Am I spoiling my one year old?

My daughter is at the point where she knows what she wants and she’ll throw a fit to get it. I feel like this is a tough age to start disciplining her because she doesn’t talk and we can’t verbally communicate back and forth. For example every once in a while she gets my phone to watch youtube kids, but when I take the phone back she cries and cries and nothing makes it stop until she gets it back. Same with rooms she’s not allowed in, outlets she can’t play with, etc. how do I calm her without giving in?

  • Marika
    May 05

    1 year old, distractions were working pretty well for me. For example trying to touch something forbidden like cat food...I would say: you can not do this - for cats only....followed up by crying by LO...I just grab him and change situation/room...and say let's see whats going on outside to focus attention to something else....crying stopped and something else interesting for my LO happened.

  • Lily
    May 06

    Distractions!! If she has something she isn't supposed to, trade with her something she can play with. Have to take the phone away, say let's play outside! And make a big deal about it..... distractions distractions distractions! It works for a little bit then they get too smart once they hit about 18 months! :P

  • Anonymous
    May 06

    Telling her no is not discipline. It's your job to set boundaries, and hers to learn what the boundaries are. And she may not talk with words, but she understands what you say. Give her a few minutes warning before you take the phone, then follow through. Then have something different on the ready for her.

  • Anonymous
    May 06

    Agree with anonymous above that it’s your role to set boundaries. At this age, it’s helpful to have distractions to move beyond whatever the issue is. Disagree, however, that this isn’t discipline. As I see it, this is true definition of discipline 🤷‍♀️ and something that’s an important part of child development. If you mean discipline in the “punishment” sense, I don’t think that’s particularly beneficial to kids anyway... I personally prefer trying to work on sticking to boundaries (consistently, but) as gently as possible. You’ll have plenty of time for carrot/stick battles later. Take all this with a grain of salt - these things are easier said than done. Good luck!

  • Naomi
    May 06

    Don’t give in; do that consistently and busy yourself with something constructive & she will calm herself and more than likely become interested in what you are doing.

  • Kelley
    May 07

    I agree with the anonymous’. My 19 month old will get extremely upset if I tell her no for something dangerous for her or no to the phone, etc. I give her a warning “last song and then we are all done” and then I stick to that. When she is upset I say, “you can (read a book) or (puzzle). What would you like to do now?” Giving her choices give her back the control she likes and she is able to move forward from something upsetting. Options are always great at this age.

  • Momof2
    May 07

    I totally agree with all the other posts that setting boundaries following through is very important! I also think it’s super helpful to let her know you understand what she’s feeling especially because she’s not verbal (she may be thinking that you’re not letting her do what you want her to do because you don’t understand what she’s trying to tell you. She may be getting more frustrated that she doesn’t have the words to explain to you in a way that she thinks you understand). Maybe say something like “ I know you really want to play with my phone right now and you’re upset because I won’t let you. Let’s find something else fun we can do together!”(and then offer choices that are acceptable to you). I know that when I am really upset just feeling like someone understands my feelings is really helpful and my kids of been pretty responsive to this tactic most of the time as well. Good luck!

  • A
    May 08

    In regards to the communication barrier, maybe try teaching her some simple sign language.