Reply to Custody

Been in this same situation. My daughters father and I were never married and we broke up when I was 6 months pregnant because of his anger issues, verbally abusive. He was never around after we broke up not at the birth and not on the birth certificate. A few months after she was born he wanted to see her, I allowed him to by coming over to my place when other people were around so there wouldn’t be a chance for him to cause a scene. He then served me court papers to get custody. I got a lawyer, since I have no idea how the court system worked. It’s a long process, we first had to go to an orientation about custody, we then had to go to a county mandated mediation, where we spoke about how we felt about each other, we made a patenting plan and since the court likes proof for things, it’s all just she said he said to them. So it’s hard to state a case. They made him do 60 hours of anger management classes. And same for co parenting classes. In the beginning the judge ordered supervised visitation at a public place, so we met at the mall play place and he got to spend time with her while I watched for a few hours. Then after a few months it changed to unsupervised visits and he got to take her to his house for 6 hours during the day. 6 months after that it was overnight visits, and he only gets her 3 weekends a month. The rest of the time she is with me. She is 3 years old now, and every time she gets back from his house I always ask her if she had fun, was anyone mean to her, etc. I am always going to worry about her, it’s our motherly instinct, and she loves going to visit him. So I have to put our past relationship aside and be positive for her. I hope it all works out for you in the long run, 💕💕💕