Posted in Family Life, In-Laws

Boundaries

Anonymous

I’m struggling with holding my tongue with my mother in law right now. I thought our head count for our child’s first birthday party was done until I get one of our invites “return to sender” with her handwriting on it. SHE SENT OUT OUR INVITES to people and we didn’t even know but I’m curious as to how she got her hands on them. I was already ordering food and cake with the head count I already had to this point but now I have no idea who else she sent things to and if I should have to wait OR how this will affect the budget we had in place for a small get together that she has decided to add people to herself. Am I wrong in being angry. It isn’t the first time she’s overstepped in our house.

  • Anonymous
    Apr 16

    You’re not wrong at all! That sounds like something my mother in law would do. She doesn’t respect our boundaries/rules at all, thinks she can do her own thing. I would say keep the plan/budget you already have, if she has something to say about it then i would tell her that you didn’t personally invite these people so how could you have known to plan for them all being there. Have you tried talking to her about it? Or maybe have your s/o say something?

  • Anonymous
    Apr 16

    Yes ... she doesn’t listen to him or her other son. She does what she wants because everyone in her life has catered to her whims but I don’t. I wasn’t raised that way

  • Anonymous
    Apr 16

    Who did she invite? Her own friends? I agree with first poster! Don’t cater to this people. Maybe it will be awkward for you at the party, but it will send her a message. Additionally, set boundaries AND consequences if she doesn’t respect them. That would drive me insane! My mom is bad... but not like that.

  • anonymous mom
    Apr 30

    Why did the mother in law cross the road? Because she thought it was a boundary. I would honestly give my husband exactly one chance to talk to his mother and try to fix the damage she’s done and if he didn’t want to or didn’t do it correctly I’d pick up the phone myself and be the one to set her straight. I’d also tell her that she had two options: 1- uninvite the guests she sent invites to 2- plan to cater to her guests at your child’s party because you don’t plan to And I’d wrap up the call by explaining to her that the next time she boundary stomps you will not be kind. She will be losing privileges to even visit with her grandchild if she ever pulls even the smallest boundary stomping again. This is just the FIRST party. You have to take control now or it will just continue to snowball.

  • Anonymous
    May 26

    Call her out! That’s so rude.