Posted in Behavior, Blended Families, Grade Schoolers

Behavioral issues with stepdaughter

My 6 yr old stepdaughter has been living with us now for 6 months after her mother sent her and her brother to live with us because she couldn't handle single parenthood anymore. They skype once a week and her mom talks about all the stuff she's been doing and i think it is making her sad and left out. She has been acting out at school and talking back to the teachers bad lately. Any advice on how to handle this situation without making her feel unwanted by her dad and I?

  • Erika
    May 14, 2018

    I highly recommend family therapy. That’s a lot of abandonment for those little ones to process.

  • Scarlett
    May 14, 2018

    Yeah i know. She is almost 7 and definitely feels it. He is almost 4 and doesn't quite understand but he at least adjusted well. Their mom is west cost where as we are east and she hasn't seen them since we got them from the airport 6 months ago

  • Jackie
    May 14, 2018

    Is her mom friendly with you and your husband? Or what is your relationship like between the adults? Just asking because I am in a similar situation...

  • Scarlett
    May 14, 2018

    I dont care for her at all. She is a very selfish person in my opinion and doesn't even help us financially with the kids. He plays nice for the kids sake.

  • Scarlett
    May 14, 2018

    She actually was still in diapers when we got her because potty training was too hard. I got her potty trained and while it was hard we didn't give up. He isnt talking much yet and is still in diapers also but we are trying to remedy that as well

  • Jackie
    May 14, 2018

    Omg, still in diapers at 6 years old? WTH!? Anyway, I’m in the same situation with my ex which is REALLY UPSETTING! However, I would have your husband tell her to stop with that, if she loves her children, AS SHE SHOULD, telling them what they are missing is ONLY hurting them and making this situation WORSE. Do you and your hubby have kids between the two of you? If possible, I would make an effort to set a time, maybe once a week, where it’s JUST YOU AND HER, so she’s feel special. That way you and her can start to bond and she will feel loved, wanted, etc....Even if just an hour or two. I know from doing this myself that you will see a change with her and your relationship at least.

  • Scarlett
    May 14, 2018

    No i dont have kids so this whole. Mom thing is very new to me. We are going to the beach soon and i thought it would be fun to go get our nails done before we go. It's been a struggle between making sure they have discipline and structure through all this transitioning and not letting them get away with anything because of the situation

  • Nada
    May 16, 2018

    What you need to remember is the child is hurting. Don’t bad mouth the mom around the children and do something special for the little girl. Once she feels she isn’t being sent away because no one cares she will open up more. Take her for ice cream, special shopping time, play date at the park...just something for you and her. Tell the mom that even though she loves her kids sometimes a step back to give them time to adjust will do everyone some good. If she wants to be in their lives she shouldn’t have sent them away in the first place and being so far away and being reminded that she is better off without her kids is not going to help the kids at all and may even do more damage than good.

  • Scarlett
    May 16, 2018

    Yeah we try very hard not to mention her at all around them because she gets so sad about missing her. We are about to go on a family vacation to the beach and i think i am going to take her to get her nails done just me and her before we go!