Posted in Behavior, Toddlers

Advice on how to get my 18 mo toddler to stop biting/ hitting/ and scratching me

Every time something doesn’t go my daughters way she will try to attack me, I don’t understand why because I tell her often to not hit and I try and explain to her it’s mean. No one she’s constantly around displays that type of behavior or anything either. I don’t want to start putting her in time out bc she doesn’t really know what it means. If I put her down for a nap she will kick me, or scratch me. If I’m holding her sometimes she’ll just hit me in the face out of nowhere, and sometimes I’ll go in to give her kisses and she’ll grab both sides of my face and dig her nails into me. I do not know what to do to get her to stop. And when I try and tell her no she will laugh at me. I’m a first time mom so this might be a silly question but, I need some advice. People often ask how I got this bruise or this scratch and I don’t want to keep saying my toddler beats me up 😅

  • Jenn
    Aug 05

    Have you tried time out? When I nannied, we started 1 of the kids in time out around that age because she was doing things she knew was wrong. We had specific spot that she would go, and she had to sit there for 30 secs-1min. Then we would get down on her level and explain why she was there and have her apologize/hug or kiss. The biggest thing is not engaging in conversation during the time out. She will get out repeatedly, but you just get her and put her back, without talking, and restart the timer. Honestly, we gently held her there with our foot (looking away from her) until the time was up. It's a good way to start teaching her what is right and wrong and that doing things like hitting or scratching won't get you additional attention.

  • Elizabeth
    Aug 05

    I’ll try it that way, sometimes she will stand in a chair and smile at me when I look her way because she knows what she is doing. Thank you!

  • PK
    Aug 05

    My son bit me really hard around 13 months old. It caught me by surprise and I actually started to cry a little. I kid you not, he saw me crying and that was the end of it. Scratching... I keep my son’s nails pretty short. When I do get scratched, it’s just a reminder for me to trim them again. Hitting - I grab his hands and arms and hold them together tightly and tell him no hitting. If we are out and I’m ok with leaving (but he doesn’t want to leave), I will give him a warning and say that if he hits again that we will leave. And we also do timeouts.

  • Anonymous
    Aug 07

    My son is a lot like your daughter. He started biting around 14 months. He only did it twice to a kid, but then he focused his biting, hitting, kicking on his parents. After he bit for the first time I started doing little 'time outs' where I would move him away from what we were doing and held him while repeating 'no bite'. This stopped him from biting other kids, but not us. He continued to bite us until he was 2.5. the thing is, he would also do it when he was over stimulated. He would have our full attention and would be laughing and running around then just chomp down on one of us. It was so frustrating! You just have to keep consistent about telling them it's wrong, and hope they grow out of it sooner rather than later. And it will feel like they aren't listening, but I watch him at daycare sometimes and I have seen him get hit or pushed down and he doesn't retaliate, he may tell at them but then he walks away, so I know he's getting the general idea behind being a descent human being 😂 You could also try walking away from her and just say mommy isn't going to give you attention when you hurt her. Some kids are just looking for attention whether it's positive or negative