Anonymous

Grandparents Spoiling Kids

I’m a mom of two year old twins, having some difficulty dealing with having both sets of grandparents around ... and the amount that the “spoil” my kids. I feel like there is just a constant influx of new toys, new clothes ect. I’ve asked them to stop but they just don’t seem to listen. It A. creates more work for me, as I constantly have sort through all the junk that comes into our house and B. I just feel like it’s not good for my kids, as I want them to learn how to appreciate things. Any thoughts on how to deal with this?

  • Anonymous
    Sep 10

    We tell the grandparents to only buy clothes in a size up (😉) and any toys they wish to purchase is awesome! But those toys can stay at their house since they bought them lol we don’t take any toys home with us

  • Diana
    Sep 10

    Grandparents want to spoil their kids - that’s half the fun of having grandkids! I would just offer them better alternatives, for example: a contribution to a 529; a subscription to a magazine; a set of tickets to a local sporting event, theater or music; lessons for the kids (swimming, gymnastics, dance or music); a membership to a local museum; ask them to hand write postcards and mail them to your kids so they get something in the mail; make a copy of a photo of themselves as a child and write a story about the rocking horse they used to own (or whatever toy they liked); have them take the kids out, or pay for a professional photographer, etc, etc Then just make sure they know how grateful you and the kids are for the non material gifts!

  • Jess
    Sep 10

    I agree with Anon... my parents are always trying to buy toys and I say sure as long as it stays at your house... they don’t want the extra clutter so that has stopped on the amount they buy 😀 For clothes, we also say next size up and limit to play clothes and not fancy dress or “uncomfortable” clothes...

  • Anonymous
    Sep 10

    If they dont stop, despite asking, you can always donate

  • Anonymous
    Sep 11

    I have four kids now, and sometimes the grandparents listen and sometimes they don’t. I’ve taken to donating or returning what I don’t want in the house, but the additional work created is frustrating and annoying. I have the advantage of both sets living far away so they won’t notice when something goes straight to the donation pile. I have no advice, but you could remind them that you reserve the right to donate anything you don’t want in your house and maybe they’ll heed the warning. I’m always repeating myself when they visit about how kids have nothing and our kids have so much, and priorities etc. it’s slowly sinking in I think.

  • Kate
    Sep 12

    I had this problem too. I eventually just said nope no more stuff in my house, it’ll have to stay at yours.

  • Anthony
    Sep 12

    My mother in law likes to spoil my girls and my nieces and nephews. My wife and I don't really have an issue with it as we are pretty good at cycling out older clothes and toys and donating them. My sister in law hates it. Though her husband is in the army and they have to move every so often. So I get the frustration of having to deal with the clutter. Personally, I don't mind. I think it's because I was raised by a grandparent and now, she is my only living one that I have a much greater appreciation for them and don't really care that my girls grandmother spoils them. She is older and has some health issues. She isn't going to be around forever. But I understand every home is different

  • Danielle Sanford
    Sep 12

    Well I would tell them only to buy clothes and if they must buy toys keep it at their house

  • Anonymous
    Sep 12

    I guess this is all about perspective. I wish everyday more than anything that my daughter had grandparents.

  • antigrav_kids
    Sep 12

    Do you live in the same town, and do you see them often? I've found I do a fair amount of thanking the grandparents for their kind thoughts, and then getting rid of the stuff they send before it ever gets into the house..

  • crystall
    Sep 12

    Tell them they have to keep whatever they buy at thier house

  • Sunrise
    Sep 12

    We have a issue with this as well. Grandparents live 10 mins away and see all 3 Kids multiple times a week which is fabulous....except Grandma with several interventions to stop buying the kids crap toys from the dollar store every single time she sees them and every time she runs errands and takes them with them she buys them candy and sugar treats and crap toys. We have donated several LARGE lawn bags of toys and stuffed animals to Goodwill and tell her we don’t want or need any more “things” and it’s hard to take the kids places without them begging for non needed items. We ask her to take them to the beach or the lake or the pool or the library anytime she wants to. The kids each have plenty of items and no more room for their new items and they play with them once and get tossed aside for the next items she buys. She disrespects our pleas and we continue to donate weekly. Literally. We have asked to keep at their house and they just show up with more. Sadly, we are not being heard and we shall continue to just donate. Weekly.

  • Anonymous
    Sep 12

    Maybe ask if they can pay monthly for a sport instead of toys :) dance classes, football team, swim lessons etc

  • Allen Tracy
    Sep 12

    My Dad used to tell my Mom's Mom (my Grandma) "You know the more you spoil them the harder I'm going to have to whoop them". Didn't solve the situation but definitely got a laugh out of his mother-in-law.

  • Renee
    Sep 12

    I heard that Grandparents these days are actually going bankrupt and spending their retirement $ on their grandkids

  • Rebecca
    Sep 12

    I always encourage for gifts things that can be a experience like tickets to a movie or theme park. I hate the influx of stuff in my home and honestly don’t feel bad getting rid of things that are not being used. And I have no problem saying that x is so nice it will be used at your house for them to enjoy. My philosophy is less is better and creates a better imagination and actual use of toys.

  • Meggan
    Sep 13

    We always got to take one or two toys home and the rest stayed. we had a if one comes in something else must go rule and what my mom called a dejunking every 6 months where not played with and broken toys and clothes were thrown out or given away. If they insist on spoiling them suggest experiences, taking them to a play or the zoo or a museum somewhere. Give experiences rather than physical gifts. Then they get quality time and memories they’ll keep forever.