Posted in Behavior, Multiple Children, Toddlers

A toddler and a newborn

I gave birth to my second child 17 days ago and my first is 2 and a half years. I barely have friends or family where i live to help which means i do everything by myself ( unless husband is home). My newborn is taking most of the attention which leaves little time for my toddler. She started to act differently and i can feel her but I can’t divide myself to two people. How do you explain to a toddler that newborns need a lot of help 😞

  • E
    Apr 27

    If you are ok with TV then Daniel Tiger has a bunch of episodes about gaining a sibling and the change in family dynamics.

  • Aje
    Apr 27

    I can sympathize in a way. I don’t have much help. I’ll be having twins a month before my son turns 2. They will be premature and because of a medical problem this time around I’ll need a c section. I will likely be in the hospital a few weeks before the surgery. My husband is planning to take family leave and vacation time but he’ll have to start when I’m in the hospital so I won’t get much help later. I don’t know what to say but just letting you know you’re not alone. My sister had her second when her first was 16 months and she had her help a lot and sat with them together. I know a 2.5 is a different story though.

  • Anonymous
    Apr 30

    Do you have a good carrier? I know new borns are super complicated and you’re always guessing what the heck they need! But putting baby in a carrier can be super helpful, baby usually will fall asleep and at least be content with a familiar montion for a while so you can play at the park for even 20 minutes with your toddler or bake some cupcakes. It is so hard, but it will get easier

  • Jennie
    May 02

    One thing I learned when I had my 3rd was that toddlers can grasp taking turns. So when you're feeding the baby, and big sister wants something you say "It's Baby's turn right now, I'll help you in a minute" and more importantly, when you're helping big Sis, and baby cries, you say "Hang on Baby, I'm helping Big Sis right now. It'll be your turn in a minute". It's ok if you finish fixing the snack or brushing her hair or whatever for a minute while baby safety cries in a swing or something. I know your mom alarm goes off and you want to rush, but try to just focus on finishing what you were doing for your oldest. Also try to give Big Sis jobs (bringing the wipes to you during changes, picking out the hair bow) and make her a really important part of it. We say, "Big Siblings help, teach and protect" so you might say "Mommy has to go pee pee, can you help by showing baby all your princess dolls and teaching her their names?" Big important sister... baby learning language development and mommy gets to pee 😂

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    May 03

    Are you nursing? Regardless of how you are feeding, try feeding baby while playing with the toddler. This means making yourself uncomfortable by sitting on the ground and maybe using a pillow or two under your arms to help balance baby so you have a free hand to play legos, hold a book open, etc. I had my first two kids 17 months apart, and my second and third and 20 months apart, and I have no family that lives within 8 hours of me. The best tips I can recommend are to be creative in including your older child during feedings and to let the house be a mess. Spend that down time when baby is napping (ok, maybe 1/3 of it), with your toddler instead of trying to be productive. Hang in there! It ain’t easy but you can do it.

  • Kerry
    May 06

    Maybe get her involved if she's a good helper. Send her on little errands all over the house. Have her get the diaper, or the baby powder. Have her sprinkle a little on by herself. Stuff like that. Just a thought.