Vee

2nd birthday party??

So my boyfriend and I are in the midst of house hunting and our little ones 2nd birthday party is coming up in two months. I'm not sure if it's the stress of life or maybe because I'm a crappy mom :/ but I have ZERO motivation to throw him a birthday party :/ Last year for his 1st birthday party, around this time I had the theme and decorations picked out! I was super excited probably because it was his 1st birthday party. However, for this year I considered doing it at like a chuck e cheese but my boyfriends family is HUGE. I mean, like 15 aunts and uncles plus their kids plus their kids kids! Sooo that would be extremely pricey per child. And in his culture, it's extremely rude to invite one family and not the other... Our apartment is somewhat big and if we did it at home, we'd only be inviting a select amount of people due to the amount of space , maybe like 5-7 kids tops with their parents but I don't want to have to host it and entertain people and have kids running around touching everything with their pizza hands like last year. So my question for you mommas out there, or dads, is it just me being a pretty terrible mom for not having the motivation of wanting to throw my son a birthday party or is this pretty normal? Because I feel pretty bad for not wanting to do anything for his big day. And yes I know he is only turning 2 but I grew up in a home where my birthdays were celebrated year after year.

  • Beverly Vantine
    Sep 05

    I say just go to the park, invite a few of his friends. Explain to the parents that you're house hunting so can't do much, but still wanted a special day for him. Bring some light picnic snacks. Or maybe just invite a few people to a pizza buffet (cause what kid doesn't love pizza) and talk to management to see if you can bring in a cake. BAM, low cost, no decorations, low stress, and you still did something.

  • Sarah
    Sep 05

    You are not a bad mom no matter what you decide to do! Like others, we did a party at two different local parks with a playground for my daughter’s 2nd and 3rd birthdays. We did donut theme one year and had it on the morning. We made iced coffee for the adults. The kids play, so I didn’t have to organize games or crafts. The next year we did it later in the morning and ate some food and cake. It was a lot of fun and much easier than a big blowout.

  • Sarah
    Sep 05

    My daughter is about to turn 3 and she KNOWS her birthday is coming. She has been inviting people to her party probably 6 months before we ever discussed if we’d have a party. But last year, at two, she had no concept of what a birthday was. My point being, go ahead and skip two. At that point it’s really more for you, so if it’s to stressful right now, don’t feel guilty. Not a bad mom!

  • Tracy
    Sep 05

    Didn’t throw our son a big birthday this year for his second birthday. We had a small family birthday at my dad’s house the weekend before minus my husband who was traveling. Didn’t do anything special when at my in-laws place on his birthday (though there were fireworks because his birthday is July 4), so I think you’re okay. It seems to be common to do a big 1yr birthday then a small one for the second.

  • Karina
    Sep 05

    Not a bad mom at all! You’re a a great mom for caring if anything. I also had a huge first birthday for our son, but decided we didn’t want that for his second because it’s too stressful and expensive. For his 2nd birthday we went to the aquarium with two friends whose kids were also turning 2. He had a blast with them and when we got home we sung happy birthday and ate cake that I had baked him. It was perfect!

  • Maria
    Sep 05

    We didn't do a big party this year for our son's 2nd birthday either, mostly because we were traveling around that time and we decided to just have the visit with family be the fun birthday event. Whatever you choose to do, it's absolutely okay. I agree with the park and potluck ideas if you absolutely feel the pressure, but don't worry if you have a smaller scale gathering, or even none at all. Your kid will be better off having a mom who feels good than having a stressed one over a party they didn't understand and don't need.

  • Lauren
    Sep 05

    Everyone is saying park- but since you’ll probably be indoors... Have a celebration at an ice cream shop or local dessert place. We also have too small of a house and too large a family so we totally get it. Over the holiday weekend we had different ‘party’s’ around town to try and accommodate for everyone (ugh). The best one ended up to be at a donut shop that had ample seating. Brought some balloons and a candle, her friends ran around (she just sat there- she’s not walking yet) You can stick a candle in anything and your baby isn’t going to know the difference!

  • Stephanie
    Sep 05

    My little one is turning 2 and I don’t think we’re planing a party. I want to and at the same time I’m done with it just being us. We’re new to our area so we don’t know a lot of people anyway. I think 3rd will be a bigger party deal for him anyway 🤷‍♀️

  • Rody the donkey
    Sep 05

    Maybe ask the family for help. Do a potluck style party. Im saying because I come from one of these families, well half of my family and it’s these family times I miss.. You don’t have enough room in your apartment, see how much it is to rent the party room at the apartment complex. Better yet from Parks and Recreation. Your town or a nearby town should have some nice in door areas for a very reasonable price. At this age it’s really not for the kid, but for the people who love him/her.

  • Katherine
    Sep 05

    Not a bad mom! I come from a big family and hate the idea of doing a big birthday party. I much prefer taking my kid for an "experience," like a theme park or some other activity. If I tell people up ahead that we have this plan, it's kind of an out to do any sort of party. ;) However, if there is the pressure of having a party, a potluck is a great idea, as Rody suggested.

  • Cassandra
    Sep 05

    You're not a terrible mom! For our daughters 2nd, we had a small group of family members (godparents and their kids, grandma, me and hubby) because we were living in a smaller apartment. For her 3rd birthday we didn't even have a party, just cake and presents at my uncles house with a handful of family (we had just moved to another state). And for her 4th this year it's chuck e cheese, because she just started preschool and it's not cost effective to invite the whole class and family, plus we haven't been in our new house a year and I just wasn't in the hosting mood. We have to get to a point where we're okay if it's not always picture perfect. Do what you're comfortable doing and know it's okay if a few people are upset, we can't please everyone.

  • Tiffany
    Sep 05

    We just had my son's birthday. My parents were out of town, and my husband has a big family also. We only invited my MIL. We kinda think birthday parties at this age are more for celebrating that we (the parents) made it through the year because he won't remember it and doesn't have real friends yet. We had (dad's favorite because we know who's really going to be eating these) cupcakes at home for snack time, gave son a balloon, and a bunch of small presents for him to unwrap. After play time, we went out to dinner and splurged on ourselves. It was great. My son's favorite thing was the balloon and he enjoyed eating some of his favorite things at dinner. Next year we'll do a real party, when he has playmates that really play together, and not not just play in the same room kind of thing.

  • Clare
    Sep 05

    I think it sucks that society is making you think you're a bad parent for not throwing your child a blowout party. Do whatever makes sense for you budget and stress-wise. You're still a good parent even if it's just a special dessert and a card!

  • JP
    Sep 05

    You know what’s best for your kids and your family. In our family, we only do parties on milestones. In other years, it’s usually dinner with the family. For the older kids, they get to pick the place and bring friends over. There’s always cake and balloons at home.

  • Rachelle
    Sep 06

    I would just have the birthday at the park. Make it a pot luck where everyone who wants to come brings chips or sodas or something. No planning just a time and place.

  • Rachelle
    Sep 06

    I recommended the park but if it’s a November birthday party you need to be indoors. M sons birthday is in the end of November as well. For his first bit party we had a swimming party for my close family aunts uncles and cousins. We ate at my aunts house then rented a room at the local hotel so we could take over their indoor pool.

  • Mickey
    Sep 06

    There are people who only do them at certain age milestones 1,3,5,10,13,16,18,21 or when they can afford them. My husband look at me like im crazy when I was spending what I did. Your son is two find a place for 7 and under and have only those kids. My husband and I both have large families but I only choose places 7 n under that the parent can bring that age specific child to play.

  • Mandy
    Sep 08

    We only did a family party for the family. Nobody further than immediate family on both sides. Granted depending on how big your family is even that can be daunting. My older sister always plans huge parties for her grandson (my nephew) and while it’s nice to have them if you have the money or want to then okay but unless a milestone birthday or they get older and have friends we will be doing just the family.

  • Maryna
    Tuesday

    We had a two-days trip to the nearby city for the 2d birthday, no parties, great time together :)

  • Kate
    Thursday

    We did the party for the 1st bday and this year for 2nd we just invited family to join us at a theme park with rides. It was a no pressure thing, just something we wanted to do over the summer anyway so we made it the birthday thing. I felt like next year at 3 our daughter might be more aware of birthday parties so we thought we’d have fun but save money this year.