I don’t know think you are overreacting; if they can’t be nice to you, how they going to treat your kiddo. You are the mother and it should be how you want it to be regarding your kiddo. She would be to young to be spending the night at grandmas; as they interact with her while you are there, you can change your mind. Since, you said your partner’s family views males as more important; how would they treat your female child? Stand your ground as you would be your kiddo’s advocate.
Reply to Trust issues. Am I over reacting or no?