Reply to New mom after 23 years

Congrats! Also, I have [i think] a slightly different take on what one of the above posters mentioned. Definitely agree that both your kids need to understand that they are both your kids and that both should treat each other kindly and fairly. But I would suggest adjusting (loosening) expectations of them having a 'traditional' sibling relationship. They may, but they also may not -- and that's okay too, because, honestly, they didn't grow up with other another. It might not look like sibling-sibling; it might look more like uncle/nephew or older cousin/younger cousin, and that's ubderstandable with the age difference. Forcing it will hurt, not help, and there's also no need. Often, kids with large age gaps will end up bonding when they're both older/adults. In short, as they grow, step in to help and motivate a positive relationship between them, but don't force it. Give them both a bit more space to negotiate their relationship because it'll need to be something that works for both of them.