So I remember my oldest brother in a similar situation... my mom ended up hiring a tutor for him and doing a reward/punish system for his grades. Below average - something gets taken away for the summer. Average - nothing happens. Above average - he gets a treat. I remember talking to him about it once, because he had a tutor all the way until he got to high school. And he told me that he just didn’t like my mom’s teaching style and he would stress out under her watch. My mom was a yeller too. I never got a tutor but I remember feeling that same stress. I’m the third child though so I think by the time my mom got to me to help with school, she had learned how to be more patient. Another thing that my brother started doing too was ignoring my mom. He flat out told her once that she always seems to be yelling at him so he tunes her out. Like schoolwork, patience takes time and work to develop. You need to find someway to release that tension. Whether it be a quick jog around the house, a stress ball, meditation or some recitation of words of value, listening to music, playing a musical instrument, screaming into a pillow... different things work for different people. I know this is all easier said than done... but you need something more than deep breaths and talking yourself through things.
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