Anonymous

Best friend chose the same baby name - what would you do?

I’m 7 months pregnant and my best friend just had her baby girl. i had been trying to get a hint from her about the name or even letter she was thinking about but she went to the hospital with three potential names and didn’t decide until her baby was born. We just found out she chose the same name as us and we’re heartbroken. The name we chose is in honor of both my grandmother and great grandmother with that name, and I’ve planned on naming a daughter that name since I was 15. I really don’t want to change the name, but I’m also pretty upset that it feels much less special, might be a sign of how popular it’s gotten, and I also feel badly that I just can’t be as happy for her as I want to be. Any words of advice? Thank you!

  • 2Boys&aDog
    Feb 11

    I wouldn’t change the name. It doesn’t sound like she purposely took your name being that she didn’t reveal any hints, unless you told her the name that you were planning to use? I guess that would be weird but maybe it didn’t matter to her if you both chose the same name. It is still special to you for the reasons you chose it and that’s all that matters. You may feel hurt right now but in time those feelings will fade (especially after the birth of yours) and you will be happy for your friend. Feel better soon mama!

  • Laura
    Feb 11

    I think as long as the two kids have different middle names, it will be fine. So you can refer to your friend's baby as Mary Beth and your kid as Mary Anne, for example. I spent elementary school as Laura S. because there was always another Laura. And I have two cousins named Andrew so one is Big Andrew and the other is Small Andrew. It would be good to bring this up with your friend before your kid is born so she doesn't think you're just copying her.

  • Mama
    Feb 11

    I wouldn’t change either. Names mean so much. And it means a lot to you.

  • Anna
    Feb 11

    I agree; have a conversation with her, and if it’s special to you, she will understand. Also, don’t worry about popularity. If you like the name, that’s the most important thing. Honestly, so many people are striving to have “different” names nowadays that there will be plenty of uncommon names that become popular. For instance, my husband’s friend’s wife was super concerned with that, so they ‘made up’ a name-Aliviana. Soon thereafter, we moved to a new town and met some people, also horribly concerned with name popularity-and they had named their daughter Liviana. You can’t win that game. 😜

  • Tristan
    Feb 11

    Seriously, pick the name you love, regardless of what others have done. I don’t see any problem with having the same name. If your friend freaks out about it, then, welllllll, they probably weren’t all that good a friend to begin with. Plus, sounds a bit like your friend was playing games with the name. If they really were that close, I think they would have at least told you the names, right? Why so secretive?

  • Elle
    Feb 11

    Don't change the name. It's the name you picked long ago and decided on with your partner. It is in honor of your family members. That makes it special. Thousands to millions of people currently have or have had nearly every name. Try not to feel upset because you happen to know a few of them.

  • B
    Feb 11

    Keep the name. Talk to her before the birth but after the craziness of new baby subsides. We didn’t tell anyone our name ahead of time, not even family, and I think that’s pretty common. Unless she knew you had your heart set on this one, and she had no other connection to it, it isn’t her fault. And big picture doesn’t matter if they have the same name.

  • Anonymous
    Feb 11

    Keep the name and maybe think hard about an original middle name- if you think the name you originally chose has become overly popular- so your girl can choose to blend in or stand out in the future. Sharing the same name with your best friend’s daughter is special in its own right. Besides, you may not stay BBF4E so I wouldn’t sweat it 😉

  • Lynn
    Feb 12

    What’s the name (curious). I’m done with kids. If you want a different name, you have to be as original as possible and make the name from scratch. Otherwise, meh, it really doesn’t matter. There will always be someone with the same name. I wouldn’t change the name.

  • Anonymous
    Feb 12

    Keep the name..tell her how you feel. If you lose a best friend over it then she wasn't a true friend. At least you have the name you love.

  • Kee
    Feb 21

    Of course you keep the name!!! I don’t think people understand the effort in picking out a name especially if it has a special meaning too you. Since you guys are besties your kids will grow up to be besties and they will enjoy having the same name!! They are going to feel that they were destined to be friends forever 😊🤞🏾

  • Fuzzyjelbud
    Feb 21

    Did your best friend know that you had already chosen that name? If she did, I would honestly be a little upset. If she didn’t know, then your daughters are going to have the same name. Not a big deal. My friend and I both wanted to have a daughter named Jade. We decided whoever had a girl first got the name. So her Jade is now six and my Olivia is now four. And my friend would not have been upset at all if we would have named Olivia Jade too. I would only give some side eye to your friend if she knew you had already chosen that name for family reasons and then picked the same name. Do not change your child’s name!

  • Angela
    Feb 21

    Make it the baby's middle name. If it's a popular name (my issue with Evelyn...darn it!) then she will prob go by her first name (or some derivative of it), but if it turns out it was just a coincidence, then you can always call her by her middle name.

  • Anonymous
    Mar 20

    I named my daughter Gracie, after my grandmother. All through school, she complained that NOBODY has a name like hers Now, she appreciates having a different name.