Posted in Family Life, In-Laws, Working Parents

Grandmas 2x a week, daycare/school 3x a week... or cut out grandmas?

Anonymous

When my toddler will be 18 months, she will spend 3 days a week at daycare/school (tues/wed/thurs). And at home with mom Monday and MIL Friday. Currently she is at home full time with each grandma coming to my house. It’s been helpful because we can just run out of the house in the mornings, sometimes they cook, sometimes they fold laundry, and we get to check off the “see grandma” box and have the weekends fully to ourselves..... But it’s been painful because we don’t feel like we are adults in our own home anymore, we come home to someone “else” in our home, we use to feel bad for treating them like hired help but eventually we had to put our foot down because dinners with a grandma and sometimes our adult siblings became too much after a long day at work.. and all our house! Doesn’t necessarily mean we cooked for everyone. The daycare has the option of letting us going to full time at 5 days a week, meaning they don’t fill the other 2 days! We will obviously see how things go when she starts, but I’ve been toying with the options.... -With each grandma each week, they get equal time with my child (god forbid I do 4 days daycare and only my mom watches her - let the war begin lol) I don’t need to see them on weekends (and I really don’t want to see my MIL 😂) they get to be “caregivers” in a sense and that fulfills their deep down desires. Our mornings are very easy, they do breakfast with her too. Someone folds my laundry lol... but also any weekend babysitting opportunities would have to be with our siblings or friends, which we only have 1 person who can do that right now (my bro/sis in law), as friends who offer to watch her, won’t come to our house, where she’s most comfortable at this age. -if we did full time daycare, mornings would be tough 5x a week but I’m sure we will get into a routine. We would feel some normalcy after work and coming home (the orig set up has been going since she was born, so 13 months now......). We would have to see grandmas at least 1x a month, but I would could to Do more date nights and let them babysit on weekends for us and they would get to hog my child to themselves... Thoughts? Suggestions? Experiences?

  • Anonymous
    Aug 23

    Edited to add: I do pay the grandmas for their time, and I have anxiety over my kitchen (I’m going to therapy for it haha) and I hate coming home to what is essentially a daycare in my home, and the mess that comes with it. The grandmas eye sights aren’t as detailed as mine so I see every oil/water/drip drop mess!