I hear and understand that you are worried about the gun play and that that may be a sign of violent notions within...let me share a day Care experience with you. My child was 2.5 at the time like his peers in his class and one time at dropoff I was ambushed by all his peers and then him joining them pew pewing me with their "stick guns". All in laughter and play. I shrugged it off and the teachers didn't pay much attention to it either. So 1, he could have learned it from his peers and also 2 it maybe just play with not real violent intentions. The daycare had a notification about it sent out with explanation of a child's need to feel powerful and how they are addressing that behavior by trying to communicate with words instead. Again it's probably not violent behavior but the need to be empowered. The same lines the issues with compliance. Yes boundaries and rules need to be established and consistent and may be it helps to have him comply by giving him some limited choices so he feels he has a say. It helped my LO. Additionally communicate expectations early so he knows how he needs to behave and what happens if he won't. Make sure he has no other reason to be in a bad place (hunger, tired) For disciplining and understanding the toddler years the book: "No Drama Discipline" helped me greatly to work through the problems and teach and redirect, instruct as it is the true meaning of discipline. Good luck Mama.
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