Anonymous

Giving birth

I’m due in September and I was wondering what everyone’s experiences have been while giving birth. I have no idea what to expect (obviously a baby) pain wise. I’m a first time mom and I’m actually really really nervous. Do you prefer natural? Using an epidural? What other methods do they use to try and help the pain? Can someone please describe to me as best as they can what giving birth is like? The pain? Thank you.

  • Anonymous
    Jul 10

    ^^^ my fiancé’s sister said she doesn’t even remember the pain at all.. i know I will. I know I’ll never forget it.. 😑🙄

  • Vee
    Jul 10

    It's the most painful and blissful thing at the same exact time. 2 out of 3 kids were natural births for me. Giving birth is pretty hardcore. It's like holy hell this sucks, then you see you're baby's cute little face for the first time, none of the pain and struggles matter, in fact it ends up being worth it, the feeling turns in to being the best feeling ever, I dont even think theres a good enough word to describe the first second of holding baby in your arms. So if you're having a hard time, or nervous, try to get excited for what's to come of it.

  • Joy
    Jul 10

    I had both my sons naturally, and would have only been able to do it because the pushing phase was short, under 15 minutes. The contractions themselves were tolerable. Felt like tightening and stomach cramps during contractions, and then the pain would stop in between contractions. Distraction with talking to nurses or hearing others talk to each other helped me cope the most. It was the transition phase and then active labor and pushing that were quite difficult. Felt like the same contraction pains but the intensity x5-10. For my second, I started screaming uncontrollably and needed a dose of fentanyl, which relaxed me but didn't ease the pain. He came out a half hour later. Going natural is hard, but you do benefit from the amnesia about the pain after the birth. I can't recreate in my mind the pain, but can remember it was intense. I also remember the "ring of fire" phase when the baby crowned was like an intense burning down there. What helped me get through it was dealing with each contraction on its own, and not thinking about the entire labor. Having a good support team there helped greatly, I had my mom and husband there and amazing nurses. Also, I kept reminding myself something my grandma said... Birth is the easiest part... Raising your child is harder! Congrats and good luck!

  • Amanda
    Jul 11

    I was in the same boat as you. With it being my first pregnancy, I had no clue at all what the difference between Braxton Hicks and true contractions were...until I actually started to get real contractions. My water broke while I was sleeping and I honestly thought I just wet the bed, until I went to the bathroom and if continued to “trickle” out even after I thought I was finished. Then in about 15 minutes, I started to get actual contractions...for me they felt like horrible period cramps (not just the tightening like Braxton Hicks). I downloaded a contraction timer app and that helped me to realize that it was actual labor. My labor was a bit different than other, as by the time I got to the hospital an hour and a half after my water broke, I was already 100% effaced and 9 cm dilated so I couldn’t get any pain medication. Adding to the comment above, the “ring of Fire” was probably the worst part - feeling the head there and having to wait for the next contraction. And yes, a great support team helps tremendously. Good luck and congratulations!! 💕

  • Anonymous
    Jul 11

    Thank you girls so much 🙏🏻

  • Mia
    Jul 11

    There is a book: “Spiritual Midwifery” by Ina May. My hippie mother gave it to me when I was pregnant with my first. It is a bunch of natural labor stories and the way she describes them and the process was super calming to me before I had my first. (Of course my birth was nothing like that due to all sorts of reasons I won’t get into and I ended up with a c-section and all sorts of things I would have done differently) but it really is a good read, (even if you aren’t into the hippie stuff lol).

  • Vicky
    Jul 11

    With my first I was 17. My contractions had to be induced and let me tell you that was the worst pain I have ever felt. I was in labor 9 hours. I managed to go completely natural with my second. My contractions weren't as bad. They weren't induced. I was in labor for 6 hours. Went natural as well with my 3rd and 4th, labor was around 30-45 minutes--never got the chance to try an epidural. I had to go natural but the contractions aren't that bad depending on your pain tolerance.

  • Anna
    Jul 11

    Oh man. Every situation is so different! If there’s anything I learned, it’s to expect the unexpected. You absolutely never know what is going to happen. My baby was born 4lbs 15 oz on her due date! Never knew I’d have such a tiny baby. Her heart rate was decelerating the whole time, and I was really scared. But I was induced after my water broke because I wasn’t dilating, but was contracting, and I spent the night in the hospital and delivered the next morning. I only pushed about 4 times total before she was out, and I didn’t have that exhausting experience that others talk about so often-I’m hoping it doesn’t happen this time with my 2nd! I did have an epidural, but no other pain meds. Contractions were painful to a certain point, but getting the epidural was the most painful part that I remember. But once it was in, I felt like I was at the spa. Lol. It was awesome! I didn’t throw up like some ladies do, but I did spike a fever towards the end of the laboring process. I was scared, but it all worked out okay. Taking baby home was much more traumatizing to me than my hospital experience, but things got so much better with time. My “baby” is 2 now, and it goes fast! It will be overwhelming, but all will be fine. 😊

  • Amanda
    Jul 11

    I preferred not to use drugs, because I like to feel in control. I don’t like feeling like I’m off in space! The epidural is nice when it’s been a long labor, but you are not able to walk around and that is not great, but it does offer some relief if your body is extremely fatigued. Labor is extremely painful, but your body knows what to do, and once all is said and done, you may even feel intense euphoria!

  • Sarah
    Jul 12

    Contractions start out as like giant abdominal hiccups. Mostly just annoying at first. Then once they progress they become much more frequent and intense. I think just taking it moment by moment and keeping in the back of your mind that there is a great payoff at the end! Once the baby starts to engage it feels like the worst period back pain ever. Like I would just cram my knuckles into my back. To me the pushing has always been the easiest part because it means you are almost there!! Don’t feel defeated if you chose an epidural. My first labor was 36 active hours! If I hadn’t have finally gotten the epidural I wouldn’t have been able to rest at all! My only recommendation is to wait as long as you can stand before you get it! Because once you get it all your mobility options go away. It’s really nice to be able to move around during labor!

  • Caitlin
    Jul 12

    Check out Hypnobirthing and Spinning Babies- both awesome resources that helped me have a no meds birth

  • Erin
    Jul 12

    I am due in September too, with my second! Congrats momma!! Books you should definitely read that will help you with your questions, in order of importance: Ina May's Guide to Childbirth Natural Hospital Birth Birthing from Within But to paraphrase Birthing from Within, and to summarize my experience of natural childbirth: Labor is Hard Work. It Hurts. You Can Do It! Yes it will probably hurt and yes it will be the hardest work you've ever done. But it is so worth it!!

  • Erin
    Jul 12

    I could describe the pain to you but honestly I'm not sure that's helpful, as the more positive and unafraid you are going in, the better you'll do. I took a Hypnobirth class and surrounded myself with positive birth stories and out of my 24 hour labor, only the last 2.5 hours (transition and pushing) hurt. 100% unmedicated and intervention free. Almost didn't make it to the hospital in time and he was my first! Another 30 minutes and I would have given birth at home or in the car. Definitely hire a doula if you are trying to go natural and can afford it, mine was a huge help.

  • Carre
    Jul 15

    Of course it’s subject. I gave birth in April and the words I’d use to describe mine are fast and intense. I too was nervous for childbirth but it went incredibly well for me. It all happened very quickly. I arrived at the hospital at 9 am was 6 cm dilated and by 10:30 I was pushing. Natural no epidural. Contractions were like very intense long cramps that’d go away and come back. Going natural, pushing I’d say was more painful than contractions. I felt every stretch and every burn as I pushed so hard. Then the afterbirth, where they push and poke at your stomach to get out the placenta, fluids and anything else was also pretty painful/annoying. This was mostly cuz you’re so sore/tender. Overall, it was a great experience. Never thought i could do it. We’re strong as women and our bodies can do amazing things. I wish you a swift labor & delivery with a healthy and happy baby

  • Wenonah
    Aug 06

    It actually wasn’t that bad. I expected to screen and curse at my boyfriend like the women do in movies. Labor felt like really bad period cramps towards the end but in the beginning it just felt like mild cramping and I was in labor for 18 hours no pain relievers. The worst pain was when I passed her shoulders because she ripped me a little bit. Everybody’s pain threshold is different. My best friend was in labor for 10 hours and she said it wasn’t painful at all smh lucky her lol

  • Anonymous
    Aug 13

    Giving birth is a crazy out of body experience. It’s also so automatic- your body just does it. It’s incredible. My second birth was so quick- only 1.5 hours from when I felt my first contraction to when I had my son. I was actually pushing in the car.... no matter how hard I tried I could not stop my body from pushing- it all just happens...

  • Lola's mama
    Aug 27

    Hi, this is truly based on my experience as a first time mom as well. I never know how much it hurts because I had epidural in my back. So from a scale of 1 to 10 epidural hurt like a 9. While getting it I was trembling from the pain. I got too much on my mind back then. I was so scared of not being able to feel my legs and adraid of the super low percentage of not being able to recover from it. It's a phobia that almost stop me from getting an epidural. However it's the safest of all the anaesthesia and I am so glad I made the decision to get it. Well actually it was my husband who pursuaded and pushed me to it. My contractions were really strong once I had the epidural, I almost felt like nothing was going on. From there my midwife gave me pitocin to help my cervix dilated faster. It helps so much, i got the much needed rest/sleep for hours before the push. So from 11 am I was dilated 3 cm and by 7 o clock my midwife check again (they check it by the hours tho to monitor the progress) and see that my cervix fully dilated because of the strong contractions, my water broke on its own and my midwife said I can start pushing. The contractions were growing stronger and even with the epidural I could feel the contractions pain. Nurses told me to push like u about to go number 2 but with a constipation instead 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ and not pushing with your chest but focus on your belly. I hold both legs up and push every 15 to 20 seconds base on my contraction. Within 50 mins the baby is out. Knowing what I know now, I can probably push the baby out way sooner. I didn't feel any vaginal pain at all thanks to epidural. However something that I wish I talked to my midwife more was the episiotomy. My skin was too fragile. I tore right up my clit, my perineum (thank god it didn't tear my anus) and to my left labia. I wish I got a proper cut so i wouldn't tear myself to that degree. Recovery took over 3 months to heal. You should mention about episiotomy with your OB and see if you can get ahead with any ideas about what can be done. A cut is better than a tear. Here's an example. Take a piece of cloth and tear it now try to sew it back. See how hard it is? It's better to get a cut before hand. It's also base on the size of your baby's head also. Mine is big. She is 7 pound 7 oz baby yikes😫 I hope by hearing my birth experience can help guide you and maybe help you decide on what to do and expect ahead of time. Good luck and take a good care of yourself mama. You got this!

  • Lola's mama
    Aug 27

    Also since September is coming soon, and if u are delivering in the hospital, be sure to visit it and find out about hospital bills and book the room. You don't want your partner to be away from your delivery room for hours doing these kinda things while he could be with you guys and spend the most precious time together.