Thanks New Dad, it seems my husband and you are on the same page about medications, lol. I don’t think he wants to be more active/involved as we already take shifts, but I do think he is such a good dad to the first that he wants to be able to be the same kind of father to the second. I think that he doesn’t remember how hard it was with the first because he kind of took the lead for me-he had to because I was so overwhelmed. I think he saw how quickly she and I bonded and maybe got a little intimidated because it’s easier for me to get her to stop crying, and she often has more crying fits with him (I think it’s how he holds her to feed, she doesn’t seem to love it, but I don’t want to tell him and seem like I’m criticizing). I don’t like that he has done things with the second out of frustration that he never would have done with the first, like getting so angry he told her to “shut up” once she started crying, and leaving her to “cry it out” for a few minutes when I was there. I get if you need a minute to step away, but it’s completely unnecessary if the other spouse is there. Anyway I will keep trying to talk to him. I tried something different last night that seemed to help-I stayed up a little longer to put her down for another change/eat/sleep cycle just before he came in so he didn’t have to do that last part and that she would sleep a little more when he came in. I’m just trying to make it easier for everyone, so he is less stressed and so am I.
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