Ali

Helping child be assertive

My son is almost 5 and not very assertive with other kids. It is like he is intimidated or doesn’t know how to get kids to play with him unless he does what they say. He is reserved and it takes time for him to make new friends. His pre-k teacher has mentioned several times that his friend bosses him around a lot. Any ideas on how to talk to him about this or help him gain some confidence around other kids? Thanks!

  • J
    Mar 05

    Still going through this with my 9 year old step son. 😕

  • PK
    Mar 05

    Sports or some kind of organized activity where the instructor is an adult rather than another kid?

  • Momof2
    Mar 05

    Does he have a sibling or close friend that he would feel comfortable practicing this with? When one of my kids comes screaming to me that the other did something to them the first thing I say is “did you tell her you didn’t like when she did that to you?”. Often the answer is no so then I facilitate the conversation giving them the language to be assertive and make their needs known “that hurt my feelings when you took the ball from me”. Sometimes my local library is helpful if I’m looking for a book on a specific topic. Maybe you could ask your local library for books that deal with issues of emotions and making friends? Finally, what does your sons teacher say? Does she have any suggestions? Maybe you guys could work together to come up with a strategy that he could use at school and maybe reinforce with you outside of school? Good luck

  • Beverly
    Mar 07

    I think Myrtle hit the nail on the head with asking "did you tell them to stop or that you didn't like it?" and then providing direction and words on how to do it. Also explain there might be push back, but that's ok/normal/don't back down

  • Ali
    Mar 07

    I will start working with him when his brother is pestering him. I also like the idea of an organized sport. I didn’t even think about asking the teacher for ideas on working on it!