Anonymous

Friends

I’ve never been big on friends, have a few ppl I’m really close to but generally I’m content on my own w/my family. Fundamentally, I understand the importance of social/peer interactions but for the most part, my oldest has been indifferent. Just now, however, she had a sad moment (after watching a moving episode of Tumble Leaf) about missing hers friends and wanting more friends (we’ve all been pretty sick for a week and a half and have been stuck inside, so I think that’s a major contributing factor). But should this moment pass and she still feels that same way, I don’t really know how to help her. As I said, it’s not something I’ve ever felt like I needed and I do not really know how to casually make friends outside of school or work and she’s currently not in school but does attend a bunch of weekly classes. Having a inept parenting moment.

  • Kaleidoscope Children's Center S.
    check_circleChild Care Provider Nov 04

    Children really need to learn social skills with their peers. Most children are spending time in preschool and are all generally "learning" how to socialize and are well socialized by Kindergarten. My son did not attend preschool and was not well socialized. He was overtaken by a lot of emotions during his first years of school and became nervous and intoverted as a result. In the long run being behind socially was as detrimental as if he had been behind academically. Classes and playgrounds are great, but her real skills will be learned when her mom safety net is not there. Try two half days at preschool to help her learn independance, gain social skills, confidence, and make friends. Small preschools have small classes sizes where a Kindergarten class usually has 20 or more.

  • Sally
    Nov 07

    I’ve worried about the same thing with my daughter. I think the pressure to “socialize” is a little exaggerated though. I think as long as we’re giving them human interaction (even if it’s mainly with their family) there’s no rule that says they HAVE to interact with peers 8 hours a day. They might not learn to play the same games or make fun of the same things as their peers, but they’ll get a better vocabulary interacting with adults and if they’re talking to you, you have the opportunity to correct rude or poor communication. So I think you’re doing a great job having your little one in classes where she has the opportunity to be around others her age, but that it’s not necessary for her to have close friends that she sees regularly.