Posted in Behavior, Child's Health, Grade Schoolers, Mental Health

Depression in a 5YO

Anonymous

My five year old is showing signs of depression. Hes been very sensitive, when he cries he says things like i just want to be sad. I dont deserve to be happy. A few times he said things like hes done with his life. Mind you he lives a very good life. He does not get spankings. When hes in trouble and i move towards him only to talk he freaks out and yells sorry repeatedly. We never gave him the impression of trying to hurt him. I dont understand where all of this is coming from. Please any advice will help.

  • Angel
    Aug 05, 2018

    Are you sure someone else isnt doing something to him maybe when u arent in the picture..those seem more like signs somethings going on maybe someone his age or an adult usually someone very close and accessible to the child .not saying anything is going on but do some mommy investing in his personal life .nanny cam to see what goes on during the day because if u dont spank him he shouldn’t be showing that type of behavior when being disciplined js

  • Anonymous
    Aug 05, 2018

    Nothing like that I'm a stay at home mom at the moment. So it's me 24/7 I try to get him out the house most times he doesn't want to even go outside. I let him have his tablet which I do monitor so he doesn't watch anything not made for him. I just don't know where it's coming from.

  • Anonymous
    Aug 05, 2018

    We do stay with in-laws at the moment since we just moved to Texas. So idk if it's the change of environment or what. But we been staying with them for almost two years.

  • Angel
    Aug 05, 2018

    Ohh ok well hopefully its a faze I know it’s difficult seeing little man sad like that .he could just be a little sensitive guy.

  • Angel
    Aug 05, 2018

    But on the safe side be cautious i dont trust anyone not even family tbh .it be the ones right under your nose .

  • Kate
    Aug 05, 2018

    Sorry to hear that your little guy is having a tough time. Consider getting him seen/evaluated by a professional. Depression and other mental health disorders may be less common in children, but they aren’t unheard of. Solutions can range from talk therapy to medication. Find a trusted psychologist, psychiatrist or therapist and, if nothing more, you’ll be able rule out or uncover any serious problems.

  • Steph
    Aug 05, 2018

    I think therapy/ counseling or someone to talk to is good for anyone at any age. It’s hard being a kid, when you don’t understand your emotions. I would definitely have some one professional talk to him, he may only be 5 but I would say mental health is even more important on developing brains. It couldn’t hurt and he may learn how to handle his feelings better so he can use those tools for life. It could be a phase, sure, but he also could continue feeling this way and it may become just not as obvious to you. I suffered from depression and anxiety from around age 7, everyone just blew it off as shyness, I wish there was someone there so I would have had a easier time in the harder phases before adulthood. He may not have depression but if he gets help now he may be happier in life, right now. I wish I could offer simpler quick fixes. There’s such a stigma and no one wants to bring their kid to a therapist or psychologist, but I think it’s more important that your boy is back to being a happy kid, allll the time, not just sometimes. Wish you all the best!

  • Rosy
    Aug 06, 2018

    So, my son is 7 and around 5 he started doing things like what you’re talking about. Depression and anxiety issues run in my husband’s family so I was definitely aware of things he would say that would give me red flags. For him, it was like he was afraid of messing up and he would just verbally beat himself up over the smallest “failures”. I spoke with some friends at our church, they are a husband/wife team with a ton of education in family counseling and child development. I was so relieved to hear that it is normal!!! They gave some good advice. First, they talked again about how their identity is not the same as their behavior or environment and that their identity needs to be very secure on who they are as a person and that we all realize and reiterate that behavior does not equal identity. Second, they gave this wonderful ah-ha moment idea that kids, especially those who are an only child, see their parents doing things successfully all day long and themselves messing up and needing help all day every day. Tying shoelaces, buckling seatbelts, pouring milk, brushing teeth, etc. By talking to him and telling stories when we were young and learning these things, talking about us still learning and making mistakes, even watching videos on YouTube of people making mistakes and even trying again, it has really helped. We have him in piano lessons because he can see others doing the same thing and making mistakes and also teaches him to try again (and he’s just plain talented with it). He still has his moments, but they’ve gotten SO much better, and we really saw an improvement pretty quickly. The other thing they said was that it’s ok to just give them a bit of tough love on certain things, too. Our son calls himself “dumb” when he messes up or feels bad about something and they said it’s perfectly ok to let him know that’s not true or acceptable to say. If he says it, he has to give himself 5 compliments, and sometimes if he’s saying it more often, he has to write out 5 sentences (since he’s a bit older now). I also give him plenty of reasons why it isn’t true. Sorry, this got long!! I wouldn’t rule out talking to someone if you don’t see any improvement, but you can try those things first if you’d like!

  • Anonymous
    Aug 06, 2018

    Thank you everyone!! You guys gave me some great advice. I'll definitely will be trying to make this situation better.

  • Mare
    Aug 07, 2018

    When I was 4, my parents took me to a psychologist because I was having night terrors and separation anxiety. I remember loving it. We got to draw pictures and play games and it really helped me (and my parents) learn techniques (I went back to her again in 5th grade and she was great again!). I still have anxiety as an adult but learning those coping mechanisms at a young age really helped.

  • Mikita
    Aug 14, 2018

    Some times are things that they see on the screen and they repeat