FTM Needs advice on making Mommy Friends

Hi everyone! First time mom to my son born in November. I'm also a stay at home mom. I love the fact that I get the chance to stay home and watch my son reach all his milestones, but I feel like I'm slowly going crazy from lack of adult interaction! I've tried some mommy groups on Facebook and while I think I click with some moms, the feeling doesn't seem to be mutual. How do you make new friends? We moved to our current location a little over a year ago, so I don't really know anyone here, which doesn't help. I need mommy friends soon! Ok rant over lol P.S. I live in Southern California

  • Anonymous
    Aug 27, 2019

    Oh the interesting conversations I’ve had with my daughter a.k.a. myself since she was born. I’m a SAHM too and I only started making acquaintances with other moms since she was about 8m (she’s 1 year now). And even then we aren’t at a play date stage of friendship with anyone yet. For a long time it felt like I was in school all over again...trying to fit in, trying to be the cool mom, trying to find something in common with another mom, etc. It’s still hard but i found it gets easier as they are more active and mobile - crawling or walking up to others, grabbing another kids toy, etc. Going to something as simple as a story time or music class can help get you out there too. Don’t worry momma. I hear you and am with you.

  • PK
    Aug 28, 2019

    I’m a SAHM too. I don’t think I really made any mom friends until my son was 1.5 yrs. It was hard to get together with other moms because of nap schedules not lining up. I also have a “runner” for a son so when I do get together with other moms, I’m busy running after my son making sure he isn’t running towards danger. Making mom friends is hard!! You’re not alone. I finally made one mom friend who also had a “runner.” She is a working mom who always had Monday’s free. So I made it a point to make plans with her every Monday. Our boys slowly started to recognize each other and actually stick together when they go off running so it just got easier to get to know each other. So my advice? Find one mom that has a similar schedule to you and just keep taking the initiative to make weekly plans with her. Other than FB groups, there’s the Meetup app where you can find more mom groups and also this app called Peanut which is like a tinder for moms (where I met my one mom friend!).

  • Anonymous
    Aug 28, 2019

    I didn’t make any real mom friends until my oldest was closer to 3. I decided at that point to be the awkward mom who asked for phone numbers if I felt like we hit it off talking at a park or whatever. Most of my number exchanges didn’t amount to much, but I did find one great friend through it. My other friends I found through common interests, like routine library visits, neighborhood gatherings, etc. I think it takes time and I think in a way it’s easier when the kids are older and truly “play together”. I didn’t get bold until I realized how much my son loves having playmates so I asked numbers for him more than I would have been bold enough to ask to make friends for myself.

  • Jennifer
    Aug 29, 2019

    I was able to make moms friends through my daughter preschool. The babysitter was changing location and ended her home daycare in May. The school had 12 students. (State required) Since the kids grew up together and have known each other since they were 2-3yrs old, and now they are 5 going to kindergarten soon. Some are going to the same upcoming kindergarten, but some are not. We were sad. So we decided to ask all the older kids moms to keep in touch since are kids are all the same age from 4-5yrs old. I couldn't been happier. We now have weekly play dates. Out of the 12 kids, we were able to keep in touch with 9 because some of the older kids had little sisters and brothers who also go there. So I now have 5 mom friends. 🙂 Btw, you mentioned you are in Southern California. I'm located in San Gabriel. If you are close by, I'd love to hang out and be friends. Let me know.

  • Courtney
    Sep 24, 2019

    Yojana. Girl PREACH!! I live in WV and as if the extreme poverty, homelessness, drug addiction / overdoses etc weren’t bad enough. Our state is so ass backwards it’s like dog years but double or more. 1 year hear is like 14+ years somewhere else. Unless you are an addict / in recovery, a foster child or parent, or an incarcerated felon - there are no initiatives or programs or community events / groups for you. The crime, drugs and homelessness rate are so bad that it’s not really safe to go to specific areas or activities. Not only that but - like no one supports anyone around here. You can’t “find your tribe” or connect with others like you. It’s like everyone is out for themselves or they’re super fake etc. I SWEAR it’s like being in high school only now if you don’t conform to a certain persona then you can’t sit with them at lunch or be included. It’s super cliquey and extremely defeating