Posted in Developmental Disorders, Family Life, Milestones & Development, Toddlers

Does every child learn different

Anonymous

Hello I’m a first-time mom to a two-year-old little boy. My question is this does every child two years old have a certain timeframe to learn certain things. The reason behind this is because yesterday I came home from a hard days work for his grandparents to Yell at me and say that my son is slow.My son is currently in daycare and he is one of their best children there. He knows how to count sing tell you when he wants something. he isn’t great with talking as far as saying certain words currently. He turned two in September I think he’s on the right path. He catches on quickly and know what’s right and wrong. His grandparents went to a birthday party and saw other two-year-olds that can I guess speak clear sentences and they judging my child by that. They also got mad because I want my son to learn Spanish as my son is half trinidadian and Spanish. I do want my son to be trilingual. I speak to my son in Spanish sometimes and also at daycare they do help and that was out of my request. He does understand English very well As we mostly speak English . Should I be OK with his grandparents seeing my son is slow and that I have to get a new daycare and he’s been there for almost a year. His dad feels like I’m overreacting. But I think it’s disrespectful and rude. My son is very smart and a lot of people say that he catches on quickly and he knows a lot he may not talk clearly but he can talk. if I felt he was delayed or notice any issues I would address them. They told my boyfriend (father) and he told him to pay for a better daycare. The daycare also tells you how there doing. Ive seen a huge change in his learning since staying daycare. I’ve even went and sat there for full days I feel like I was disrespected as they were judging/ comparing my son to other kids. .. Any advice?

  • B
    Dec 24, 2018

    Yes, they are probably over reacting, and you can be upset for a second but get over it. It seems like out of concern, and there are general comparisons that can be made. If you’re worried about language ask your doctor about it and they can tell you if he needs some extra help. Sounds like he might be a little behind on language but that often happens with multiple languages.

  • Raji
    Dec 24, 2018

    For me I guess it depends on how close the grandparents relationship is to you and your son. They can be concerned but that doesn’t mean they can yell at you even if they are upset. I would consider how their relationship is to your child as I wouldn’t want my kid’s grandparents to bring their toxicity around my kid. Teaching multiple languages is great and keep it up; as for his speaking skills if you get concerned talk to doc. Keep it up mom; your son sounds great!

  • MommyDear
    Dec 24, 2018

    I too have a 2 year old son whom we are also trying to teach 3 languages since his dad is Romanian & I am Mexican, English will be an automatic of course. I have seen my son pick up a lot in the past couple months yet I have some friends who’s sons are around the same age yet barely say a word. It is normal to compare, I think we all do that at some point or another and the grandparents might only say it out of concern but don’t let that bother you, I have no doubt you guys are doing the best you can just like the rest of us and your baby boy will learn at his own pace. If you are still concerned, ask his doctor so you can get that doubt/concern out of the way.

  • Estefani
    Dec 24, 2018

    Totally normal to have a little delay in speech when learning multiple languages. I’ve got a 7year old that was speaking clearly by 15months and my 2nd now 16months and oh jade a hand full of words. Don’t worry, and try and ignore older generations silly judgments. ✌🏽

  • Cheryl
    Dec 24, 2018

    You raise your kid how you want. Don’t let anyone, even your parents tell you that he is slow. It sounds to me like he is doing great. You keep your head up high! People will always be judging you. Brush it off.

  • Anonymous
    Dec 24, 2018

    Thank you!! I have NO concerns with his learning one bit. His grandparents never said anything like this it was always “he’s to smart for his age” ect until this party. In which they (from what grandpa said) asked other parents there how old each child was and compared my son to there’s. I just feel as it was rude there could of been a better way to address there concerns.. and they were also just “mad” I’m teaching him Spanish.. but thank you I guess how I see it his own grandparents just switched up and flat out called him slow and was mad disappointed .. they are high class .

  • Anonymous
    Dec 25, 2018

    First of all, yes all children learn differently and excel in different areas. For example, one child may have very good verbal skills but their motor skills may be delayed. It doesn’t mean anything. Also, it is common for your child to be a little delayed in communication because he is growing up bilingual; which in the long run is an advantage. I would let this roll off my back because grandparents do not have a clear memory of what it was like to raise their own children. My mother insisted my daughter was delayed in verbal skills although she could say about 25 words by the time she was 12 months old; she INSISTED other babies were speaking in sentences by that age. Also my father in law also remembers my husband speaking to him in full sentences at around 1. I just roll my eyes and keep it moving, I have yet to meet a 1 year old who can hold q full blown conversation haha

  • Anonymous
    Dec 25, 2018

    I hope grandparents aren’t saying anything like that in front of your son though, because one thing I can tell you is they may not speak but they sure understand!

  • Lindsay
    Dec 26, 2018

    Oh man that’s really hard when someone tells you that, especially a loved one! But your kiddo is probably a bright kid. Daycare knows better in this case bc they see him everyday. My son clams up around my in-laws bc he doesn’t see them as much so they probably think the same thing. Also, my son was walking and sorting shapes super super early but talking came much later. Kids hit milestones differently and I realized if they are early in one area of development it could mean another area was put on the mental back burner. I would only be concerned if you LO isn’t hitting any milestones which doesn’t sound like the case! I’m sorry that was said to you though. That’s so upsetting.

  • Anonymous
    Dec 26, 2018

    I agree with @lindsay about the milestones. Many people look at this like they’re child should be doing ABC all at once. Kids around age 2 can also be very open or very shy around certain people and environments. My 3 year old is a chatterbox, loves to sing, knows her alphabet and numbers. But will not talk or sing around my parents or DH mom so ofcourse everyone thinks we lie saying she does all this talking. Most people won’t compare your kid to another until like for you that party gave them someone to compare.

  • Birdie
    Dec 26, 2018

    Tell them that if they feel he should be in a better daycare, if they fully pay for it then you’ll switch. They haven’t had a child in daycare in a while so I’m guessing they don’t know how expensive a “state of the art” daycare costs. Every child develops in they’re own time. As long as he understands & responds accordingly he’ll talk more when he’s ready. I’ve run into those parents who’s kid talks in full sentences. Everyone said “it literally happened over night”, “one day it just clicked”.

  • Elissa
    Dec 26, 2018

    Your son sounds fine to me! As everyone else is saying, sometimes bilingual/trilingual children are a little slower to actually speak. But most understand the languages even if they aren’t speaking. And also, a lot of time boys are just slower to speak. Ask your in laws if they understand three languages like he does lol