Anonymous

Almost mom worried about not loving babies

I’m due with my first in a few weeks and starting to get worried about how I’ll survive the newborn/baby phase. My husband and I LOVE toddlers and always knew we wanted kids, but we’re just not “baby people”. I know some people are (my best friend is also due in a few weeks and melts every time she sees a baby - I wish I felt the same way). I’m especially worried because my husband only gets two weeks of leave and then I’ll be on my leave for about two months before I go back to work. Feeling a bit overwhelmed/nervous as it gets closer to the big day... Was anyone else like this pre kids? Did you end up feeling differently about your own baby, or did you just get through it and wait for it to get more fun/interesting when they can talk/have personalities? Would love any thoughts/advice!

  • Grace
    Mar 29

    You and your baby will be on a even playing field getting to know each other and learning from each other the first few months. They eat and sleep a lot , so much of the day is consumed by that. You will know what’s best for you and your baby. Don’t compare yourself to other mothers and their kids. One thing we all have is “mom guilt” are we doing things right? comparing ourselves etc. You’ll be fine, you’ll get through it. It doesn’t last forever and you’ll realize how fast time is going by.

  • Anonymous
    Mar 29

    I was also not a baby person nor wanted kids. I now have a 7.5 month baby girl. It changes when it’s your own child. However newborn stage was extremely difficult and I would not wanna go through that again. This stage is even harder. I’m one and done. Lol I cannot wait till she’s older lol.

  • Marlon
    Mar 29

    I promise you your brain completely changes after having a baby. You're not the same human. You will absolutely love and protect your baby to death. I promise

  • Anonymous
    Mar 29

    I thought I liked babies before my first, but quickly realized I didn’t “know” babies. I loved her immediately, but also felt a bit out of sorts/overwhelmed at first. For me, everything changed when she smiled at me (the first genuine, not gas) smile. I say this because I was home by myself with mine and felt sort of unexpectedly lonely, but when my daughter engaged with me I was completely smitten. It’s ok to not love the baby stage, but you will love your child so much I suspect you will find parts of this stage that you love as well. Best wishes.

  • Kendall
    Mar 30

    Opposite for me! I was obsessed with teeny tiny babies and haaaaaaated that season of life! Like others have said- it’s definitely not the same when it’s you’re own :)

  • Kieli
    Mar 30

    I worked at a daycare, and the YMCA preschool, and babysat for my little cousins all the time before I got pregnant. So I thought it would just come natural? And it did, but it was definitely different than what I expected. I gave birth and they handed me this helpless newborn, my husband didn’t even want kids until I got pregnant so he didn’t know what he was doing either lol. My daughter screamed murder every time I put her down in the hospital, and she wanted to breastfeed every 20 minutes so I was in pain, holding a newborn, and not getting up as often as I could for almost 3 days. I’d say the hospital stay was the worst time of my life. The nurses made me feel bad when I tried to call them for help/advice. Nobody even came to talk to me about breastfeeding. After I got home things got WAY better. My milk supply came in, so she actually slept, I was able to move around a little more, I had better food, plus the comfort of my own bed. I think once they hand the baby over to you, you will get the feeling of “wow I made this” and then everyday the connection and love will just grow. Try not to worry too much! Time flies, I look back at old pictures when she couldn’t run around and scream at me and I miss being able to hold her in my arms

  • Lily
    Mar 30

    The baby time will go by so fast! Before you know it your little one will be running around! I miss having a little baby! They sleep so much, and don't back talk you! Enjoy every moment because it will be gone too fast!

  • Tara
    Apr 01

    Wasn’t s baby person before, fell madly and instantly in love with my first, less so with my second- was a more gradual connection- and became totally mushy with the sight of any baby... mine are now toddlers, I’m no longer breastfeeding, and have gone right back to being disinterested in babies lol I even used to feel queasy around pregnant women and their bumps, and that’s come back too! I suppose I adored babies for as long as I needed to, and I imagine and hope you will fall into a similar pattern. Best of luck!

  • Laura Jane
    Apr 01

    Felt similar feelings before my son was born. I was 39 and fearful/overwhelmed/concerned. Everyone said we’d know what to do, :) they were right. Mama, you two will be great! My husband stayed home for three weeks, thought I’d go back to work and didn’t. Baby will be two this month. He was sleeping through the night at two weeks.

  • Diana
    Apr 01

    I’ve always liked kids and been indifferent to babies - they’re cute but -shrug-. I thought it would be different with my own... nope. They put that slimey baby right on my chest and I immediately felt a huge sense of commitment to her well being, but no love. She was one of the wrinkly old men with a comb over babies. But around 4 months, the love started to seep in (when she started to smile and interact) and now I’m that mom that won’t stop talking about her cute toddler. I now smile every time I see a newborn, but mostly because I’m so glad I’m past that stage! Just because you’re not the same as a Facebook mom doesn’t make you a bad mom - my child is very confident and I feel a large part of that is from how much she was held and tended to as a newborn... and that I wasn’t stressing over trying to be like a Facebook mom portrays herself to be!

  • Anonymous
    Apr 03

    I’m a single mom, who lives with family but feels super disconnected with everything. I have severe postpartum depression. Your body goes through a lot when you grow a baby. Everything changes once baby is here. Work is more of a challenge if your even able to still work. Breastfeeding was a challenge I wasn’t ready for. Doing both is even harder. I loved kids when I was younger. And growing up everyone told me I’d make a great mom. Somedays I feel like I wasn’t ment to be a mom. Then I think of the family and friends that can’t have kids and want them and I’m ashamed. I love my son but I feel like we’ll never have that connection that every mom has with her child. What’s wrong with me is on my mind a lot. But we’ll get through it. Slowly. Day by day. ❤️

  • Beverly
    Apr 04

    I've never been a baby/kid person and never really wanted them. My husband did so I caved and had one. The whole pregnancy I was wondering why i was doing this, the first few months and I was mad at myself for allowing "this" to happen. But around 8 months or so when things started to get easier I came around. He's almost four now and those feelings are long gone and now I wish I could have more! So in short, i say it's normal for some, but no mater what, you'll come around and be that amazing mom.

  • Anonymous
    Apr 04

    I never had the love at first sight feeling that most people either feel or feel like they have to feel. Instinct to protect at all costs came naturally but the warm fuzzies came later as the baby morphed from a demanding creature nearly indifferent to who met their basic needs to someone that could react. Being a mom truly became joyful for me around 3-4 months when there was real reaction and interaction. Maybe you’ll feel differently. What matters is, DO YOU. Don’t let expectations add an additional burden to a period that will already be a difficult adjustment. The rest will come in no time. Best of luck!

  • Anonymous
    Apr 04

    I didn’t bond with either of my kids until they were able to talk between 18-24 months old. I never got the “love at first sight” feelings that friends and acquaintances all said they felt when they had their kids.

  • Anonymous
    Apr 05

    Honestly same as above, I am more bonding now around 18mos. Even tho I didn’t have love at first sight I still cared and managed to get through. I wasn’t sure I really loved mine much til her first vaccination appointment. Her screaming from the pokes almost made me punch the nurse 😂 but honestly they are not very entertaining in the beginning however I would assume either a) love at first sight is the normal and you’re more likely to be that route or b) everyone is lying about it and it doesn’t actually happen that way 😅

  • Annie
    May 03

    You may not think you’re baby people right now. Neither did I, but when it’s your own child, you never want them to grow out of the baby phase. I never thought I’d be so proud of someone for lifting their head up or rolling over. You’re gonna have a blast. If you make sure to take care of yourself mentally and physically, you’ll make it through. You’re gonna be great!