Reply to Lost identity

It IS normal but it isn’t ok! As in this is a universal experience but it shouldn’t be. Patriarchal society penalizes mothers. I feel your pain. Acutely. But have faith: COMMUNITY changes everything!! After a decade of my ex making all the big choices for us and moving me and the kids from place to place as he lived his life, I learned to court women. I started looking at making friends like dating sans sex. It’s the same thing! Like you, I was a young mom (3 kids by 25) and the circumstances of my marriage meant I didn’t have college friends around or a profesh community. It was just me and the kids doing our awesome exhausting thing for about 10 years. I was desperately lonely. What works for me: going to places my kids and I love and creeping on parents/kids I want to know and forcing myself to make the first move. I’ve made real. lasting. connections. this way. Sometimes it takes me a couple visits to a library group to work up the courage to approach a parent. Sometimes I just got for it. It’s not always a new bff but even one cool convo with a babe of a mom feeds my soul. You got this!💪