Posted in Parenting Culture, Babies, Tips & Hacks

Baby advice! (long post)

Anonymous

Hi all! I just wanted to share some of my experiences with having a baby. My daughter was born in December and is now 4 months old. She’s a very easygoing baby (which I am forever grateful for!). However, in the short time I’ve been a mom, I have gotten a LOT of advice. Both good and bad. I’ve been told to sleep when the baby sleeps, which is a great idea up to a point. You can’t be expected to sleep all the time, especially if you have other kids. There are also other responsibilities that come with having a child such as cleaning, making sure you yourself have something to eat, and other things you may have to do. My mother in law repeatedly made me feel bad about myself because instead of sleeping, I chose to spend the time my daughter slept cleaning, helping my husband with things and making food for us both. Yes, he helps out but there are certain things we did together. Also, telling new moms what they’re doing wrong/what they could be doing better isn’t helping, if anything it hurts hearing that other people don’t think you’re doing your best. If anything, all a new mommy wants to hear is ‘you’re doing great!’. Other advice I have gotten was to make sure we were ‘making noise’ while our daughter slept so she wouldn’t get used to the silence. Which yes, I understand, but at the same time the (many) people who told us that would come over while our daughter was sleeping and be as loud as possible. Now, I have been given some good advice. My daughter is bottle fed, so I was told to give her a “top-off” to help her sleep longer at night. And let me tell you, it was a great idea! When she was about 6 weeks old we started trying it, and it definitely made a difference!! After her last bottle at night (around 8-9pm) we would put her down to sleep and my husband and I would watch tv, do dishes, etc. Now when we went to bed at 11/12, we would make her a small bottle (about 2-3oz) and give it to her. It helped her sleep longer through the night and she would sleep until about 5am instead of waking up 3 times during the night! What advice have you been given? Both good and bad? I’d love to hear!

  • Marie
    Apr 18

    I read somewhere to get some hand towels (the small ones) and keep them at the dinner table. Just wet it when you need to clean up the baby or their food tray/mess and it really saves on using wipes! Wish I would have done that with my oldest! We have a pile of them now at our table and use at least 4 towels each meal! They are so awesome!

  • Anonymous
    Apr 18

    @Marie That’s a great idea!! I’ll be sure to use that when my daughter starts solids!

  • Annie
    Apr 18

    The advice I loved most was when your baby speaks in her babble, to respond like you’re in an actual conversation. They say it helps with speech development and while I haven’t found that to be the case yet, I have a lot of fun pretending my 12 month old and I have deep meaningful conversations. If nothing else it’s made her very animated in her babble

  • Anonymous
    Apr 18

    @Annie I’ve started doing that too, my daughter is still in her cooing phase and it always makes her smile and kick her legs like crazy when I have a conversation with her

  • cocomac
    Apr 18

    Don’t feel guilty to say no to people. It’s true when they say “they grow so fast”. My husband and I spent first 2 months saying yes and putting our family members happiness (she is first grand baby on both sides) before ours and we both now realize that we need to put our own happiness (and our own troubles) before our family members’. I actually am in therapy because I felt robbed of my maternity leave - not a serious thing but I’ve had a tough time letting things go. My husband invited our family over the day I came home! Within 2 hours they were at my house... Anyways, be strong in your journey of motherhood. You were blessed with your baby and despite what others say or think, you are the mom and you will make the best decision for your baby.

  • Jennifer
    Apr 25

    @Annie, I totally agree with you about the deep conversations. When my daughter was little, I'd talk to her all the time regardless if she understood me. It really helps with speech development. I still have a video of me saying "I love you" when she was 4 months old and she responded babbling, but the sounds really sounded like her saying "I love you" back. That is just priceless and a memory I will forever treasure!