Posted in Multiple Children, Toddlers, Toys & Gifts

Etiquette question for parents of 2+ kids


Hi everyone! WWYD?? My child’s daycare teacher gave them several toys recently that her older child grew out of and she was confident her younger child wouldn’t want to play with. It really made my child happy and they’ve been playing with the toys nonstop for about a week and a half. I’d like to send my daycares child a small gift with a TY card. Nothing big, just something that kinda shows that we appreciate the sweet gift. So my question is about her teachers other child. I don’t want to seem rude and only get a gift for the child who gave their toys to mine, and I don’t want the other sibling to feel left out. However I don’t want to get the other child a gift “just because” since it will maybe dilute the thank you message to the child who gave a gift. Sooo, what is the right thing to do??!!? Is it mean to only buy a TY gift for one or is it over the top to buy for both?? Thanks for your help.

  • Kelly
    Feb 25, 2019

    What about skipping the thank you gift and having your child make a handmade thank you card to the other child instead? A fun project for your kiddo and a simple (but kind) gesture that doesn’t make the sibling jealous or even potentially make the daycare teacher feel uncomfortable with her child getting a new toy that she didn’t provide?

  • B
    Feb 26, 2019

    I don’t think the gift should be for the kid. I doubt they had anything to do with it. I’d give the teacher a small gift. Or probably not, and have my kids make her a card.

  • Anonymous
    Feb 26, 2019

    Thank you, Kelly. B, her teacher told me that her child came into the kitchen with a handful of toys and asked their mom if they took care of a child who would like to play with the toys because they no longer did. The teachers child had everything to do with it. I’m not sure yet if I’ll do a TY card and a gift or just a card, but after thinking about it last night I’ve decided that whatever I do it’ll just be for the child....I grew up in a huge family and we were not the “everybody gets a trophy” type...if anything, seeing an older sibling get a ty card or a small gift because they exercised an act of kindness was just a nice lesson for younger kids to learn.

  • B
    Feb 26, 2019

    Oh that’s so sweet. I think having your child make a sweet card is such a great idea for both of them. What a great story.

  • Sara
    Feb 26, 2019

    I wouldn't worry about the teacher's other child personally. The child who did the nice gesture gets the thank you gift and the other one doesn't need anything. I have 2 kids and they understand that they don't get a gift just because the other one does (well, my older one understands. My baby is too young to understand but also too young to care).

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Mar 05, 2019

    I think the card is a great idea. I think a gift for a gift kinda dilutes the generosity of it all for the child. To show it’s appreciated but not to expect a thing in return works well. A card is perfect.