Anxiety about death

Recently, my own Dad has been facing some health issues. Very serious. I’ve been reflecting on loss, grief, “what-ifs,” and most importantly my own death. It fills me with such heartache at the thought of losing my own parents, but also should something happen to me or my husband. Is this normal? Does anyone else think about the loss of themselves and how it would impact their family? Every crack my bones make, or abnormal feeling on my skin makes me think I’m dying. I can’t shake the thought of losing my own parents or my son losing his. Thoughts?

  • Christa
    Apr 05

    I honestly think it’s pretty normal. I had a mental break down about this the other night with my husband. I just lost my mother in August, and now am pregnant with baby 2, and had a melt down, what happens to our kids should something happen? Do we have a life insurance policy... you know the normals. But my point is, and what my husband told me, is there is no controlling what will happen tomorrow, and we can’t determine the future. But what we can control is our today. If we get so wrapped up in what ifs and the constant fear of wondering what is happening that we can’t control or worrying about every single little thing, then we forget to see the magic of life and the memories and the beautiful things that god is giving us to enjoy and be blessed by everyday. So yeah, it’s normal to worry about it, but don’t let it consume you. Because you miss your son growing up, or the look on your husbands face when he looks at you while you wake up! Mine swears it’s the best moment of his day- I think I look terrible but it’s a husband thing I think! Anyway, life for the present and enjoy the moments you get with your dad while you are blessed with them. Take your son to see grandpa while he’s still around and make those lasting memories that god is allowing you NOW! I promise you will always miss them, but they never leave us, they are always in your heart, in the air we breathe, and the opportunities we are given after they are no longer here to walk on earth physically with us!!

  • Anonymous
    Apr 06

    This is normal. anytime someone dies the topic gets brought up more. Do you have a plan in place if something were to happen to you and your husband? Maybe getting a will and figuring out guardianship will give you some piece of mind and a way to focus on something else during this difficult time. I am sorry about your Dad

  • Cathy
    Apr 06

    Thanks so much for the feedback. Yes, we have a Will in place. It’s just all so sad :(

  • Abigail
    Apr 11

    Yeah I thought about it a lot when my mom suddenly passed away at 59. We used that angst to write a will, update our beneficiaries and talk to several close friends seriously about guardianship. We also planned out funeral details and chain of custody. Use that negative energy and channel it into a positive direction. View worry as a negative direction that will end your life sooner and deprive you of enjoying today.

  • molly
    Apr 11

    It’s pretty normal. even my PCP told me that she obsessed about it after becoming a parent. So long as you have an estate plan (for the $ and minor heirs) there is little that u can do except try and enjoy it and build the idea of resilience in your kids when the age is right

  • Bee
    Apr 16

    I found that becoming a parent instantly jettisoned me into all types of fears, mostly surrounding my children's wellbeing, but it seems your fear of death is directly tied to that. Honestly, I think it's pretty normal, but I'd still be on the lookout for anything that's keeping you from functioning "normally" (whatever that means for you).

  • Ana-Maria
    Apr 16

    I agree that it‘s a common theme after becoming a parent (or maybe mother). Its good to share your concerns, your fears with other mothers who are going through a similar experience. The fact that there are others out there feeling what you feel might hopefully make the hardship more bearable. and can we all please practice honesty about our experiences as mothers and once and for all demystify motherhood. Sending strength