positive memories is best. Good luck!!

Anonymous posted in Siblings Nov 05

Mom guilt

Ever since my first daughter was born 2.5 years ago she has been the center of attention. Everything that she does, and learns is celebrated by both my husband’s family and mine. This weekend We welcomed our second daughter to the world but our first born has been so visibly unhappy, I don’t know what to do. First of all she has been very distant towards me, and the times she actually wants any... More

  • Jessica
    Nov 07

    Congratulations on your new baby! My children are the same ages apart and are now 4 and almost 2. It takes time for sure but what helped me was to remember that one of the best gifts you can give a child is a sibling. There will never be another person who will have the same shared experience growing up. They will form a bond while learning from and teaching each other. They will depend on eac... More

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