Anonymous

Guardian

Who is your kids legal guardian if you/and spouse pass away? How did you ask them? Are both sides of the family aware of your choice? Did anyone say no when you asked? How did you decide?

  • Laura
    Sep 17, 2018

    Christy - you can probably get free legal help through a local law school.

  • Anonymous
    Sep 17, 2018

    For several reasons, siblings are out for us, and there's really only my parents left, but they are turning 70 this yr, so that isn't the best option. Our closest friend is married, pregnant with her first, and financially stable. Were the other options viable, she would still be our top pick to raise our kid, but I'm hesitant bc I don't know what to do *if* she says no.

  • Maranda
    Sep 17, 2018

    Following!

  • Anonymous
    Sep 17, 2018

    My step mom and father asked my mom and step dad if they would take my brother. My parents declined as they are done raising children and don't want to deal with the school system all over again. Now if anything happens to them my brother will go to my uncle and his wife.

  • Anonymous
    Sep 17, 2018

    I would think it would be better to ask and have someone say no then to leave it to chance. My parents had our neighbors be our guardians when we got older. They are pretty much the closest thing we have to grandparents at this point. They never had kids but would have taken good care of us. My sister and I knew of my parents decision. I would ask your friend. If she isn’t interested it’s better to know now. And you can always change a will at any time to reflect who you think would be the best fit. A will is not set in stone

  • WombatStew66
    Sep 17, 2018

    It's important to get it done soon. We did it a couple years ago. We asked my husband's cousin, who has two girls of her own, owns her own business, has a strong family unit, is strong on education, is stable and we felt secure in her making sound decisions for our daughter if anything were to happen. One of the qualities we always admired about her, she has a way of drawing family together and making everyone feel welcomed. It's great that she lives close by so our daughter can spend time with her cousins too.

  • Audrey
    Sep 17, 2018

    Following

  • Kathie
    Sep 17, 2018

    I gave it very special thought but ended up asking my half sister if she would want to be my sons godmother. She was extremely honored and even though she’s a single mom already I know that she could handle it and take good care of my son if the unthinkable were to happen to both me and my husband. As of right now nobody else in my family or my husbands family knows about it. But i do need to make it official.

  • Paige
    Sep 17, 2018

    We chose our really close friends. We chose them because they would not only be incredible parents, but they share the same spiritual beliefs as us. They have been there for us through a lot... and very much so throughout my pregnancy. One of my brothers has two kids and my other brother is their godfather. And he seemed upset that I didn’t choose him too, and his girlfriend asked me tons of questions about why I picked out friends instead. I explained the best I could, but they still seemed sad.

  • Nandi
    Sep 17, 2018

    I chose my aunt in N.C., we just talked about this. I had a life or death experience with an armed robber with my 2 month year old. It had me thinking what would’ve happened to my 6 year old child. Completely broke my heart. I’m still suffering from it, mentally. I have her a list of people to choose from and she chose my aunt. I don’t want them to be separated so I know my aunt would keep both and raise them in a Christian household.

  • Anthony
    Sep 18, 2018

    I was always raised with the idea it was the godparents who would take on that role. Maybe that was/is some old fashion stuff. Luckily, my children’s godparents are my wife’s siblings. We haven’t nailed down exactly who would take on that role. But I know for certain one of sister in laws would do it in a heartbeat if by chance we didn’t decide in time.

  • Gina
    Sep 18, 2018

    We never picked godparents and I know I created something a while back on willing.com that list that....I think I had actually chosen my sister at one time but then I think I ended up choosing one of my friends who has kids and she is great with her kids. My sister currently doesn't have kids and although I know she would take care of her niece it would really just depend how her situation is moving forward.

  • Carly
    Sep 18, 2018

    I just had to do a legal will since my sons dad and I are not married. We talked about it a little before and chose my aunt. I asked her at the lawyers office when we were doing the will. She said yes but if the time comes and she can't his parents are next. If his parents are not capable my other aunt will be the person. My aunts are aware but his parents are not. I didn't want to upset them with being the 2nd choice. I called my other aunt to ask after the appointment with the lawyer and she said yes.

  • Carly
    Sep 18, 2018

    A big part of our decision was that my boyfriends parents and I have different ideas on raising kids. Another big deciding factor was who was currently trying to be in our sons life. My mom has passed and my dad would not be responsible. My aunt is the closest thing on my side of the family to a grandmother (she has also done way more for us then his parents.)

  • Jordan
    Sep 19, 2018

    We chose my first cousin and her husband as our daughters godparents, so they are who she goes to if we pass. We chose them because they live fairly close to us, above anyone else, they would be the best for parents to our baby girl, and there isn’t anything big that they would do or teach her that would go against our wishes. My husband is Catholic so we had her baptized and that’s where the godparents are named and they’re a part of the ceremony too. And the ceremony was in front of both of our families. I think my brother and his wife were hurt that we didn’t ask them, but our daughter doesn’t see them much (we live 4 hours away from them) but she sees her godparents and their children often. Ultimately, it’s about what is best for your child, you, and your partner. To me, it’s okay if feelings get hurt in this situation. My brother and his wife still love her with all their hearts, and the relationship hasn’t changed between us at all. It’s just one of those uncomfortable choices to be made, but it was the best choice for our daughter and she’s the most important in this situation. With asking them, my husband and I had dinner with them and just said, “ we’ve been talking for awhile about who we think would be best to have Kiya if something should ever happen to us, and we think you two would be perfect if you’re willing to be her godparents.” They both teared up and of course so did I. It was a really beautiful moment and it has brought us all closer together.

  • Brittany
    Sep 22, 2018

    This is something we have yet to do...

  • Anonymous
    Sep 24, 2018

    My parents are pretty young so if something were to happen to both my husband and I we’ve discussed and set up a will that states that our daughter goes into their custody. It was addressed after a fall out with my in laws - my in laws live in the same city as us and have 0 relationship with our child and my parents live 1,000 miles away and have a very good relationship with her. My husband helped make the decision obviously, the only person on his side of the family is his aunt as she’s the only one that’s halfway normal and has a relationship with our daughter. I’m sure it’s obvious to his parents, but like I said we don’t speak to them so they’d probably still try to get custody. No one said no, we only asked my parents. Decision was pretty easy, on my husband’s side we only speak to his aunt and they’re significantly older than my parents. On my side the only people I’d be willing to trust my daughter with are my parents and they’re the youngest/healthiest anyway.

  • Alondra
    Sep 25, 2018

    Following

  • Anonymous
    Sep 25, 2018

    This is so scary to think about. I don’t even know how to bring it up to my husband because we honestly don’t trust anyone with our son