8 year old who thinks that whenever something gets hard she can quit.

I have an 8 year old who thinks that whenever something gets hard she can quit. She wanted to learn the dance to a song and after watching a video she got mad and said it was too hard. I’ve told her that not everything in life will be handed to her and she has to work for things she wants. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get her to work hard for things?

  • Daniel
    Oct 10

    I think it’s the age my 7 almost 8 year old is the same way. It’s even harder when it comes to homework.

  • Danni
    Oct 10

    I hope so. And same with homework lately. She has to remember a verse type thing every week and usually she is really good at it and picks it up fast but this week was fall break so she didn’t have school Monday or Tuesday so we had to really study today and she had a full breakdown crying and saying that it’s too hard and she couldn’t remember it. I just walked away and told her that when she was done crying to read over it and come get me when she can say it confidently. I really hope I’m not being to hard on her but I don’t really know what to do about it.

  • Anonymous
    Oct 10

    That age is tough. Is it possible she is wanting to quit things because of someone being mean in an activity or at school? I totally get your frustration. If she is wanting to quit something she has made a commitment to like a team sport or something I can totally understand as a parent making her stay in it and stick with what she started. Maybe give her small things that she can accomplish and feel good about like running down and back the street under a certain time. Reward her with your praise and use that as a teaching method about following through and accomplishing something

  • Christa
    Oct 10

    You may want to have a listen to “Try” by Dolly Parton. It’s a good song for your 8 yr old to listen to. It’s words are easy for her to get and take in. Maybe have a reward system, or explain that things worth having we have to work for. Is it something to do with her learning style? Is she a visual or an oral learner?! Maybe ask her why she’s getting so frustrated, and what would make it easier? Is it becoming a chore to do homework?! Maybe give her a way after she gets home from school to burn off steam and play, or refocus... then have her only work for short periods of time on school work or whatever it is she’s trying to learn, then have her break and come back to it for another 15-20 minutes... I don’t know if this helps, I tutored kids while I was getting my masters and now being a mommy and learning tricks for homeschooling my little guy it may be helpful...! Good luck

  • Erin
    Oct 10

    It is certainly the age. It’s a HUGE jump at that grade level because from here on out everything will be more difficult. Schools tend to focus more on pumping out curriculum rather than making learning fun in previous grades. While she does need to get her work done (and she is old enough to understand that) it doesn’t help anyone if she is in full breakdown mode. Help her identify her emotional response to failure and normalize it. Explain to her (when she is calm) that it is perfectly natural to want to quit things that are difficult. Try to help her identify when she gets a little bit frustrated that she can take a moment for herself to calm down and ask for help before it turns into a full blown meltdown. Then you can help her respond to her feelings and move on rather than react to a full blown meltdown which can take a lot longer to extinguish.

  • Anonymous
    Oct 11

    With the not being able to remember the verse, I think it's be better to comfort her rather than walk away. Tell her to keep trying and even if she can't remember it she tried hard to and should be proud herself.