Posted in In-Laws, Marriage & Partnership, Money

Comparing how much we help our parents/families?

Anonymous

How do you deal/handle your emotions when your spouse feels they have helped your family enough, and if anyone asks for anything, the answer is no? Or my spouse said the exact words “what have you sacrificed for my family”. I didn’t even ask if we could lend my father money to float his business, I only told him that my mom told me he wanted to borrow money but she told him not to ask the kids. Maybe I’m wrong to even bring it up, but I was just testing out his response, I NEVER intended to ask him. I don’t even know if using the word “ask” is correct? I had more money than he did before we got married, but that’s just nitpicking..

  • Anonymous
    May 02

    Has his family ever asked for help with anything? If so, would you feel comfortable with helping them out as your husband has been willing to help out yours (even though you didn’t ask)? I would respond to your husband’s words that if his family ever needed any help that you would be willing to help out as he has done for yours. It’s just fair. But also all decisions to help someone money wise, especially if your finances are shared should be made together. So it’s not just you “sacrificing” - I like the word “helping” better - but you BOTH as a couple.

  • Anonymous
    May 05

    Recently, my husband and I have been talking about this too. We loaned some money to my sister with her purchase of a house. If need be I’m gonna help my brother out too; which my husband is on board with. The thing is his mother has been asking him to help her with her mortgages; which I don’t agree with as she makes way more money than my husband but isn’t managing her money right. I’ve been sahm since our kiddo’s birth and that definitely throws a wrench in the money department. And like you I had more money saved up than him and helped pay for his credit card and student loan debt. Idk how u handled it or ur relationship or ur situation but we would have a war if my husband said something like that. Why would I need to sacrifice anything for his family; quit my job and gave him a kid.... in my opinion more than done. But, my situation is different as we r interracial couple and family was against the relationship and marriage.