Posted in Parenting Culture, Sleep, Stay-at-Home Dads, Tips & Hacks

Helping a SAHD


When my daughter was born my mother helped me take care of her. I had about 5 months of maternity leave so I was at home for a good while, but once I returned to work, she took care of her alone while myself and my husband were working. Now our routine has changed and my mother returned to work. My husband is now a SAHD and while he does an amazing job I need to help him with getting her on a routine like she was on before. My husband just kind of makes sure she’s healthy and happy but not on a real schedule which sometimes makes things a little harder at night when I get home. Her naps used to be at the same time and now they’re all over the place and sometimes she’ll miss scheduled classes she used to go to because she’s sleeping during the class time. Anyway, I don’t want to hurt his feelings but I want him to do a “better job” at getting her on a routine. Anyone experienced with how to help a Dad with a routine. Our daughter is 14 months by the way.

  • LaVona
    Oct 15, 2018

    We recently transitioned to the same set up. Before we started i created a scedule for them to get ideas on how to plan his days. He morphed this into his own schedule. I told him how important it is for a child to have a structured day with set times for naps, food and play. The different typed of play for developement and growth. The variety of foods that we needed to hit each week. He has taken alot if it to heart and some has gone to the wayside but i think the conversations really helped him understand my point of view and we can continue to have open conversations about his developement.

  • Pad
    Nov 05, 2018

    Hmm tough one.. speaking from a male perspective I agree totally schedules and routines are important. I don’t think Dads lack of scheduling is a disregard for the need but rather another point to consider is just how difficult being a stay at home dad/mom can be. Sounds like you are placing unrealistic expectations on papa bear almost like he should measure up to your mom but men just are wired that way. The nurturing for example when younger doesn’t come natural to us. I remember having to act my way through it until my daughters personality kicked in. Just remember “like she was before” could mean before yesterdays growth spurt or before yesterday’s molar decided they wanted to kick in .. or before Miss Personality decided to skip meal because welp that’s just her mood today. Go easy on Dad. All that said here’s a suggestion. Ask him to be on night duty ever so often.