Anonymous

HELP!

My husband and I just found out we are pregnant with baby no. 2! BUT I’m in a dilemma. I want this pregnancy to be as peaceful as possible and with that I want limited people knowing for as long as I can. I know eventually family will come around and see my bump, but until then I don’t know how to not let people know. The thing is, we have parties and holidays coming up where alcohol will be around, my family knows I am a social drinker and can pass on alcohol at any time, but how do I keep them from being suspicious without the “I just don’t want to drink” comment being said whenever I get offered something. Also, My stepdaughter will find out obviously before family, but I know she will go and tell her mother and her mother will tell family (because she still talks to them), so how do I go about putting a stop to that without being rude about it? TIA!

  • Anonymous
    Sep 30

    You can try saying you are on some health kick or "cleanse"...or you can also make a mock drink or fill an empty beer bottle/can and just keep that charade going long as possible. Can you ask your step daughter to promise not to tell? You think she could hold the secret if you ask her as a favor?

  • Ivana
    Sep 30

    I had this issue too with lots of parties around the holidays where alcohol was served and I knew people would be suspicious eventually. What I ended up doing was carrying a flask of pomegranate juice with me that I poured into a wine glass 😆 bonus: it’s a healthy beverage!

  • Kieli
    Sep 30

    I would say “oh I’m trying to watch my figure, and would much rather eat the calories at Thanksgiving dinner than drink them!” And I think the replacing drink idea is brilliant!

  • Jenn
    Oct 01

    I don't really drink (just don't like it) but some excuses when I did: I'm so tired today, I just got over a bug, I took allergy medicine today, I'm cutting excess calories Pretending you're on a diet is maybe the best one because it can carry over to the next get together.

  • Olivia
    Oct 01

    Not sure about the drink thing, but, you can talk to the mother of your daughter. It's your pregnancy, not hers and if she were to take announcing it away from you that would be super disappointing. I would come at it from a stand point of "you wouldn't want someone to do it to you so from one mom to another, please keep this between us until I'm ready"

  • Cathy
    Oct 02

    Say you’re on medication.

  • Stacie Chaney
    Oct 03

    I had the same problem with my first and everyone was watching me like a hawk. I'm not a big drinker but it would've been obvious if I wasn't... what I did is three things: 1) had mocktails- for example, made seltzer with lime and said it was a gin and tonic or seltzer and orange juice for a mimosa. 2) I always had a drink in my hand that you couldn't see the contents and just pretended to drink, i.e. a can of beer or 3) if someone brought me a drink like a glass of wine, I would pretend to drink it and then either pour a bit out when no one was looking or my husband would occasionally take drinks of it so it looked legit. Not a soul knew, we fooled them all and everyone was surprised when we finally announced :)

  • Sarah
    Oct 03

    I’d often get the same drink as my husband, and when his drink was half full, we’d switch glasses. I’d take a few sips here and there, but essentially he did the drinking for both of us. Also, saying you are getting over a cold can be a good excuse for not drinking, or just having “one”. I had a few people joking ask if I was pregnant when I declined a drink. A quick “are you calling me fat?” response ALWAYS stopped the questions.

  • Allegra
    Oct 03

    All the studies that have been done about alcohol during pregnancy agree that one drink every once in a while is perfectly fine. Some studies have even shown that if the occasional drink helps you to relax, it can actually be helpful to cut down on stress chemicals in your body which are far worse for baby. If it will help you to feel relaxed at the holiday events, I say just grab one drink at the beginning of the night and nurse it for the whole evening. Just pretend to keep getting another drink or tell people you have a little bit of a stomach ache so you're taking it easy.

  • Christine
    Oct 03

    I would hold a glass of wine during parties and take the occasional teeny sip and have my husband drink it when no one was looking. I basically would hold the same drink all night and no one caught on. Also I’d do club soda and a lime which looked like a vodka soda.

  • Vonda
    Oct 03

    You can say you took cold medicine and don’t want to mix it with alcohol in your system. I drank root beer from a bottle and almost no one noticed the label. Or do the husband drinking trick. And fake sip. Or I’d just say I’m the one driving tonight. So no one questions it. I just wouldn’t bring it up much with your step-daughter. If she says something about your tummy etc. just say it’s your tummy. Idk how old she is. So it may not work if she’s older. You may have to tell her mother and ask her to not tell. Say you don’t want to announce it until later on in the pregnancy. She should understand.