Frustrated.

Does anyone else get super frustrated at the end of the day? I’ve been trying to wash my hair for four days now. I have so much dry shampoo in my hair my fiancé thought I was getting grey hair. And honestly I totally snapped at my man for suggesting we go to a lemon festival and bless his heart he knew I was upset so he said “I’ll just ask you tomorrow” . But between my toddler still not talking and being just a wild child 24/7 and my fiancé always at work I feel like I’m going insane. I feel crazy but I also feel like I do so much in a day. I cook 3 meals plus 2 separate snacks a day (sometimes from scratch) I make sure my son is always on some arts and crafts project or hiking with me instead of vegging out in front of the tv (NOT SAYING THATS A BAD THING. If I’m not up for the day then he’s binge watching Netflix !) but generally I do a lot and I feel like just because I don’t have a traditional job doesn’t mean I’m not tired.

  • Cathy
    Apr 26

    Girl. You need to give yo’self a break! Go to the lemon festival. Take the shower. Order in a pizza. Maybe not all in one day - but spread it out a few days. If we all keep up that type of lifestyle we would become crazy. Cut yourself some slack. You’re still a great Mom.

  • Monica
    Apr 26

    Everytime I do something for myself I feel bad because my fiancé works so hard to provide for us and I don’t like spending money...

  • Sargie15
    Apr 26

    My opinion... Let your kid watch Netflix for an hour so you can wash your hair if that will help you feel a bit more relaxed. Give yourself a break and try not to sweat the small things. If 9 times out of 10 you kid is eating healthy food and one day you need to give him a pb&j or grab McDonalds for your sanity, then don’t let it get to you. It’s a treat for you both. I also stress about too much screen time and worry that my kid is eating too much processed food, but I had to just let go a bit and realize that a little of this or that in moderation is okay. I’ve decided that some days I thrive and some days I just survive. As long as I have more thrive days than survive days, then we’re moving forward. Being a SAHM (I assume that’s what you meant by non-traditional job) isn’t a walk in the park and neither is being a working mom. Every role has its challenges and rewards. I hope you enjoy the lemon festival. That sounds fun! *steps off soap box*

  • Anonymous
    Apr 26

    Let toddler spend time with fiancé n go shower

  • Cathy
    Apr 26

    Monica - a shower doesn’t cost a thing. Just because you don’t physically “make” money, doesn’t mean that your work at home isn’t worth anything. Plus, he offered to take y’all to the lemon festival. Go. Life is too short not to enjoy it. Your children won’t remember the homemade muffins you made them. They will remember if you were happy.

  • Anonymous
    Apr 27

    I used to be like that or worst no shower for 4 days straight. My husband used to work graveyard so when he gets home I’m still on my own with my daughter. I used to put her in a playpen or car seat just to take a shower. But now I take a shower with my daughter. Well not shower. I fill a bucket full of water and use a “tabo”/ plastic pitcher to wash us. I let her play in the bucket while I clean up then I wash her after that. You’re doing great mama! Heck I don’t even cook everyday and I’m tired. I used to be like that.. grumpy all day and all of a sudden I just take a deep breath and accept that I can’t do everything in one day. As long as my picky daughter eats and I can clean the kitchen at the end of the day I’m good. Oh I remember why I was so grumpy.. cause I wasn’t able to take a shower for daysss lol You have to feel good so your kid can feel that you’re in a good mood.

  • Loris
    Apr 27

    I’m going to tell you what my friend told me: “know that everything you say is 100% normal and nobody talks about it and it’s the best thing ever in the world to have a baby but you lose control and you lose yourself and the mom struggle is so so hard.” That being said, agree with a lot of the responses above - take that shower when your LO goes down for a nap, cut yourself a break & let Netflix give you an hour to yourself every once in a while - remember happy mommy = happy everything else 🙂

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Apr 27

    The only way I get a shower in is when I give my kids a snack and put on a show for 20 minutes. I think you can do all those things but only if you give yourself a rest during the day too. I do all the same things in a day with meals and activities and cleaning and it is exhausting, but I do use the tv 1-2 hours a day to either get chores done or get a shower in. If you are keeping them physically active and mentally active the other 10 hours they are awake, and then you use the tv a bit I think that’s okay. Because if you don’t find rest, you’ll eventually find yourself impatient with your child and other loved ones and that experience for them can not be better for them then a little educational tv. Plus, your mental health is equally as important as your kids. You are doing a great job.

  • Alexis
    Apr 27

    Oh man I'm so done at the end of most days. I just need time for myself. Its not even that I'm tired necessarily, I'm just tired of small needy people 🤣 I love em but I need my space!! I think you're doing great. Cooking 3 meals & 2 snacks a day plus crafts and hiking....you're a freaking super hero! My kids and I watch curious George and snack all day some days, ha! It's totally normal to be over it by the end of the day. 😊

  • Yanis
    Apr 28

    Yes! And those 3 meals and snacks come with washing dishes, and cleaning food from all over the place. Plus the cleaning, and overall stress of being a parent, making sure our child eats healthy, has clean clothes, is constantly being stimulated. It’s so difficult. My daughter turns 2 next month and we were feeling more comfortable putting her in daycare; and I was looking forward to starting to work again. I became pregnant again. ( we weren’t trying) Now, I am asleep by 8pm. I really don’t know what I’m going to do with two kids. Hang in there, I know exactly how tiring being a SAHM is.

  • Yanis
    Apr 28

    By the way, I agree with some of the previous comments. Put on Sesame Street for 20 minutes and wash your hair. Lol!

  • Anonymous
    Apr 28

    he might make the money but he makes it for all of you. It’s time for you to pay yourself, lady!!! Take a break, phone some other moms and set a date for a night out without the husband or your child. Get that time you deserve. And for crying out loud, drag the high chair into the bathroom, set your LO up with some crayons and paper, and wash your dang hair!! Lol. All of this is way easier said than done. My husband and I both work and our daughter is in daycare. I haven’t gone out with friends since before I got pregnant and I haven’t had my hair cut since July. My daughter doesn’t sleep through the night and I have “done” my hair for work exactly once since returning from mat leave 12 weeks post partum. That one time I did my hair was because my company was making all of us take our pics for LinkedIn or whatever. I don’t even remember why and I never ended up using the professional pics because honestly? I was a hot mess with my nicely straightened but massively split ended hair, my makeup less face, my boobs bulging from missing my pumping sesh to take the flipping picture, and what else?? Oh yea. I was still 15 pounds over my pre pregnancy weight (and I’m being generous when I say pre pregnancy, I was already 20 lbs overweight). All of that to say....yep. I’m tired. My hairs a mess. I put mascara on today but only because I had to prove to my daughter that I didn’t have a super cool marker in my bathroom but that it was actually something called mascara. She lost interest and my husband got excited because I was wearing mascara. This is my life. But you?? Yes. YOU should get the break all us mamas so richly deserve because I need someone to live vicariously through!! 😁😃😆. Good luck. My mom is 74 and I was asking her the other day when she finally felt like she had time for herself after having all us kids and she smiled and said, “any day now!!” Lolol.

  • Anne
    Apr 29

    I am in the same boat as you. Break up the monotony for your own sake. Give your kid leftovers for lunch one day, say, on a picnic at the park. It’s also good for your son to not constantly be doing an organized activity like crafts. As suggested in another comment, turn Netflix on and take care of yourself for a minute (or 30...)! Drink that hot cup of coffee (not reheated), brush your hair, do whatever makes you happy!

  • Lily
    Apr 29

    It won't kill your kid to watch Netflix while you shower! Start with that, and then just find some time each week where you can have some you time. For me, sometimes that is even just going to grocery store alone! Haha

  • Jenny
    May 02

    Agree with everything people are saying. Similar situation I have 2 under 2 and transitioned last year from working full time 60 hours a week to being stay at home. And let me just say this is so much harder! You have to give yourself a break or else you can’t take care of the ones you love. Working out every day has helped tremendously - plant your kid in front of the tv for 30 minutes and do a quick YouTube work out - that’s free! I don’t shower until night after kids bed and bath time so I can shower in peace without the stress of one of them crying mid shampoo. Also try to get out of the house!!! Even if that means just a quick trip so I can get a Starbucks once or twice a week it helps break up the day. Or try to go to local story times or stuff at your public library. I find when there is one thing a day that we can look forward to it helps me and my kids mobilize to try to do something instead of sitting around all day. Or take your kids on a walk around your local park or walk around the mall if the weather isn’t good. Believe me getting out of the house can do wonders! You’re doing great you just need to prioritize yourself sometimes and NOT feel guilty about it.

  • Rody the donkey
    May 02

    I’m with you. I have a newborn, four year old and a five year old. You are doing great. If you don’t want him to watch tv, don’t let him. It is important for your little to learn to entertain and play by himself. It’s great for creativity and it gives you a break. Let him be bored and he will find something to do.

  • A
    May 05

    I agree with everyone - 30min of screen time is totally worth clean hair. 😂 Also, have you looked into local rec centers? Honestly, the YMCA was a life saver for me, a mom of twins. My kids go to child watch for 2 hours a couple days a week. I workout, I shower, I have a cup of coffee in peace. And I am SUCH a better mom when I’m done. Also, I think it’s good for them, as well. They get some practice socializing with other kids and being away from mom.

  • Kerry
    May 06

    When my boys were babies (twins) my husband worked in Boston so he left the house at 4:00am and got home at around 6:00pm. Long day for a 40 year old first time mom of twins! Well every Friday night we had what we called "boys night". My husband would take over as soon as he got home, until I woke up on Saturday morning. I would take a bath, binge Netflix and chill out in the guestroom for 17hrs. It was a great break and I was recharged for the week! Maybe your fiance can help out?