Anonymous

Birthday party RSVPs

We are having a birthday party for my son in 3 days.. I let my son invite the kids from his babysitters. He is 5 and has always gone there. There are about 10 kids and some are siblings... I knew a lot of people may decline because of the holiday weekend but only one parent has RSVP’d... I have no idea whether to plan on the others attending or not. It is okay either way but I would like to know!! When did not RSVP’ing become a thing?! I apologized to another mom for not RSVP’ing to an invite and now I see maybe that is the new norm. Even if it is the norm, I will still RSVPin the future.

  • Cathy
    May 24

    Oh how awful! I agree with everyone else. I’m so sorry and how frustrating for you.

  • Elle
    May 25

    Ug. Ppl, always rsvp! Definitely follow up, like an above commenter suggested

  • Kimothy
    May 26

    RVSP’ing is a lost art especially if you don’t know the parents that well. My wife usually handles the face to face invite

  • Zelda
    May 26

    I'm guilty for not RSVP'ing. I don't do Facebook and if I get an evite I try to do it right there and then if not I forget, it's not that I don't care I just simply forget.....therefore because of that when I plan anything I go straight to text message or phone call. Those of us who unintentionally do not respond do not feel bothered by a follow up. I know it's a lot of work to do that on top of planning but at least you'll know how much planning you will have to do

  • Dan
    May 27

    Flakes are on the rise. I would email/call them all and say you have to know now for very good reason

  • Hayley
    May 27

    In the past I’ve asked for regrets only. That way if I don’t hear from them then they know that we are expecting them. It’s worked for me just fine.

  • Sharon
    May 30

    I send out reminders. Usually those that don’t respond also don’t show.

  • Cassandra
    May 30

    Wow! This is definitely not my experience. My son is 3 and we’ve done one birthday party that included all the school friends. Who’s parents I do not really know. Almost everyone RSVP’d and the one who didn’t, didn’t come. We’ve also been invited to a bunch of parties, usually evite or paperless post is used to send via email, and we always RSVP and see everyone else doing the same. It might be partially because we live in NYC and no one has room in their apartment for a bunch of kids and their parents, so the parties are usually at a place that we all know charges by the kid. I can’t believe that this would be a “lost art” though. How do you plan? What size cake do you buy? I’d follow up with email and if you really do not get responses, shoot a text. I wouldn’t call. No one wants phone calls.

  • Cori
    May 30

    We invited my daughters class to her 4th birthday. Out of the 25 invited we passed out, I heard from 6 kids all yes’s. It seems like this is the new normal. I always rsvp either way but it seems like people in this areas only let you know if they are coming. This was our first time inviting her class and we are newer to the area. I was worried the whole time about other kids showing up. If I knew any of the parents I would have probably reached out, but I would say it’s pretty safe to assume they aren’t coming.

  • Anonymous
    May 30

    Op here... thank you all for chiming in. One child ended up coming to the party (outside of family/close friends). He really enjoyed the party which is all that matters! Just wish other parents would get a clue that it is common courtesy to at least acknowledge someone’s effort to include them and their child.

  • Anonymous
    May 30

    Does it help if parties are sent as an evite that includes a reminder to RSVP from the website? If it's only one click for busy parents, perhaps that helps since it takes longer to send an email or make a phone call. We had a pretty high rsvp rate (>80%) for a part of about 50 people recently using an electronic invitation website

  • Junoii
    May 30

    People are just so self involved. An RSVP takes little to no time to respond to, and allows the host to know what to expect . Which is a big deal if you a financially conscious person. Unfortunately, I have seen several occasions where people don’t respond and show up anyway expecting to accommodated or the reverse where now the host has to much stuff left from the event due to lack of attendance. With that being said I would contact the people who you really want there and confirm with them. Also it might be helpful to set up reminders for next event ahead of time and make a point of addressing the failure to RSVP could result in a failure to be accommodated

  • Sara
    May 30

    I seriously do not understand the not RSVPing thing - why do people think that’s okay!? It’s so easy and basic manners. Plus, if you’ve ever thrown a party, you know it’s way easier to plan when you have numbers to go off of. Grinds my gears, man. To give them the benefit of the doubt, though, I think it probably just slips people’s minds. We have had some better luck with RSVPs when we include the word “text” and a date that’s pretty soon (like a week) after they get the invitation. For the most part, if people haven’t replied in the first couple days of getting the invite, they aren’t going to reply. So, mailing on June 1 = “Text Sara at XXX-XXXX by June 9 to let her know if you can make it”. Then we usually still have to follow up with a text for some folks.

  • Randy
    May 30

    Not responding to an RSVP is just plain rude! My daughter, who is in her forties does not understand why people these days are so i irresponsible. Even an email note is better than nothing. Has courtesy gone out the window?

  • Jenny
    May 30

    I’m having this same issue atm. I gave out invites a week ago saying to rsvp by tomorrow and haven’t heard a word. My daughters party is June 8 and I want to be able to have all things bought by this weekend. I’m even having problems with my Facebook event page I sent it to 25 people and only heard from 4 so I have no head count and will probably have to make a total guess on how much to get which sucks because I might be short or too much.

  • Maria
    May 30

    I had my son birthday’s party two weeks ago. I sent the evite 1,5 month before the party. They were 10 kids invited, only 1 declined, and the others didn’t answer. Two weeks before the party I was panicking, so I just asked the parents after school if they were coming. Finally only 3 children attended to the party. I have to say I was pretty mad because if I had known about it before, I would have invited more kids. So I just think it’s rude not to rspv

  • Vonda
    May 30

    I always rsvp or at least let people know if I can’t make it asap. I know how important it is to plan for an event. I’d remind everyone to rsvp again. Some people need an extra nudge. Sometimes you have to say it face to face or over a phone call. It’s not a dying art. I always do rsvp for birthdays, our wedding, parties, etc. It makes sure I plan accordingly so there is less waste and knowing ahead of time is just polite.

  • Mysticnocturne
    Jun 05

    I agree with the people in support of RSVPing. I always do party favors, and I would hate for a kid to be left out because there are not enough, but I also don't want to buy 20 if only 5 kids are attending. I also like it when parents *ASK* is siblings can also attend and not assume that they can. I don't mind- as long as I know in advance- but again- I need to know numbers to make sure there are enough cupcakes and party favors for all the kids.

  • Jennifer
    Jul 25

    I agree with Randy. Not RSVP is rude. My co-worker told me that her daughter's preschool, a mom invited the whole school to attend the daughter 4yr old birthday. Out of 20 people, my co-worker was the only people that attend. That means only 1 kid showed up out of the 20 kids. The birthday girl was so sad and cried. This totally ruined her birthday. So my co-worker is even too scared to invite anyone from that preschool for her own daughter's birthday. She end up taking her daughter to Knotts and had a great time.