Anonymous

Body image issues after having my baby

I feel so embarrassed for even posting this (that’s why it’s anonymous) but do any of you mamas feel like fat ugly blobs after having their baby? I look in the mirror and practically cry at how I look. I lost all of my baby weight (and more) but I’m not as toned out and smooth looking as I used to be. Are there any easy work outs y’all recommend for toning out the fat? Any remedies to make stretch marks go away or at least fade? I want to feel pretty again. I hate the fact that I even feel this way, as there’s so much more to worry about. But I always believed if you look good, you feel good, and I don’t think I look good so I can’t feel good.

  • Anonymous
    May 25

    Girl!!!!! I hear ya. I’m so worried about having my 2nd here in the next week and going immediately into the summer season. I agree with the look good feel good thing... but I also live by the “fake it till u make it” idea. Instead of dwelling on how I look/am going to look, I try to think of all the women out there who would give anything (the look of their bodies included) just to have a child of their own or I think about what an incredible thing my body has been able to do. I’m definitely not trying to make you feel bad because you have every right to feel the way that you do... but you need to be proud of losing the baby weight plus some (which is incredible!)... and know that whether your skin goes back or scars go away that you’re beautiful as is.. yes, find a workout/beauty regimen that helps out... but you should feel good regardless. Good luck!

  • Steff
    May 26

    I am so proud of my stretch marks and skin hanging c section and all that good stuff. I feel like they are battle scars. And I am so proud of my body for going through all that change and surviving. Be proud of your body and embrace the fact that you have the body of a women who went through the battle of birth lol that’s how I see it. I live the way I look, you should too!! Good luck

  • Zelda
    May 26

    I felt the same way you did and I starting doing more pilates. It really helps strengthen and more than anything clears the mind of negative thoughts which helped me cope with all of the new changes I have to live with, including my body. Having a baby was a lot of work and getting back to your old body will too, there's no easy way unfortunately.

  • Anonymous
    May 26

    I feel you lady. I’m in the same boat and I wish I had good advice for you but 1.5 years after baby #2 I’m still having body image issues. It’s sad and pathetic bc I’m a size 4 and in the eyes of outsiders ‘have nothing to complain about’, but I was a 0/2 before kids and I miss it. And you’re right, it’s more about the changes to my body than the overall look, like the weird bits of fat hanging around that I just don’t know how to handle. Muffin top, bra bulge, extra weight in my arms.... none of these were things I ever knew before kids, and again, I’m not fat so it’s frustrating because I feel like I am! I wish I was like Steff above who posted how proud they are of their body, good for you lady! I feel like I’ll never wear a bikini again or go bra-less because my boobs are weird and sag a bit now :( These changes dictate what I wear every day, and I have a closet full of clothes that I feel I’ll never wear again, and it feels like a part of me died with them. I mourn the loss of my pre-baby figure every day. I’m sorry I don’t have better advice but this is real life, this is a real thing some women feel and it’s okay to admit it. It’s okay to feel this way and I’m tired of people acting like we should just get over it, like it should be totally okay our whole bodies changed for the worse and that we should love every thing about it. Anyway. Much love. Your feelings are valid. End rant.

  • Anonymous
    May 26

    I’m the same way ^^ I was in size 3s now I am size 5s I don’t feel good bout my body’s Bc it’s not toned enough. And I wouldn’t say I’m fat either I’m at 130 but going from 120 my whole life and then gaining 10lbs it’s just I want to be more tone. So I have an app women workout and it has like good 7min workouts and it always tells me 20min working out a day and eating the right calories will make a difference. Going for walks is a good one to. Maybe try to work out with your little one if appropriate. Like everybody’s at be proud of your body Bc you just gave life but it’s ok that you want it more toned and make yourself even more happy bout your self!!

  • Anonymous
    May 27

    I just wanted to say, thank all of you for all the kind words. I’m not happy that we all feel this way, but happy that we can all support each other. I feel a lot better now, I think doing some sit ups and walking would make me feel a whole lot better. My bf suggested “high waisted bathing suit bottoms” as a joke to hide my belly, but I actually liked the idea and I wanted to share that with you all 😂 thanks again for everything. I bet you’re all some super hot mamas❤️

  • Sara
    May 28

    Amen to the high-waisted bottoms! How convenient that they have become trendy just in time for us new mamas to hide some stretch marks and baby pooch 😂. They seriously have some cute options out there! I second everyone who has posted - both those who said how valid your feelings are and those who noted how truly awesome your new body is, even if it looks different. I’ve been having a really hard time with this too, and, like you, am also beating myself up for worrying about it because there are so many more important things (not to mention, eventually this little person is going to look at me for insight into how to love his own body, and I’ve gotta have something better for him than feeling 😩 about myself). For me, the hardest part of suddenly being in a new body that looks (and works!) so differently is that I feel not myself. There’s definitely identity in how you physically look and feel, and our identities have already had such a shake up as we’ve become moms. I think it’s totally reasonable to have a hard time with being in a new body. What’s been helping me is trying to focus on specifics that are good, and some that are even better (hey there, D-cups). My body may have an extra layer or two of fluff, but that fluff is on top of some really strong muscles from holding and bouncing my kid all day 💪🏻. My arms are way more squish than tone these days, but they are a soft place for my baby boy to lay his head when I’m rocking him to sleep. It’s not all bad. Try to give yourself grace and don’t forget that even if it’s a little softer these days, your body is totally badass for growing and birthing a child! Seriously, when you feel like your body is less capable than it used to be, remember that it did that. But most of all, know that you’re not alone in feeling this way. ♥️

  • Anonymous
    May 30

    I'm 88 lbs (I'm 4'11") and I feel like an ugly blob too. Just because I'm tiny doesn't mean I like my body any more than someone larger. My boobs are so floppy and the only muscle definition I have anymore is in my arms (from carrying my daughter a lot). I am more self conscious about wearing shorts and bathing suits than I ever thought I would be and I'm the person I used to make fun of for wanting the lights off during sex. I mostly miss my old boobs but I also miss my thighs, my leg muscles, my stomach (it bloats so much more now after I eat). I used to weigh slightly more and I miss it. I have to shop in the kids section for clothes so much more now and it's depressing. I feel like I'm not a "real" woman :(. The only time I feel sexy is when I get dressed up and put on heels. That doesn't happen often though and even then, it's all over once I get naked.

  • Andrea
    May 30

    I totally felt odd and shapeless after having a baby but give yourself time: a year or two later I felt normal again. My body slowly returned to itself without doing anything really special. Give yourself more time to recover. You may never look exactly the way you did, but you won’t be a postpartum mess either! It gets better!

  • Vonda
    May 30

    I completely understand. I got back to pre-baby weight but my stomach has not toned up yet. Muscles we stretched a lot during pregnancy. (And don’t get me started on the boobs. Lol) Son is 20months. But I am now starting to work out. Finally feel ready. I recommend ‘fitness blender’ they have free videos on YouTube and a website if you want to pay. I was doing some of their workouts pre-pregnancy and during to help my back and loved them. Don’t worry about not looking as before. I know it’s hard because we are used to the body we’ve stared at for years and it’s no longer there. But now we get a new body. One that brought a baby into this world. Be proud of that. And you lost the baby weight. Congrats! As long as you are healthy, you are good. That’s important. Everything else is extra. :)

  • Maddie
    Jun 05

    Something that helped me was rethinking what clothes look good on my new body NOW (not hanging on to those tight low rise jeans and crop tops as “motivation” to one day fit back into them). This is hard, because we spend decades learning our own style and what flatters our figure. But investing the time and energy into figuring this out for my new body has helped a lot. Sometimes the size 8 looks better on me than the size 4 (what I would have worn pre pregnancy). Remember that no one knows what size you’re wearing, and if it helps you can cut the tag out for yourself :) but wearing clothes that fit well and make you feel confident is so key.

  • A
    Jun 20

    Wow I needed to come across this post actually started to comment and got upset and went to bed...I was always strong never skinny but comfortable in my skin and now it just sucks. It sucks getting ready for work, it sucks getting ready to go out on date night and to put a swim suit on is just miserable. I’m not over weight but I’m not ‘me’ and it’s horrible. I miss that person I miss being strong and feeling like I could do anything and enjoying myself in life. I’m not comfortable in swim suit around friends, clothes don’t fit properly it’s rough and discouraging. I work up to 12 hours a day and my job mentally exhausts me which makes me not want to work out when I get home. I try hard not to be too hard on my self- I’m thankful for this journey and that my son is happy and healthy I just wish I felt that about myself. Stay positive momma we have to right