Childish grandparents ruining my baby’s day

How do other parents handle divorced grandparents that act like high schoolers? This is not the first incident with them not getting along when it comes to celebrating the baby. The gender reveal party was a nightmare. I am planning my daughters 2nd birthday & it’s difficult for me because my step mother is not a fan of me & my mom. She has actually said that if my mom is there my she won’t attend & that was for my wedding. 🤦🏻‍♀️ It’s heart breaking because my daughter barely has a relationship with my dad & it’s not his fault. My mother has a gorgeous backyard & i would love to throw her party there. It’s financially our best idea. My mom is so welcoming to them & has no problem with them coming, but that risks my step mom pulling some sh*t and my dad not being able to be a part of it. I am torn. Does anyone have advice on dealing with childish step parents??

  • Anonymous
    Mar 06

    This is what I live by: I do what’s best for my kid. Those who love him will show up and those who don’t won’t. Have the party at your moms like YOU want and if your dad decides not to go then it’s HIS loss and you guys will have a great day regardless! He’s a grown man and if he can’t make his own decisions then there’s nothing you can do about that.

  • Vicki
    Mar 06

    So you say it’s not your dad’s fault, but it is. He can control his own behavior and if that means showing up and cultivating a relationship with your kid while his wife throws a hissy fit, so be it. You won’t ever change these people so move on and as the response above says, do what’s best for your child. Don’t waste another minute stressing over this. Have the party where you want, invite who you want and have a great time.

  • Anonymous
    Mar 06

    Your dad doesn't have to brig your step mom. And quite frankly I don't see why he would want to be with someone who treats you like this. So in a way, it is his fault too.

  • anonymous mom
    Mar 06

    You have the best party that fits your and your daughters needs. People who want to come will come. To hell with everyone else. Is harsh but oh well. I have a huge family with lots of exes and in laws and blah blah blah. I grew up with both my parents having ex husbands or wives and they were all cordial and nice to one another. My moms ex husband even came to our house every year for Christmas dinner and he was at my dads funeral and cried along with all of us. There are always bad seeds though and I treat them the same way I regard picky eating. You get what you get. If you don’t like it, tough. You don’t get exceptions to the rule just because you’re an adult acting like a child!!!

  • Anonymous
    Mar 06

    Hi! Sorry if I sound mean but she's only your step mom..I would just talk to your dad and if he shows then that's wonderful and if he doesn't then well you know where his priority is..do what works for you and your family..continue to plan it the way you want to plan it..she's only your step mom

  • Lindsey
    Mar 09

    I have so much experience with this... and it took me a long time but you need to set boundaries with them. And your dad should stand up to her and be there for his grandchild. You need to say this is a party for my child and if you act inappropriate don’t come at all. Your child does not need toxic people in her life. It is a hard thing to do but so necessary.

  • T
    May 09

    Is your dad not an adult? Is he not capable of standing in his truth? If so then he actually IS to blame. Once children are in the picture it becomes about doing what is best for them. Good luck 🍀