Comments about multiple children

I keep hearing that families with multiple children get all kinds of verbal attacks and comments from strangers. As I am preparing for baby #3 I keep wondering what those are. So far I have not gotten any negative comments, only congrats even though I have my two other toddlers with me. I just don't want to be caught off guard as I easily start crying for several months postpartum (once I almost cried because somebody told me my baby was beautiful). If there is a story or frequent comment you could share it would help me toughen up.

  • JJ
    Aug 06

    Ignore rude comments. Walk away. They’re not worth your time or energy and it’s none of their business.

  • Yopolos
    Aug 06

    I have three kids under four. I don’t get rude comments. I occasionally get a well meaning but annoying person who tries to help by parenting when they think I’m not (god forbid I want my kids to learn to do things themselves, or I know them well enough that they don’t need a spotter on a park climbing apparatus). I mostly get jokes of “ youve got your hands full, or you are busy!” Which I don’t mind. It’s true. But I love it and I tell them so. We’ll see if the tide turns on public opinion if we have number 4.

  • Sarah
    Aug 06

    I have 3 wonderful boys (8,7,2). My husband still wants another one and I'm warming up to the idea. My mother is the one who I get the negative comments from all of the time. It sucks but I think she is the main reason I'm not ready to try again, I just don't want to hear it. Yes my hands are full, yes kids are expensive, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

  • Christy
    Aug 06

    I have a question for all the mom's on here with multiple children: I am a mother of one and she is all I can handle.... When I see mom's with multiple children I will - admittedly - sometimes say, "May God bless you, because I couldn't do it!" I am not trying to be rude, but like... Empathetic? Like, I want to acknowledge them for their hard work as a mother. But I am only a stranger and can't find a better way to strike up a conversation to properly tell them that. Am I wrong to say something like that? How can I show better appreciation for them [make their day better]?

  • Jennie
    Aug 06

    @Christy, I'll say it's not my favorite comment. It kind of feels like "what kind of crazy person would put themself in that situation?!" Today a dental assistant said "what a blessing that you're able to have that many kids" and I think that was basically the same sentiment you have but phrased a little more respectfully. I think if anything saying something positive like "you have beautiful kids" or "you're doing a kickass job" or "I was just noticing how great of a mom you are" comes off more as a compliment than "I couldn't do that!"

  • Christy
    Aug 06

    Thank you, @ Jennie

  • Jennie
    Aug 06

    Thank you for asking! And for sharing your thoughts. It's always best when people can speak freely and gain perspective 😁

  • Simone
    Aug 07

    I have 5 kids and I know the feeling. When I had 3 I was asked if the kids all had the same father. People talk about my fertility or ask me when I’m done and silly stuff like that. It’s annoying. Like...yes, I have 5 kids, yes they’re all with my husband...just ignore it. Some people mean well and some people just have to open their mouth. People tell me “I don’t know how you do it” and I want to say “well damnit Brenda, I don’t know how I do it either!” But ignore the comments. Plenty people are curious and some are just silly assholes.

  • Jennie
    Aug 07

    @simone I'm lol-ing at your response. My husband and I were just talking about what they right response is. We we're laughing at all the funny things we could say but yours takes the cake! I was thinking "you totally could! You'd be awesome!" 😂

  • George
    Aug 07

    Haters are gonna hate, they can go home to their cats.

  • Christy
    Aug 07

    @Simone, I honestly would have loved to hear your response! 😂 I think it is appropriate 😀

  • Meri
    Aug 07

    It is so much easier to just ignore, if you know what's coming. I really don't care, but my body tends to disagree with me. I blush, my heart rate goes up and I get really uncomfortable. Already with two kids we get a lot of "you got your hands full", which is fine by me. I still don't really know what people mean by that. Also, my husband gets it more, I probably look too scary to be talked to 😁. I guess some people will be offended by any kind of comment. To me, the way one says it is more important than what is said. Possibly because English is not my native language so I mess up a lot myself and say things that sound rude. So I forgive a lot of awkward comments.

  • Rufichka
    Aug 08

    R u serious? Why? Tell me Why would you even think about it? It's your life, it's your happiness! And let the other people stay aside out of your happiness! Enjoy your happy moments !

  • Laura
    Aug 10

    Just ignore them. IMO 3 children is still a normal family, not a large family. I'm my dad's 7th child (out of a total of 9). My mom was his 2nd wife and I was her 5th and last child. They both came from very small families and wanted their kids to have lots of siblings. My mom got "baby factory" comments starting around kid #4. Of course my dad wanted a dozen kids (no matter how many times he had to remarry in order to achieve that) and being a man, no one ever made any snide remarks towards him! Anyway, all this to say that you should ignore any rude comments you get -- as long as you're supporting your family and not living on welfare, why should it be anyone else's business how many children you have? They're not paying for them.

  • Carol
    Aug 10

    Absolutely enjoy your large family. I think that some comments relate to the fact that kids are time-consuming, even one. So many people wonder how you can manage it. So remember Love multiplies, not divides!