Posted in Behavior, Grade Schoolers, Big Kids

9 year old attitude

Anonymous

I have and 9 year old daughter and a 14 month old son. Lately they have both been going through changes but I am struggling to figure out what to do. My daughter has been having more and more attitude issues. I feel like I have tried everything from sitting down and talking, giving more alone time with me, waiting for it to pass and taking things and privileges away. I feel like nothing is working to change it. She doesn’t want to tell me what’s wrong especially when I can’t think of what started it. I need help trying to figure out how to get both of us past this and not have either of us continue to get stressed out about it.

  • Cassi
    Oct 14, 2018

    This probably sounds like more than what you would like to do because I’m sure that you’re doing an amazing job, but have you tried therapy? Some kids communicate better with someone who isn’t mom or dad. I’ve got my kids in therapy and it’s really made a huge difference, not only in their behaviors but in how I’m learning to communicate with them. We all learn differently so I have to handle situations differently for each of my 3 kids. Being a parent is hard sometimes but it’s easier if you have extra tools in your belt.

  • Tk
    Oct 23, 2018

    Wow. I read this and the article attached. I can relate with my newly 5 year old. The only advice I can give is to have patience.

  • Monica
    Nov 19, 2018

    I still have little kids, so I haven't been through this. With my kids, though, I try to remind myself that they don't usually act out unless there is a problem (hungry, tired, sick, frustrated, etc.) I realize the list of problems that are possible could be endless as they grow, but try coming from a place of compassion first. I'd even question if someone is being inappropriate with them or if puberty is starting. If you can't find any problem, know that many children find it necessary to push others away in order to find themselves. Consider it positive sign of growth, but still set rules and stay consistent. Adults can have bad days, but we still have societal norms and laws to follow and parents need to enforce that behavior. Good luck.

  • Kari Karma
    Dec 09, 2018

    My son is finally coming out of the “emo” boohoo stage after 2 long years of hearing it’s a phase I am getting my happy son back. I suggest to stay aware and ask questions seem concerned as you are clearly but don’t let her forget that even if she acts like she hates it give that love because that’s what they want is attention and screaming at them is attention but it’s not the right attention and I did that for the first year because I wasn’t used to the kid he turned into overnight and then I started approaching it very kindly and loving on him and being sensitive to his so called worries or life problems with his gf and it seemed to help for a while we never even said I love you before we left the house and we used to always do that and somehow it got brought to my attention and I felt horrible because I didn’t even notice it but I apologized and started constantly saying it because I was so used to him always saying at first because he was mama’s boy and now he’s some kid that likes to wear black and play crazy music. Now you start to listen to the old music as well again and dressing differently with polo shirts instead of slayer shirt so it is a phase it’s just hard to get through it