Posted in Marriage & Partnership

Good communication between wife and husband

Anonymous

I really think I’m like minor depressed. It’s just to a point that I don’t want to do nothing. And my husband makes it worst without realizing it. Well now he finally confides to me that he’s depressed and holding in his feelings, from work. His job is a very stressful job (he’s in the military). So I finally got him to talk bout it and pretty much he feels like he’s not doing as good as he wants to do and feels like he sucks at work and being a dad and a husband. While I feel like I suck as a wife, mom (somethings), and doing my wifely duties aka cleaning cooking. So I feel like this needs to change and we need to talk more. What do you ladys do? How do you guys keep the communication going so none of you don’t keep the feelings bottled up and not have a outburst later on. I feel like this is our weakest spot. We both can’t be feeling like this all the time. We need to have a different out take like a change so we both don’t go depressed!

  • Christy
    Dec 04

    Honestly, I have to say that you both should be patting yourself on the back to opening up to one another. It is a very good start. Tell your husband that opening up to you makes you happy and you are happy to listen, and find a solution (That alone, makes you a good wife). Then let him know how you feel and come up with a plan/routine on how to make time on discussing what needs to be said. My husband works the night shift; so we have a white board on our wall and fridge to help organize the day, write notes, and even schedule time for ourselves for movie night or "discussion time". Being a mom and wife is hard. Do not let the chores and craziness define you to whether or not you are good at those titles. What matters is that you are present in every moment to the best of your ability while listening, loving, and caring for each member of your family. And that your husband makes sure to do the same, despite the circumstances of his job (and you both learn to accept the terms of your lifestyle).

  • Anonymous
    Thursday

    I think we are getting there. We are slowly talking about our feelings. I definitely saw a change yesterday as in helping me because he changed the baby a bunch without me even asking him. And even when I ask him to play or hold him while I get baby food or make dinner or take a shower/potty. He didn’t hesitate to do so. So after a long talk I think we're getting better. Just want to know if there is more for us to do so we both don’t go down in the slumps. Like one person has to be able to pull the other person out if needed to.

  • Christy
    Thursday

    But it's ok for you both to be down in the dumps as long as you are both open about it. And praise the Lord, girl - I know what you mean! It took my husband a while to do things without asking too, and it was like a load off my shoulders! It all takes time, but it seems like you both are going in the right direction. If it helps, try to just rent a movie together to have some time when kids are asleep and just chill. And maybe plan a family outing once a week. Just to kinda shake off that down in the dumps feeling. You can even look online for "ice breakers" to help open and start a conversation. My husband and I love those!