Posted in Special Needs Children

Getting doctors to take seriously my concerns of 3 yo daughter having ASD, ADHD, OCD, something.

I don't want to bore everyone with my daughter's life story but she has been very different from my two older kids since the day she was born. Even the pregnancy was much different/harder. I also have struggled with chronic pain and had horrible PPD for a couple years after her birth. And her father is a workaholic and this was his first child so It. Was. A. Struggle! Anyway, my daughter is very smart, is not behind in anything intellectually, physically, or socially BUT within the details of every day Life routines with her has always been extremely difficult. She HAS to have everything a particular way in everything she does. If not she has a melt down. And not just a regular toddler melt down but bad ones. She doesn't forget anything once she is fixated on something. You can't distract her or bribe her or anything. She is always always sensory seeking. She gets horrible anxiety when she's uncomfortable in any way and it takes a lot to calm her down. She is so curious about every little thing and she's so smart that her watching how something works once, she figures things out on her own very quickly. She's just figured out she can say no now and she also is super compulsive even when she knows something is dangerous or she's not allowed. It scares the crap out of me because she does things like runs away from me on the sidewalk or climbs up on things or runs out the front door. She always needs to be talking to me or showing me something or dragging me somewhere. Right now she's going through a phase where she freaks out if anyone touches any of her things. She only wants to wear this one dress (and it's the worst of course lol), she won't eat much and when she does she has to inspect it, smell it, lick it, to make sure it's exactly how it usually is. She does talk but she likes to scream and point more. Also the ONLY thing that calms her down and gets her to actually sit still is watching movies/videos. She does not adapt to change well at all, unless it's something she likes. And even then she gets almost manic about it. She gets super super fixated and obsessed with little things no other toddler would ever notice. She WILL NOT nap during the day, she gets more hyper and restless the longer she fights it also. And she will fight it for HOURS. UNTIL BEDTIME! This girl CANNOT be made to do anything she doesn't want to, and she's always been this way. A lot of family members always put in their two cents and don't understand that I've tried all of it already. My mom and grandma think we β€œlet her rule the house". My dad has been a God send and helps me out so much with her. She's such a Grandpa's girl. It's been so hard for me to explain the way she is, especially to doctors who all keep telling me everything is "normal". I've tried a few times to bring this up but they're never willing to even entertain the idea. Where do I go from here? I just wish I had resources and advice because throughout these three long and hardest years of my life, I've been figuring it all out on my own. Any advice, insight, resources, steps, anything at all would be helpful at this point. Thank you!

  • Morgan
    Jul 03

    It might be autism spectrum disorder

  • Vanessa
    Jul 03

    I've been wondering the same thing for a while. I've also looked into ADHD but there isn't much to look into with toddlers it's always older children in books, articles, blogs, etc. She takes up all day of every day and having chronic pain, low energy, headaches, my own anxiety etc it's been SO hard to find time/energy to do the research and finding resources. I am just so desperate for answers at this point because I have two other children and other responsibilities that get left behind, and also trying to keep my sanity intact lol. She is my world and I'd do anything for her, but this Mama needs help. Thank you for your input.

  • Rita
    Jul 05

    My oldest son was the exact same way when he was 3 years old. Now he is 26. I thought at first he was just being a toddler going through the terrible 2's until he started breaking dishes cause his shoes were not in the right place. I took him to the doctor and insisted that tests be done to find the problem. I had a 2 year old daughter with downsyndrome and had to protect her as well. Evaluation was done and that evening got a call from the doctor with the results. He had ADHD, OCD and ODD. It is rare to have OCD and ODD together but I was informed that Compulsive Disorder requires everything to be in a certain place a certain way. Destructive Disorder is exactly what the name says, Destructive. So if things are not in it's proper place for them, they have melt downs, have tantrums, even destroy things. Have her evaluated and in the meantime, ask her to show you what has her upset and ask her how/where it should be. She's not trying to run the house, I promise. At one time she remembers an object in a certain place for a period of time and her brain has programmed that that item belongs in that place. If you rearrange a room she is in frequently, have her help you so her brain can reprogram to the new setting. As for the migraine headaches, low energy and pain, get iron level checked. That sounds like anemia. I am anemic and have a high iron diet which has helped tremendously lessen the migraines and sever cramping pain and energy level was improving about a month or 2 after I started eating high iron foods. Hope this helps ease some of the tention.

  • Vanessa
    Jul 08

    Oh I know she's not trying to run the house but others who are outside looking in do lol. Their opinions and concerns are what get to me. I know my daughter is bright and amazing and has her own little ways of processing information and I try everything I can think of to try and figure that out with her. I just need to find a doctor who will get on the same page and stop telling me that there's nothing "there". I don't care what it is, I just want to find the proper resources so her and I don't struggle so much trying to figure it out on our own. How did you help out your son navigate his world after finding out his diagnosis? Were there any special programs/resources available to you and him?