Posted in Child Care, Parenting Culture, Relationships, Toddlers

Family friend babysitter or in home daycare

So, for the past two years I've had my daughter at a family friend's home with her granddaughter who is the same age. Sometimes it goes great, most of the time I feel like it could be better. She is fed well and has a place to nap, but she gets in trouble a lot and often gets reprimanded for saying "no" to putting her hair up or just saying the word in general. She is 2 and is going through the "me do it" phase, which I get can be stressful. I also have seen her give her granddaughter coffee (on multiple occasions) and once at a restaurant, she gave the granddaughter sugar packets to eat because she was getting rowdy... I've also been working on potty training a little bit at home but whenever she is over there, the sitter spends more time with the other child. She stated "every time I take G. To the bathroom, I bring R."... shouldn't it also be vice versa? They both have to go at different times. My daughter might not need to go when her granddaughter does. Now the granddaughter is potty trained completely and I haven't seen her offer the potty to my daughter when I've been over there. We also have to put my daughter in pjs and a shirt over it so she can't disrobe during nap time, but she frequently forgets and has found her with poop all over the crib about three times this month. Anyways, I happy she is able to spend time with another kid and she likes her, but I feel like she doesn't get as much out of it as the lady's granddaughter, who she is with all week. I don't know if it would be better at a center where they can learn a little bit and not have as much favoritism. Any ideas or am I just going crazy?

  • Andrea
    Oct 04

    Umm...this sounds awful! I would absolutely pull your daughter out and put her in a daycare center. My sons have both been in a daycare center since they were 4 months and I’ve never come back and found them smeared in poop. I’ve also never had to put them in PJs to come to school. It definitely sounds like your daughter is being neglected, at the very least, and possibly worse. Also, my kids have never “gotten in trouble” or been “reprimanded” at their school. Does that mean they don’t do things that they shouldn’t? No, of course not, they’re kids. But it means that our daycare provides for an environment where my kids can learn how to make good choices and learn from making the wrong ones in a way that doesn’t leave them feeling vulnerable and like they’ve done something “bad”. I would definitely move her as quickly as you are able.

  • Kaitlyn
    Oct 04

    My daughter also just started to get sick a day or two ago and she informed me that she cried for about 4 hours straight yesterday... 🤦‍♀️

  • Andrea
    Oct 04

    How heartbreaking! I’m so sorry you and you daughter are having to put up with this kind of mistreatment! It sounds like this is definitely not the right place for her!

  • Brandy E.
    Oct 05

    I would find other means of care for your little one. This makes my heart hurt. If she does go to a daycare she will have many other kids to make friends with. Also since a lot of daycares double as pre-schools she will start learning things like the days of the week, months, numbers, etc. and most of all social interaction!

  • Julie
    Oct 06

    I would pull her out of there as soon as possible!! Centers are expensive but at least your LO won’t have to deal with being neglected!! I would start touring centers immediately and find the one or two you like best and get on the waiting list ASAP.... My daughter has been in daycare since she was 12 weeks old. That’s when I returned to work. At first I didn’t like it at all but part of that was leaving my child alone and part of it was that one of her teachers wasn’t so great at the beginning (not sweet and nurturing). However as she grew I came to love the center. The teachers she has now are amazing and my daughter blows me a kiss and smiles and says “bye bye!” Every morning when I drop her off. You can have this too!!! Centers are not cheap and they’re not all great either but if you find the right one you will love it and most importantly, your daughter will too!!!

  • Julie
    Oct 06

    Also, my center doesn’t reprimand at this age!! They say that it’s totally ineffective when children are this young to reprimand. They simply redirect and move on.

  • Kaitlyn
    Oct 08

    Omg...really this sounds terrible. Please please find something better. A daycare, another in-home daycare...something. Look for reviews and parent recommendations! Hugs for your babe 💕