Posted in Babies, Child Care, Working Parents

Anxious and freaked out about childcare!

Anonymous

I’m a first time mom, both hubby and I work and when I returned to work my company was flexible and willing to work with my schedule. I would in the office half of the day then hubby would drop off baby with me and I would work from home rest of the day but now I have to be in the office full shift 3-4 times a week. We’re considering childcare, our baby is 7 months but I’m freaking out! I can’t imagine leaving my baby with strangers. I keep replaying horror stories of babysitters and childcare staff yelling and screaming at my baby and or neglecting him and it’s heart breaking! We can’t afford for me not to work but with cost of childcare I might as well stay home and take care of our baby myself. Any advice? Am I freaking out for no reason? Help!!!

  • 2Boys&aDog
    Jan 18

    Sometimes it truly is worth staying home and tightening up your budget. Childcare costs are outrageous. Doesn’t even matter if something is “cheap” or “expensive” though, either end of the spectrum doesn’t guarantee the well being of your child. I’m not saying every childcare giver is bad or dangerous, I truly believe there are plenty of good people out there that love children and treat them well (I was a nanny and loved the families I worked with and still keep in touch with them) but my advice would be to take all of the time you need to truly feel comfortable with your childcare arrangement. Be sure that their values line up with yours and check references. It is totally normal to feel this way and best of luck to you, whatever you decide.

  • Maria
    Jan 18

    FTM here too. Tough situation. I was in the exact same situation and just decided to stay home because the couple hundred dollars I was going to be left with at the end of the month after paying for childcare were not worthy for me and hated the idea of my baby spending more time and getting attached to other people but me. I used to be a nanny and loved the kids and babysat but also saw how other babysitters treated the other kids and I just would not risk my baby being treated that way. It was best for me to just start home even if that meant tightening up our budget. You do what’s best for your family and don’t rush into anything, make sure you feel comfortable with the daycare or babysitter you choose for your baby. Good luck!

  • Mike
    Jan 18

    So much to consider comes to this, hard to tell you there’s one side fits all- Staying home resolves one angle, adds two more to the equation- True that you can’t put price on time with your kiddo, nobody will do it like you will-but consider what will that mean for your relationship for the long term- going back to work down the road will become challenging and agonizing-brings a lot of guilt- If you’re good parents and your life long dream wasn’t to be a homemaker then the time 0-2.5yrs (usual need for daycare /pre-K and then the system) flies by, just make sure you’re well setup to be there when the time counts. Don’t worry, kiddos know who the parents are, nobody can make them believe otherwise. Mike

  • Anonymous
    Jan 18

    Thank you everyone! It’s nice to get different perspectives.

  • Elle
    Jan 19

    We LOVE our daycare. Baby learns so much just THRIVES there. She has so many little baby friends and the older kids adore her. Every week there is a different curriculum that builds on itself each day. As the week progresses, you can really see their skills develop. Just pick a reputable day care with good standards, clear practices and protocols, a clear and communicative director. Shoot for a learning center if you can.

  • Michaela
    Jan 19

    You could look for jobs that could be done from home? If you ended up finding something but still needed a bit of time during the day to get things done you could pay for a babysitter while you’re there. I have a friend that did some things for a pharmaceutical company online and on the phone and did this. I see the benefits of daycare but I personally couldn’t get myself to do it right now. Especially since I know it’s not actually necessary for our family at the moment for me to be working.

  • Britt
    Jan 19

    It’s tough, but in my opinion a daycare helps our little ones’ development so much. They need that cognitive engagement and the social skill aspect even at the young age. Just find a reputable daycare with good reviews. You can always check in and visit until you’re more comfortable about it. It gets easier!

  • Anonymous
    Jan 19

    A nanny share is often less expensive and more attentive than day care. The ratios are far too high in daycare centers and kids don’t get much beyond their basic needs met. A child doesn’t begin to play with others until they’re over a year old. Our pediatrician has said, “by all means have play dates, but do it so that you get some adult company, not because you think the kid is getting anything out of it.” I tend to agree.

  • Anonymous
    Jan 19

    Tough choice to make. But you do what’s best for you & your family. There’s no size fits all, every family is unique & you know yours best. Regardless of what you end up deciding, you’re giving what’s best for your child.

  • Mercedes
    Jan 20

    I ended up staying home because my entire paycheck was going to daycare. I ended up finding a job to do from home so it was a win win. If you’re worried about your child not socializing there are free things you can be apart of to encourage socialization. Storytime at the library, the park...etc. My daughter is developmentally at the same level as my friends kids who are the same age in daycare and I notice my daughter doesn’t get sick as often. BUT being a SAHM means your “home” is your job and I notice that I don’t get a “break” whereas when I was working at least I got a lunch to myself 😂😂