I agree with Amanda and would say the same thing. Ive been a nanny and i had one child who wasnt eating unless spoon fed she was about 4. I told her im not doing that and she can sit there until she ate. Once she realized i wasnt backing down like her parents then she ate it. Kids will not starve themselves! You just have to be consistent and send out the same messages not mixed messages. So if you start getting him to feed himself dont go back to feeding him cause thats a mixed message then they play on it knowing youll feed him. If he needs help thats different, maybe start with pre loading forks and spoons. My little one is feeding himself pre loaded forks he hasnt quite got the spoon down with food on it but can get it in his mouth. Ive always given him a spoon at meals (he just chewed it to begin with) im going to start giving him free rain with a spoon soon for yogurt oatmeal etc. Does your son feed himself finger foods with his fingers? Thats another way to go give him foods that are easily picked up and let him do it then get him to use cutlery.
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