Posted in Marriage & Partnership, For Dads, Trying to Conceive

Does trying to have a second child make you subconsciously feel like a sperm donor?

Anonymous

Not sure if this is a unique thought process, but my wife and I have been trying to have another baby for a couple of months now. Maybe I’m crazy, but this whole process makes me feel like I’m just part of the process. It’s very unromantic, and one so far is such a handful. I’m feeling pretty stressed, and my wife hasn’t really asked me if I’m ready at this point. Anyone experience similar feelings?

  • Anonymous
    Apr 21

    It sounds like you aren’t on the same page about having (or trying to have) another child. You could try talking in a space without the stress of your current kid (babysitter? Grandparent day?) about it do that you and she can understand what you both are expecting. Stress can effect fertility on both sides - a good way to reduce some of that is clear & caring communication.

  • Anonymous
    Apr 23

    Oh yes. We tried for almost two years for our third baby. The problem for me was my wife only wanted to try when the calendar said we should or when the ovalation test said so. It all felt very mechanical and pressured. Like you say it was unromantic and didn’t help us feel closer as a couple. Sure I thought I wanted the baby but it wasn’t enjoyable just stressful. Really stressful. To the point I was seriously questioning if I really wanted to have another baby. We talked about it and decided to stop using the ovulation test, and calendar and just let it happen. Everything improved and wasn’t so stressful anymore. Anyway I don’t have too much advice but you definitely aren’t alone feeling that. And don’t worry too much about two kids. It’s really nice to have a sibling to play with the other one.

  • CheerioMama
    May 21

    Yep. It kind of takes the fun out of sex honestly. The fun comes back once your pregnant because the pressure is gone. Don’t worry! It’s probably only temporary!