Anonymous

Dreading breastfeeding/pumping

Any other mommas who dislike this part of motherhood? I am due with baby 2 soon and am completely dreading breastfeeding and pumping. I know it’s best for my baby but I had a bad experience the first time and felt like I was chained to the pump trying to get my supply up 12 hours a day. Eventually we were forced to supplement which did wonders for my emotional/mental health as well as finally allowed my son to gain weight and be a much happier baby, however I felt shamed because I was giving my baby formula! I’m dreading having to go through it again, the pressure and stress if they are gaining weight, not knowing exactly how much they are eating, My tiny uncooperative nipples ugh, being trapped to the pump while sleep deprived. They never tell you how stressful and hard it is, I always thought it was this beautiful thing that the baby just knew how to do (LOL). Please tell me I am not alone and not a terrible mother lol!!

  • Raji
    Jan 07

    You are not alone and definitely not a terrible mother. Breastfeeding is one of the hardest things about motherhood; in my opinion. I couldn’t get much with pumping but was able to breastfeed. As long as baby is fed that is all that matters. If you can this time, great if not you tried. Don’t stress about it. There’s more to motherhood than breastfeeding.

  • Anonymous
    Jan 07

    I really want a second one but I’m also dreading the pumping lol. My son had a lip tie that we didn’t want corrected and my nipples are a difficult shape so I had to exclusively pump. Mastitis is a b**** and I felt like a prisoner to the pump. Our freezer was just full of breastmilk so we didn’t have fast frozen meals to eat. And then my husband saw me as a cash cow because of all the money we were saving from formula and also my son never got sick until I stopped pumping. I went through a depression period when I was pumping all the time and then I went through another one when I had to give up the pump because I had this crazy notion that it would make me less of a mother. You’re not alone!! And I’m not even pregnant nor are we trying right now 😂

  • Laura
    Jan 07

    Reading the book Lactivism really gave me some perspective about how we got to current (overblown) views around how breast is best. Do what works for your family and know that your child will be just fine no matter what.

  • Katie
    Jan 07

    Nope, you’re not alone! I’m dreading that guilt that I’ll feel when I give up and switch to formula because I’m about to lose my mind with the leaking, failure to latch, pumping, etc.

  • Anonymous
    Jan 07

    IM SO HAPPY YOU SAID THIS. I feel the exact same way! I’m truly worried to try for a second for this reason exactly. I didn’t have a hard time breast feeding, my son was actually a champ. I just did not care for it what so ever. It made me feel like I was trapped! I feel the same pressure. I know essentially we can bottle feed if we want but the judgement is so overwhelming :(

  • Foufou
    Jan 07

    Ladies...do what is best for YOU!! Don’t listen to others! If you believe breastfeeding is the way to go good for you! Formula? Good for you! As long as baby is being fed! I breastfed my first for 6 months and I remember sitting on the recliner for hours with boobs out just ready for my kid whenever she needed. I personally love breastfeeding but second baby around he got used to the bottle nipple at the hospital (he stayed 4 days extra due to infection) and I was pumping. Never pumped before...I can honestly say I HATE pumping! After 2 months of trying to give him breast milk I gave up...well my boobs did I didn’t even feel the transition. At the end of the day my baby is happy healthy and goes to sleep with a full tummy thank God. Family members told me to lie and say I was still breastfeeding or I breastfed longer than 2 months. At first I did but then I’m like why?? Who cares!! They aren’t taking care of my baby they aren’t feeding him so why lie. Do what makes you and your baby happy and everyone else can suck it :)

  • Brianne
    Jan 07

    People who pressure you into breastfeeding don’t deserve to tell people how to parent! I absolutely hated breastfeeding too. I was miserable and had no idea how other moms actually made it work. I had private consultations by a lactation specialist and I still couldn’t figure it out. Baby, mommy, and daddy were miserable. After baby nearly ended up in the hospital We decided breast was not best and we were all better off. I felt so pressured by nurses and doctors and family that breastfeeding was the best option therefore the only option. But that is not true at all. For my future children I will probably breastfeed while I have colostrum and then switch to formula only when my milk comes in. And remember-you don’t owe anyone an excuse or explanation.

  • Erika
    Jan 07

    I am the same way!! My first I breastfed for a month, it was horrific. I was depressed, cried daily, couldn’t even enjoy my baby. I hated everything about it. When I put him on formula, my mood improved dramatically, even my marriage improved. My second came along and it was even worse. He was literally starving and I couldn’t produce for him. It was only a week later and he was on formula. They are both very healthy boys. There is so much pressure to be the “perfect” mom. However you feed your baby, you are the perfect mom in your baby’s eyes. I had to tell myself that I was so emotionally distant from my newborn and my husband that something had to change. I hated myself. I would’ve loved for breastfeeding to work out, but I have fed, happy babies. Your mental and emotional health is SO important!! You will do what’s best, and that baby will be just fine no matter what! 💘

  • Andrea
    Jan 07

    I can totally relate! I struggled for a month with my first and gave in, formula fed, terrible mommy guilt. BUT it was the best choice i made cause i was miserable and wasn’t enjoying my son until AFTER I stopped breastfeeding. My second son, now 10 months, i did everything I could to prepare. It took a-lot of work, we even formula fed for the first two months as my milk didn’t come in and I gave up for awhile... but when I gave it one last shot we did it! In the end, it was what I wanted and I did what I could emotionally handle both times. No regrets! Both my boys are fed, healthy, and happy... and that is what matters.

  • Jess
    Jan 08

    Breastfeeding was not for me. I pumped for the first 5-6 months, but when my supply ran out, we switched to formula. It was SUCH a difference to my mood! I was so much happier. So much so that I’m debating not even starting with breastfeeding with any future children. Luckily, no one in my life shamed me for giving up on breastfeeding. Do what works for you. As long as your kid is fed, how he’s fed doesn’t matter.

  • Melly
    Jan 09

    My lactation consultant once told me "any amount of breast milk is amazing" and it stuck with me. Whether it's for 2 days, 2 months, 2 years, do it for you, not the baby. He/she will be fine either way. I had my second recently and I have to say even with complicated pregnancies and deliveries, breastfeeding has been the hardest thing I've done in my life, and I've always needed to supplement. I am winding down and cannot wait for this part to be over. Hang in there and do what is best for you!