Posted in Pre-Teens, Blended Families
Lou

Calling all experienced step parents.. what has been your best way to deal with a very dramatic 14 year old with ADD? I’d like to improve on how to deal with her when she starts to become manipulative and find a healthy approach to motivate her to choose strength over manipulation lol I’m hoping this is possible

  • Andrea
    Apr 21, 2018

    Have you heard of 1-2-3 Magic?

  • Penny
    Apr 21, 2018

    Andrea - What is 1-2-3 Magic?

  • Andrea
    Apr 21, 2018

    1-2-3 Magic is a non-violent discipline system that teaches emotional intelligence. It’s from the 80s I believe. The DVD is still around on Amazon and the book is available on Audible. The system teaches the parent to learn the types of manipulative/negative behaviors and address them immediately. The kids have a chance to nip it after being warned. We’ve been using it for about a year on both kids (ADD). This was HUGE for me because I’m a new stepmom and punishing the kids was a nightmare for me. This equipped me and has made a massive difference.

  • Penny
    Apr 21, 2018

    Man I need this

  • Andrea
    Apr 21, 2018

    Penny - it’s a game changer. It’s used at our house and their moms house. The funny thing is — it saves you so much drama. Like it’s more for your benefit than theirs.

  • Penny
    Apr 21, 2018

    I have a step son and he will argue about everything. His mom hates me .

  • Lou
    Apr 21, 2018

    Thanks everyone

  • Andrea
    Apr 21, 2018

    Penny - there was a LOT of bad blood between my husband and their mom. So much that I got fed up and threw all of us in Counseling so that we had a referee. It worked though lol. We still have agitations but it’s nothing like it was

  • Danni
    Apr 21, 2018

    Coming from first hand experience of being a melodramatic teen with ADHD I can say the only thing that works is consistent love and support. Ur a step parent so they pretty much never assume ur gna be around forever and maybe even like their biological father better if he’s in the pic and feel ur trying to replace him. Just be loving. One on one time is crucial. Take her to the movies, to the mall or something just u two on a regular basis so it becomes a habituated bonding experience. But don’t sacrifice ur dignity if she’s in a foul mood. When my stepdad did that as a child it just made me lose respect for him. My favorite times were just authentic, honest and spur of the moment time together like driving to get ice cream.