Anonymous

Any parents out there with ADHD or other mental health challenges?

I feel like parenting as a person with ADHD comes with new and different experiences, and I've been wondering if any other parents have been through anything similar :)

  • Kieli
    Oct 31

    My husband has ADHD. I can tell it’s difficult for him at times, and other times he is like my third child! 😂

  • Anne
    Oct 31

    🤚🏻 Me! it is very hard, especially now that my kids are school age so I get to deal with all their homework/projects/permission slips/etc... it's so much stuff to remember and keep track of, and it's very triggering. The biggest change for me after having kids is that medication is simply not optional anymore. I need it to function. If I didn't have it, no one would ever get clothed, fed, or to school on time...

  • Anonymous
    Oct 31

    i apparently have both adhd and autism, and my husband doesn't want to have a kid unless (until!) i go back on meds for resistant depression, which i went off of specifically in order to try to become pregnant. we got married and bought a house this past year, because my parents wanted us to be married before "trying", and he wanted to be in a house rather than an apartment before raising a kid. i don't know what to do. of course i'm talking with my therapist and medication manager and primary care doctor about this, and we've just (finally!) gotten a first appointment to see a relationship counsellor, but all the appointments are so few and far between, and it just seems like such a long, slow process. i wanted a kid started around 8 years ago, but not for most of my life (i'm already going to be an "older" mother), and i definitely feel like i'm running out of time to conceive a healthy baby, and maybe even to have a healthy relationship in this marriage. anyhow. dunno if any of that information helps you, but i'm pretty sure ADHD, like autism, has a genetic component, so there are probably generations of parents who have done this with reasonable success. sorry i'm not more helpful.

  • Anonymous
    Oct 31

    I have heard of friends who have such challenges, and heard of recommendations to meditate. Not sure if talking to a therapist will help.

  • Jade
    Nov 01

    I’ve recently been diagnosed with anxiety! I find my toddler’s cries (teething 😭) really trigger an adrenaline type of anxious response that’s super overwhelming. I’m working with a wonderful counselor to find root causes and coping mechanisms and it’s been hard work but really helpful so far.

  • Stacey
    Nov 01

    I have ADHD. He is still pretty young at 2 years old but I worry if it will get worse as he gets older. My husband helps a great deal. He made a shared calender and we have a whiteboard in the bedroom that has upcoming events. He also takes care of the bills because they might not get paid on time. It works though. I take care of getting my son ready in the morning and take him to daycare. Daddy picks him up and makes dinner and we split the rest.

  • HR
    Nov 07

    As a person with life-long depression & anxiety, I sometimes have a rough time (I want to be the best for my kid, I don’t think I’m being the best, then I spiral), but I feel like parenthood has helped me try harder to do more to manage myself & push myself out of my comfort zones to help him have a more ‘normal,’ loving childhood (not one where his memories are tainted with Mommy being unable to function emotionally). I also think my condition gives me a sort of hightend awareness: I can keep a lookout for traits of mental illness in him & help him sooner than I got help if needed (I was in my late teens before anyone took my problems seriously; before that, people just literally thought I was a terrible human being). I like to think my experiences also help me be more understanding when my kid’s having a tough time (like having a tantrum; I know what it’s like to have trouble telling others what’s wrong b/c sometimes you just don’t have the capabilities to do so).

  • HR
    Nov 07

    ALSO: Anonymous’ post on the 31st reminds me to let others know that it IS possible to have a healthy baby while still taking medication during pregnancy. Definitely work with doctor on this—they can help you find something that will work while carrying if possible, then to help you readjust after birth. For example: I was on Zoloft & Lexapro. My baby was born healthy, & I was alive & well as well. After, I was switched to Zoloft & Wellbutrin. My doctors’ reasoning was that if they couldn’t keep my anxiety/depression low, my stress could affect my baby negatively—more so than the meds could.