Posted in In-Laws, Marriage & Partnership, Relationships

Does anyone else have this same situation?

Anonymous

My mother in law can be a bit overbearing sometimes. She was a teacher and I try to give her the benefit of the doubt at times because it seems to be in her nature to be authoritative and take control. When it comes to my toddler, I don’t like the fact that she’s always asking, “Did you do this or did you do that?!” I don’t need her questioning me all of the time when it comes to my child. When we go somewhere, she tries to say do this and that when it comes to him or look into his bag to make sure I packed it right! It’s driving me crazy! I’ve spoken up about this before and it seems to not phase her. It’s like I’m in the wrong by speaking up about it b/c seems like she takes offense when I stand up and say something about it to her. My husband acts all nonchalant about it. I’m just wondering...has anyone else gone through something similar?

  • Anonymous
    Mar 13

    Yes I have been there. And I know it's gonna be the same forever. Because it's her nature that's control freak. And not sure about yours but mine thinks she knows it all. And we need to follow as she wants. It has nothing to do with you. Got the same husband as you too. He is like it's her nature... Get over with. Are you freaking kidding me.. She is all over the place. Mine cries when I stand up and say something and then things goes directly to respect and my family values. So I know wht you are feeling. I would suggest not to take things to your heart and ignore her as much as you can. Few people are like that and the fact that you can not change anyone s behavior. I know it's not much of a help but knowing the fact that you are nto alone helps..

  • Anonymous
    Mar 14

    Have a talk with her and if she doesn't stop shut her down the minute she does it. If you let it go now you'll be stuck with it.

  • Andrea
    Mar 14

    I can definitely relate to this! My mother in law is a huge know-it-all and does not respect boundaries or know her place as grandma (she tries to be a third parent). My husband used to be the same as yours and just dismiss his mother’s inappropriate and rude comments as being “just how she is.” Your mother in law is controlling and is used to getting her way, likely because no one in her own family wants to deal with her reaction to being told “no.” However, you are the woman of your own household. You are both adults on equal footing. You don’t answer to her. You are “Mom” and “wife,” not her. She needs to respect you and she isn’t currently. I would recommend marriage counseling with a therapist who has experience dealing with in-law issues. It really helped my marriage! Your husband should be shutting his mother down when she interferes. He needs to realize that allowing her to keep disrespecting and annoying you is going to take a major toll on your marriage (and if you haven’t told him that already...tell him).

  • Anonymous
    Mar 14

    Thanks so much ladies! It’s good to know that I’m not alone in this situation. I’ve had this talk with him time and time again. It’s like he’s afraid to stand up to his mother, but I’ve already had to shut it down myself to her. Not in a disrespectful way, but a way to get through to her; again it still doesn’t phase her one bit. I don’t see how me standing up to her is disrespectful(so she says). Therapy I think would be good and a part from having postpartum at the same time was an issue. I’d snap in a minute if anyone got on my bad side or try to tell me what to do.