Posted in Mental Health, Multiple Children

Angry a lot

Anonymous

I am having a hard time controlling my temper/anger since having my second child. I have a three year old and 8 month old and I have been having a really hard time with my temper. It seems like the littlest things upset me from my baby fussing to my three year old not doing exactly what they are told. I can’t help but yell at the situation and just feel angry. I feel bad once I calm down and apologize for yelling but it doesn’t feel right. This stuff never used to bother me this bad until I had my second. I am wondering if it is post partum or if I am just overwhelmed. Neither one of my kiddos sleeps through the night so I am up a lot and I am constantly tired. Just looking for some advice of how to control my anger. Thanks!

  • Anonymous
    Jun 26, 2019

    I would talk to someone about PPD for sure. But also maybe get to the bottom of why your 3 yo doesn't sleep through the night. Is your partner no help? When I had my second we decided to divide and conquer in an attempt to get us both a little more sleep. He does all for our 3 yo in regards to bed time and wake up, and I do all for the 10 month old. Don't be afraid to ask for help, or maybe demand it 😂🤷

  • Anaiah
    Jun 26, 2019

    I don’t think it’s PPD. I honestly believe you’re having trouble adjusting. You have a toddler who is learning new things every second of the day and a baby who relies 100% on you. I think you need to think as to whether it’s anger you feel or anger is a result of a deeper issue. Do you feel helpless? Or like you don’t have time for yourself anymore? Find out your triggers so that you can find solutions to those issues. Your yelling is a result of how you feel, not how they are making you feel. If you didn’t have this sort of response before the second child, then something changed in the last year that resulted in you using anger instead of finding resolution. Best of luck 💕 Just remember, regardless, you are doing great! I know it doesn’t feel that way but the fact you can acknowledge you need help enough to write this post shows you are making progress!

  • Tilford
    Jun 26, 2019

    I have this exact same situation with my 3 yr old. I think she does certain things to get my attention since I have her little sister. I’m trying to get her potty trained. However, my 3yr old will use the potty for my mom and her dad but not me. It’s a little bit irritating and overwhelming all at once. Do you think that you just might be overwhelmed???... oan: I do apologize for venting a little bit.

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Jun 26, 2019

    I honestly think it’s lack of sleep. At least for me, it’s always when I hit and exhausted stage that I lose it for no reason. Of course, there isn’t an easy fix to that. I’d suggest some of the following: 1) try to challenge yourself in the moment to be worth the feeling and sort through the feeling 2) make some “parental ethics” sacrifices to get rest. Ie, baby is napping, put the tv on and snuggle with your 3 yr old while you nap. Or have a snack ready if 3 yr is the early riser and give her a snack in your bed and put the tv on and go back to sleep. Whatever you need to do I have 4.5. 3, and 1.5 who all still wake up and come in my bed at various times at night. They mostly go right back to sleep recently, so I haven’t lost as much sleep lately, but I’ve totally been where you are. Hang in there. This too shall Pass.

  • Anonymous
    Jun 26, 2019

    Thank you everyone. I honestly think it might be a mix of exhaustion and being overwhelmed. My husband is wonderful and helps when he is home and it makes everything so much easier. I just find it hard when two little ones are demanding something from me and there isn’t anything I can do. All of your words have helped and I am going to continue to work on it!

  • Mel
    Jun 27, 2019

    I have two, a 2 yr old and a 4 month old. My 2 yr old sleeps through the night (sleep trained at 6 months old) and I am still overwhelmed so I can’t imagine how you feel. It’s probably time you sleep train both for your sake. Look into the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy child. And into the book the Sleep Easy Solution. Sleep training really does work... and you will be much better rested and less angry.

  • Megan
    Jul 01, 2019

    Same! I have a 2 year old and a almost 10 mo old and find myself getting easily frustrated. My husband is amazing but he deployed just over 2 months ago and we still have at least 5 months to go! Hoping they don’t extend him a second time! 🤞🏻 But my patience get pretty thin from time to time (meaning time to time everyday) but both my kids sleep through the night so you’ve got to be way more exhausted! I would first and foremost start sleep training them! That will help a ton! We got this for our daughter and told her Red means stay in bed and Green means you can get up! It’s been a lifesaver and we will get one for our son when he transitions to a toddler bed too. But besides that what I find to help me relax and have a better mood is when I exercise! That helps my mood soooo much. I used to wake up before my kids to work out on the elliptical before they woke up but I was so tired that it didn’t last long. So after breakfast I strap them up and take them for a jog followed by the park in our neighborhood. That gets my mood boosted and frustrations out and their energy out at the park while I stretch. I also notice if my house is messy I have a hard time relaxing and enjoying time when I am home. I used to clean when the kids were down for a nap but than I didn’t get that relax time I so wanted. So I started doing them with the kids... it can be hard, but they feed off my energy. If I get frustrated, they get frustrated. If I go into it knowing this is going to take longer and no necessarily get done perfect but have them “help” me they smile and giggle and we have fun and it gets done so I can relax when they’re asleep and have a nap myself sometimes haha. When it comes time for meals I sit them in there chairs and they watch me cook and I talk them through it like a cooking show... it keeps them entertained and off my legs asking to get up and be held. Than there are days where we just need to get out of the house and we drive to another town to got run errands or play at a new park. Sometimes you all need a break from being in the house too much and doing the same routine. Not sure if any of these bother you haha but if they do these are some things I try to do to help us get through the day and say that was a good day.